May 312010

Dearest Turbo Glider,

Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things between us are nothing like they used to be. I understand if you feel neglected; I barely get you out from the drawer at all. The truth is, my clit now prefers less buzzy, more unique toys. But don’t cry; you will always be in my heart. I will always remember you fondly as my first true sex toy love.

It was February of 2007, and I was in search of something cheap to get me off. I picked you up from the mail room at college and for a solid year afterward, you were my only sex toy. I only used you clitorally, and I thought of nothing else. What else was there to want? Something quieter, sure, but that wasn’t a huge issue. Besides, quietness usually means less power, and I could never sacrifice the power you afforded me.

OH, THE POWER! It’s still hard to find this much power in a clitoral stimulator. Expensive toys like the Mia, the Bcurious, and the Better than Chocolate don’t even come close.

And there are other things I love about you, too, Turbo Glider. You are BLUE, not hot pink or purple. And I love your translucency, which allows me to watch your little motor whirl away. I love your shape — the bloops! — and how your tip sits against my clit perfectly. And I love that you really are waterproof; several unsatisfying bathtime romps with other toys have led to me yell at the boyfriend, “bring the blue one!”

You are a trooper, Turbo Glider, and that is why I appreciate you. I am certain that you are the best sex toy out there for $20 (and often less!).  For that, I will continue recommending you like crazy. I may have outgrown you for most occasions, but that doesn’t make you any less awesome.

Love always,

Get the Turbo Glider (under various names) at one of my fave shops:
SheVibeBabeland, Good Vibes, Early to Bed, Pleasure Chest, or Come As You Are (Canada).

  • Aw, I love this! I want to write love letters to my old, not-used-very-often sex toys someday!

  • MissMarguerite

    I wish I could have written a Dear John letter to my first one and told him that he tried to ruin me for the rest of the future toys. Good twist on the love letters.

  • Garnet Joyce

    I recommend this one to a lot of 1st timers so glad to hear that it has your stamp of approval.

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  • JenB

    I bought one of these last month because of your review!

    It is a nice little vibe. It’s not my favorite (that prize goes to Adam & Eve’s Blue Dolphin vibe…OMG, mine’s still blowing my mind after 3 years), but it’s nice. So thanks. 🙂

  • Polly Vincere

    Okay, Okay already. I’ll get one! I know I’ve made excuses, but really they are lame.

  • Trix

    Oh, I adore this toy. But I’m stunned that you limit it its use to the clit! The tip feels amazing for nipple play, or pinpoint sensation anywhere. It’s also fun to run the length of it along your inner thighs or labia; the material is so smooth, but the bumps add nice texture, which gives a great contrast. And of course, if you’re using a plug or dildo, you can always touch the tip to the base for a good strong buzz (sometimes I still do this even though I have a vibrating dildo). Sigh…

  • Selective Sensualist

    Would you recommend this vibe to someone with a more advanced collection? (I’ve got LELO, FunFactory, and JimmyJane vibes). It’s intriguing that an inexpensive vibrator could be so powerful!

  • @Selective Sensualist: I’d say it’s just a good vibe to have around in case frustration from other vibes arises.

  • namelesschaos

    This is awesome makes me want to write a letter to my one of my first Fleshlight. “I’m sorry but things aren’t working out between us I’m sorry but your plain smooth texture just doesn’t do it, I’m sure you would make some one else very happy but now that I’ve met your friend the swallow texture…”

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  • Bri

    I can’t count the number of times I’ve considered buying the turbo glider. Everything you said about it’s looks are true. It’s so pretty and affordable. I should just buy it already. The format of this review is unique and cute too, love it!

  • Sarah Marlatt

    This review always makes me laugh. Thank you for making my day, Epiphora.

  • Aw. Y’all are so cute together.

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  • Charlotte

    So glad I own this one! Great vibe.

  • After reading this, I just snagged one of these off Amazon for $13.99 and free shipping!!

    I’m looking forward to using something with more power than watch batteries. Thanks for the info. 🙂

  • lesparrow

    This was my first sex toy, and I’m sososoooo glad that someone else loves it at much as me. The bloops are fantastic!

  • Dan

    So I bought this little cutie based on this letter, and uh…
    I may have given myself a concussion from getting too enthusiastic with it, heh. Just a word of warning to prospective buyers: orgasms will be fantastic, but potentially dangerous.

  • Robin McClanahan

    I feel the same way. I think I have used three Turbo Gliders into the ground. My most recent one just died. Time to re-up!

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