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Review: Two

Wet for Her silicone finger extender
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The Wet for Her Two is… um, actually, what is it? Is it a dildo? A sleeve? Should I call it a “finger extender”? I don’t know. It’s just… long silicone fingers with a hole in the end for human fingers. The first 3 inches or so of the toy are hollow, leaving the last 2 inches solid.

The Two comes in a semi-classy oversized cardboard box with a plastic window. The back of the box features an awkward black and white photo of two fingers resting strategically atop a boob, concealing the nipple. The dildo itself sits in a rectangular foam cut-out, and is not wrapped or sealed in any way. When I opened mine, the dildo was covered in little white fuzzies. It went straight to the sink.

One aside before I get into the toy. I feel the need to address the way this company, Wet for Her, chooses to market the Two. This is probably translated from French, but the box says:

Wet for Her is the lesbian company who have created the first and original lesbian sextoy. Our concept is that when a girl couple wants to introduce a toy in their sexual relationship they use a regular toy which is not shaped or designed to represent our sexuality. Now more than ever the lesbian community is coming out. We have chosen a theme which gives us an opportunity to keep developing our world. Our sexuality is our common point.

Things wrong with this paragraph:

  1. First lesbian sex toy. Really.
  2. “Girl couple.” This is probably a bad translation from French, but still. Women. WOMEN.
  3. “Not shaped or designed to represent our sexuality.” So all the lesbian-identified people who use cock-shaped dildos are doin’ it wrong? Sorry, sexuality is not cut and dry.

Okay, I get it — you’re lesbians and you’re REALLY EXCITED that you made a finger extender. Doesn’t mean that non-lesbians don’t have fingers. Or vaginas. I just don’t get this kind of marketing. Why alienate anyone who doesn’t identify as a lesbian, when you could instead play up the fact that most people HAVE FINGERS? It boggles the mind.

That said, let me contradict myself. While my boyfriend does have fingers, it’s not often I want to be fingered. Other things, like dildos and cocks, hit my G-spot better. So I suppose I was hoping the Two would be so amazing that I’d suddenly love being fingered.

Nope.

But that doesn’t mean it sucks. It’s just for very particular people (no, not just lesbians!). It’s for people who are really into the concept of fingering. If you masturbate by inserting a few fingers and thrusting (and probably aren’t reading this blog…), this toy is awesome. It extends the fingers nicely and makes fingering one’s self far more comfortable.

If, however, you are me, sex toy fiend Epiphora, the Two gets in the way. If I wear it on my fingers, my hand gets in the way of my clit, and clit obstruction is just not tolerated around these parts. I can grasp it without putting my fingers in it, but that’s awkward and messy.

It hits my G-spot marginally well. I feel it the most when I leave it stationary and clench around it. Strangely, thrusting with it produces only mild G-spot sensations — I think because it’s just not big enough to put adequate pressure on my G-spot. I did squirt a little with it, once, because I was clenching it while I came, but I can squirt at the drop of a hat these days.

The Two is made of 100% silicone, which is not exactly a replica of human skin, so it does feel somewhat synthetic in use. The shape is a decent representation of fingers, but it won’t fool anyone. The entire length of my fingers fits into the Two snugly. My boyfriend has larger fingers, though, and the Two only fits halfway down his fingers.

When my boyfriend used the Two on me, it was lackluster. It feels like a toy, not like real fingers, and thrusting didn’t do much for me at all. Wearing a silicone sheath over one’s fingers also dulls the sensation of fingering someone, which may take away from the ~intimacy~ of fingering, if that is important to you. And as you might imagine, making the Two do your bidding is a lot harder than making your own fingers do your bidding (e.g., you can’t curl your fingers much while using the Two).

The Two is a great idea, and I’m glad it exists. It does a decent job of extending the fingers comfortably. But — despite what its creators believe — its target audience is a small one. In any case, Halloween is coming up, and I can think of more than a few awesome, non-sex ways this toy could be used. They mostly involve scaring children, which I fully endorse at any and all times.

Get the Wet for Her Two at Peepshow Toys or directly from Wet for Her.