Oct 152009

HydraIf you have a stuffed-up nose and malfunctioning taste buds, Intimate Organics Hydra will seem completely perfect. It’s water-based, glycerin free, DEA free, and paraben free. It’s vegan. It has a truly perfect consistency: thin enough to feel effortless, thick enough not to drip off whichever toy I slather it on. It comes in a classy bottle, it works like a dream, and at $16 for 4 ounces, it’s a pretty good deal.

With a fully functioning nose and tongue, however, the downfalls of Hydra become clear. The taste is really rancid — like eating perfume. It has a medicinal, fake clean smell to it that reminds my boyfriend of ballpoint pen ink and reminds me of sanitary pads. A lot. While it could definitely smell worse, I think we can all agree that these are not the sexiest of smell associations. (I’m not sure it could taste much worse, though. Nobody wants to consume perfume.)

The weird thing about the strange smell is that everything else I own from Intimate Organics smells good. Adventure Anal Relaxing Spray? Potent, orange-based scent. Discover G-spot Gel? The expected peppermint. Energizing Foaming Bath? A delicious blend of ginger and orange. So I’m pretty sure my sense of smell is intact, and Hydra just smells weird.

Nonetheless, Hydra is my current lube, and I guess I’ll keep using it until it’s gone. Its consistency and lack of harmful ingredients sort-of make up for its whacked out smell and horrific taste. I guess.

[Good news: I’ve now found a lube line that I love dearly: Sliquid. Everything else is dead to me.]

  • I totally get that, dude. I love this stuff, but it’s got a strange smell, and I have been too chicken shit to taste it! Ball point pen ink! That’s it!

  • Submissive_D

    The ball point pen ink smell is PERFECT if you’re into “dirty office sex” roleplay! (or just plain old “dirty office sex”)!

  • My husband loved the feel of this but it’s too thin and sticky for me. I have to go smell my bottle now LOL

  • Backseat Boohoo

    All IO products seem to have that rank, nasty taste. It’s a shame, because their lotion smells beautiful, but as soon as somebody would kiss your skin, they’d get a mouthful of soapy flavor. Uck.

  • Toygirl

    When I tasted it, I put the tiniest dab on my finger and took the tiniest lick. I’m a huge wuss.

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  • Polly Vincere

    I have this lube and I love it. I don’t really spend a lot of time tasting it, but when I have it’s not been that bad. Mine doesn’t have a smell either.
    I can’t believe I didn’t know you reviewed this before now. I’m happy I’m catching up on your reviews this way. 🙂

  • sophie2229

    And to think I almost bought this. I turned away because people say it smells like roses, which I hate. I went with a Sliquid Organics one instead. Wish me luck?

  • Selective Sensualist

    Is this still your favorite lube? I tend to get UTIs and yeast infections easily, so I try to stay away from glycerin and parabens (though I’m not sure I’m allergic to parabens — I just avoid them to be on the safe side).

    I noticed you have the Sliquid Organic Gel on your list. I currently use that one, but am always on the lookout for something better. Any suggestions?

  • @Selective Sensualist: Nope, this one has fallen by the wayside since I discovered Sliquid. I love both Sassy and H20. I haven’t tried the Sliquid Organics Gel yet because I am slow.

  • Bri

    I’m always on the hunt for the *perfect* lube, but I want one that isn’t going to make me gag when I smell or taste it. That elusive perfect balance of consistency, body safe materials, and smell/taste continues to keep outta reach!

  • True Pleasures

    Funny thing is, it seems like all the IO lubes have the same funky smell. Aside from already having this one, I was given 4 others by the company to try. To my disappointment, they all have that same smell. It’s like a sour old lady smell to me. You know, that stale, flowery, slightly medicinal smell? Ick…

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  • Destiny Cat

    I used astroglide, and loved it for a long time, until i got some in my mouth, good lord that was horrid

  • Saffron Burke

    I got a small bottle of this, and a handful of other water-based, glycerin- and paraben-free lubes at a local sex shop to try out, and this was at the bottom of my list after trying them. It dried too quickly, and left a flaky residue that I hated.

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