Jun 092009

Aluminum Mini 3" and 4"There are two surprising things about California Exotic’s Aluminum Mini butt plugs. First, uh, they’re made of aluminum, and since when does CE consider that a valid material? And second, each one comes in fairly non-offensive packaging — a small black box with a plastic covering. No naked ladies on the cover; instead, the word “MINI” looks like the Lost DVD logo. Inside the black box, there is… wait for it… a bed of black satin. Yes, njoy-style.

But it’s still California Exotic, and I am reminded of this by the not-exactly-awesome construction of these butt plugs. The silver aluminum is fine, but there are visible horizontal lines all over it. The jewel in the base, which apparently is lavender on all of them, looks about as good as the jewel in a ring from a 25-cent machine. Which is to say, gaudy and fake. More attractive than most butt plug bases, though.

I went with the 4″ version first, because I figured I could handle it. And I’m certain I would be able to, if not for that unnecessarily pointy tip. Seriously, why? Why pointy? What is the purpose? It doesn’t look good, and it definitely doesn’t feel good. Time and again, I slowly inserted the plug, hoping that this time it would not poke me. Each time, as I eased it fully inside my ass, I was greeted with a sensation of pain. Everything was fine until that last moment, at which the pointy end wreaked its havoc on me. I could not keep the plug in for any amount of time. I was annoyed.

Hearing my cries of discomfort, SexToy.com generously sent me the 3″ version. Still pointy, but shorter, I figured it would not hurt me. I was right; at 1″ shorter than the 4″ version (thank you, Captain Obvious), it does not reach far enough into my ass to poke me. Because of my trauma from the 4″ plug, though, I have a lingering fear that the 3″ plug will find a way to poke me somehow. I’ve been very careful so far, not sitting down quickly or anything, but I’m still worried.

Aluminum is a superb sex toy material because it retains temperature like crazy. Like glass or stainless steel, it will be cold upon first insertion if you do not warm it up. That would be nice on a hot day, but I prefer to run the plug under hot water before using it. The sensation of slowly easing a hot butt plug into my ass is amazing.

Once in, however, the Aluminum Mini 3″ is pretty unremarkable. It does its job; it sits there. It doesn’t move. The jewel doesn’t cut into my ass cheeks. Due to the weightiness of the aluminum, it makes its presence known. But its shape is generic, and so are the sensations it produces. Not awesome, not bad. Also (and it is entirely possible that this is all in my head, but…), I think I can feel the pointiness. And it is not nice.

I made the mistake of assuming that I could boil these, since they’re made of aluminum. NOPE. Don’t do it. The jewel quickly popped out of the base. Apparently the jewels just tend to pop out, though.

I don’t see myself wearing this butt plug very often simply because it doesn’t feel awesome. It may be shiny, weighty, and have a jewel in the base, but it feels like your average butt plug. With added pointiness, for… bonus fear?

Want a butt plug made of metal? You cannot get better than the njoy Pure Plugs.

  • Carrie Ann

    Short pointy plugs are ok. Long are bad. Long equals anything over four inches, in my book. But men seem to like them. No stats on that, no proof, just something I’ve sort of kind of noticed.

    My question is…

    If pointy, longish plugs are ouchie…

    What the FUCK do those long strings of barely bendable beads feel like? I’d run for cover if anyone tried to give me those.

  • Miss KissThis

    Is it bad that because of the lavender jewel, I randomlly thought this would be like the Pretty Pretty Princess (remember that game?) version of a butt plug?

    That must mean something is wrong with me. Tell me I’m not the only one!

  • Syntax

    Hey, maybe this is a butt plug for masochists, eh? Bonus fear and pain for those who love pain. On second thought, I AM a masochist, and I’d take a lot of things inside me before I’d try something metal and pointy… ouch.

  • @Carrie Ann: Yeah, it was definitely the length that ruined it.

    I have no idea about anal beads… I have yet to try any. I insist that they be very bendy. Or else.

  • @Miss KissThis: Can’t say I ever played that game, but I definitely saw the ridiculous commercials. And yes, you’re right.

  • Ugh…that 4″ one just looks painful… i shall remember to stay away from it..

  • Yeah, I’m a masochist and putting sharp pointy things in my butt = no.

  • Carnivalesq

    I really like your particular brand of snark when things are unpleasant.

    Bonus fear, ftw.

  • wendiana

    @Carrie Ann: I’ve got long bendy beads and find them interesting, pleasurable & sometime quite intense…it’s the ick factor of cleaning them after that I dread. They should make them cheap enough to be one-use disposable.

    Epiphora–I would have thought the pointy end would help with insertion–but after that–I think it would be just poking my innerds. lol.
    I’m attracted to the shiny aluminum but the plastic gem just makes me think of little girl’s cheap toys from the dollar store.

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  • Sascha Illyvich

    wow it sounds like you’ve had a hard time with anal plugs..heh

    I’ll keep searching your site for a good one 🙂

  • Selective Sensualist

    Can’t blame you being leery of pointy butt plugs. Especially one made of such a hard material . . . And no amount of pretty bling on the base will make up for a scary pointed tip either!

  • Bri

    Good to know that it’s a good idea to start with the shorter one. Pointy seems like a bad idea for any sex toy to me.

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