Jul 302010
 

This one comes to us from the thoughtfully-titled Pound the Round 2. If you have sensitive teeth, click away now.

STEPS FOR GETTING A GIRL’S MOUTH AND POPSICLE ON YOUR PENIS

1. Randomly whip out your popsicle, calling it an “ice cream” — that was on purpose — and immediately take things too far by poking her genitals with it. And making an ass/popsicle sandwich. Watch it melt all over the chick in red streaks. Oh yeah, hot.

Sandwich.

2. While the girl fondles your enormous cock, slowly introduce another popsicle. The clueless female will hardly notice. You so stealthy.

Teehee.

3. Bask in the sensation as the girl sucks both your cock and the popsicle. (Sidenote: in Australia, popsicles are called iceblocks. Therefore, ICECOCK!)

Aw hell yeah.

AAAAND LIFE COMPLETE.

  • C

    Ha! Wise words of wisdom 😉 …Fun feature idea. I like it!

  • VanillaKinks

    I hope that shit doesn’t stain her white pants/shorts.

    I’d be pissed if it did!

  • Yeast infections for everyone! So sexy.

  • @quizzical pussy: That’s what I was thinking. Also, a cock big enough to cause serious pain and probable injury to my cervix and vagina: not the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Cooper Beckett

    Sometimes I really just don’t get porn. Hmm. why would you want anything so dames cold touching your cock?

  • Gahhh, any time I see some kind of sweet confectionery near genitals makes my own vagina cry.

  • Three things…

    One – She has a very hot looking ass! (minus the melting red popsicle liquid)
    Two – YEAST infection on the way
    Three – Shrinkage (making me think of the Seinfeld episode – HAHAHAHA)

    Oh hell.. Four – What’s with some of the names they use for porn movies???? WTF

  • F. D.

    I’m with Vanilla Kinks. Though, my first thought was “ooh pretty popsicle.. on her fuckin’ asshole?”. Then I’m like… “her white shorts are getting all stained!”. 😉

  • Bob

    LOL porn…

    Let’s hope that there aren’t any angry bees or wasps around.

  • …I think I have a yeast infection from just looking at that.

  • Polly Vincere

    the verdict here is that “Popsicle play” would “probably give me ‘ewww-dick'” which is apparently a “frat bro term to describe pornography that is so vulgar or disgusting that will prevent you from getting a boner or if you do get a boner it makes you feel disgusting & nasty – you know, ‘ewww'”
    I just made him quote it several times to get the exact wording.
    An evening just isn’t complete without “ewww-dick” and “boner” around here. lol
    😉

  • I am never going to be able to look at one of those ice lollies the same again.

    xoxox

  • The only thing popsicles like that are good for (in sex, I mean) is putting in some pretty sub Twink’s ass. Not on women. Yeast infection city. Ew. I’m cringing at the thought… that’s just.. not.. right

  • Sex Toy Sarah

    I definitely wouldn’t want a melting popsicle anywhere near my vagina.

    Sucking on one while giving head, that’s another matter 😉

  • Polly Vincere

    Now I think of this every time I hear “California Girls”
    “So hot we’ll melt your Popsicle”
    hahahahaha!!!!

  • This looks hilarious! Love the Pornfail, hope to see more 🙂

  • namelesschaos

    Maybe this is just because I got my alien fleshlight in the mail today and I got “alien on the brain but does that last pic look like she is sucking a human cock and some weird multi-colored alien creatures dick to anyone else?…Just me I thought so.

  • Selective Sensualist

    Um, yeah . . . all I could think about while looking at that was “YEAST INFECTION,” too. Hope they paid her really well.

  • Kisses and Kinks

    Lol. Love the porn fail. Also, really like your blog. 🙂

  • snikker…

    gods… what will they think of next?

    pizza porn?

    *giggles*

    puta youra pepperoni righta heah…

    egads!

    nilla

  • Tzipora

    OMG, I seriously read in what was otherwise probably the best lesbian erotica collection I’ve found as a whole (and eh, I’m a lesbian erotica writer and connoisseur so I’m picky lol) a story… And okay yeah its fiction but still! That involved a whole lengthy popsicle thing. Popsicle on clit, rubbed along vulva and yes, popsicle in vagina, melting during penetration. The couple went through a bunch of them and may have even shared said popsicle between them at one point. Yiiikes. I was too busy thinking “oh no, oh no! Sugar + vag! Sugar + vag. Abort mission!” to find that story remotely arousing and gah, you have to figure at least some people would read that and think hey, that’s hot! I wanna go play with popsicles now. And gah just no. No. There’s nothing sexy about giving yourself or your partner an infection! Bacteria and fungus (yeast is a fungus not a bacteria so woot maybe you can score BV and a yeast infection at the same time! Ugh!) But yeah bacteria and yeast thrive on sugar more than anything else so of all the gosh dang foods too… *shivers*

  • Leelee

    I don’t mean to be a pain, but in Australia, we don’t call them ice blocks, we call them icey poles. New Zealanders call them ice blocks.

  • Tell that to my Australian friend who told me about the term. 🙂

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