Aug 172011

I emailed Tantus last week because someone bought stuff on their site through my affiliate link, but the sale didn’t show up in my affiliate control panel. I was directed to Jenna, whom I’ve had a lovely time emailing back-and-forth with. To my great surprise, our conversation turned into a chat about what colors of sex toys I like/loathe1, and how I don’t own any dual-density O2 toys from Tantus. Little did I know what would come next.

Tantus is a small company with a limited budget, but somehow, Jenna pulled some strings and sent me a box of goodies that is going to single-handedly wipe out all the rest of my sex toy storage space.

My jaw. It dropped.

Seriously, I felt like a celeb as I opened this box. This is, like, a once-in-a-blogger’s-lifetime package. I opened the box slowly, savoring every wonderful inclusion:

  • Two packets of “Grow Your Own Dildo Tree” seeds2
  • A deliciously subtle shirt that says Not Your Mama’s Treehugger
  • Two butt plugs: Bronco and Cody
  • O2 Revolution, a dildo I’ve wanted for ages!
  • The newly-released Cush O2 (update: I adore it)
  • Mikey O2 and Adam O2
  • Three yet-to-be released dildos, all of which are large, and one of which is terrifyingly massive (update: I can now name them! They are the Luke O2, Max O2, and — oh god — T-Rex.)

Holy crap, Tantus. Way to make a girl (and her vagina) feel special. Also, practically all the toys are big. I see what you did there. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Extremely preliminary tests reveal that the O2 Revolution, Cush O2, Mikey O2, and Max O2 are all superb. And I’m not just saying that! Unfortunately, I have a lot on my “to review” plate right now, but some of these need to be reviewed, so that I may shout from the rooftops how awesome they are.

Thanks again, Jenna and Tantus. Y’all are too much!

See all my favorite Tantus toys here!

  1. You better believe I have an insanely neurotic opinion about this! []
  2. No, I have no idea what they are. There is no info on the packets. I have to PLANT THEM AND FIND OUT. []
  • Insanely jealous! I can’t wait to read what you think about them!

  • bri

    I haven’t tried the O2 products yet either. Can’t wait to read how they measure up!

    2. I want the Cush O2 super bad.
    3. I can’t wait to find out what a dildo tree is.

  • @Britni TheVadgeWig: Definitely bigger, but that’s a good thing!

  • That. Is. Awesome. How wonderful and generous of them!

    I have had a couple of Tantus products on my wishlist for a while, so I am looking forward to the reviews! 😀

    I have strong feelings about sex toy colors, so I am behind you on that one. That’s why I tend to gravitate toward glass/acrylic toys or steel. I can’t go wrong with those. <3

  • Wow you are a rock star and Tantus take the cake on being awesome.

  • Wow Tantus definitely are very generous, looking forward to reading your reviews on them.
    I have never tried any tantus products yet, but I love the look of the Mikey 02, gorgeous curves.

    Er what is a dildo tree… every girl’s dream…?
    Keep up the great work Epiphora.

  • the dildo tree might be seeds to a palm similar to this guy:

    i’ve seen them in florida. i don’t know if they’d grow up further north, unless you’ve got a greenhouse. but still. whee!

  • Wow, what an awesome gesture – we just got the Cush in stock – it’s got me curious…can’t wait to hear about this mission!

  • Joyce C.

    Wow!! What a haul!!! And you just HAVE to keep us updated on that dildo tree you will be growing! I tried to Google Dildo Tree Seeds and got nothing. Majorly curious now!

  • Dusk

    You LUCKY thing!

  • txymxy

    Holy freaking jealous! I was very curious what the O2 Max and Luke were all about when I spotted them in your toybox list. Soo excited to hear about this madness.

  • Michele

    OMG that is too awesome, like Christmas in August! And please do let us know what grows from the Dildo Tree seeds… my inquiring mind is nosy (lol)

  • CLP

    Grow your own dildo tree?! This sounds too good to be true. Is this a sexier version of a pyramid scheme?
    It wouldn’t matter. I’m in for the win.
    Can’t wait to hear more about the new releases!

  • Tuesday

    That is so awesome. Mikey and the Revolution are wonderful.

    The dildo seed packets have real seeds in them? If so show me a pic of them. I might be able to tell what they are.

  • Teagan Shepard

    Jenn told me what the seeds were in a convo a while back. It’ll be fun. 🙂 I’m quite jealous!

  • macho99

    that’s like 30 pounds worth of dildos right there. like everyone else here *jealous*

  • How awesome!

  • Amazing! You are a sex toy rockstar & I am officially lusting after the O2 Cush! Can’t wait for the reviews.

  • Trix

    Congrats on the haul, wow! I’m curious about how the Adam 02 compares to the Vixen Mustang texture-wise (I can wait if you’d rather not spoil your upcoming reviews). Does one seem more lifelike to you than the other? Plus, Tantus has always said that their regular silicone toys are okay with silicone lube (not that I’d risk the interaction anyway, but it’s good to know I’d have the option if I had to)…do they say if the O2 silicone won’t interact with it?

  • @Trix: The Adam has a matte texture to it that is okay but not as good as the texture of VixSkin (which I don’t know how to describe…). Plus Adam is very uniform in texture, whereas Mustang has random veins and stuff. More than that, though, the Mustang’s head is more enjoyable. Adam’s is not defined enough. Life-like? Eh, I dunno, Mustang probably wins that race, since penises are not matte.

    I think Tantus’ official stance on silicone lube is “try it first,” and with O2 I’d especially agree with them. It’s definitely more risky with O2.

  • Are you going to plant the dildo seeds? If so, please post an update. I’m extremely curious now.

  • I’m really damn curious now as to what colours you do like and hate! Have you ever written about it? (I did a quick search but didn’t come up with anything) Would love to know, if you ever get the chance, since I have some pretty strong opinions about it too. 🙂

  • @Blacksilk: Ha, haven’t written about it yet, no. I do have a draft about why I hate the color pink. But…

    Colors I love: orange, green, yellow, sky blues
    Colors I am fine with: red, black, darker blues, skin tones, white
    Colors I do not like: pink, purple

  • @Epiphora: Heh, I’m not surprised that your “do not like” colours are the same as mine (I actually really like a good purple as a colour, just not really for toys).

    I’ve been meaning for aaages (ever since I found out my first rabbit had a FACE under the glans so it looks like a creepy mushroom man) to write a post about terrible sex toy aesthetics, mostly bitching about cutesyness, faces, pink, flowers and glitter. I should really get round to that.

  • DuchessofSquee

    I’d love a big box like that to turn up on my doorstep one day! *dreams*

  • Danielle

    Hi, I have a Randy and like you I also love to use it with my Eroscillator!!! I am curious about the T-Rex. How does it compare to the Randy? I know it is a bit longer, but is it as thick? Which is more fun to use?

  • @Danielle: Oh god, I do not recommend the T-Rex. I have only tried it once — or should I say, attempted to try it. It took a lot of work to even get it in my vagina… it actually felt a little bit like it was going to tear my perineum it was so big. I did not enjoy it at all. I guess the T-Rex and Randy are technically the same diameter, but the big difference is that the T-Rex is made of solid, very hard silicone, whereas the Randy (mine anyway) is covered in softer VixSkin. The head on the T-Rex is much more extreme as well. To me it is no contest. The Randy is amazing and the T-Rex is terrifying. I do need to try it again, but I’m dreading it. So there ya go.

  • Tzipora

    So… Did you ever grow your Dildo trees? Inquiring minds are still waiting to hear back on this.

    Also, I envision a sex positive family or some Tantus employees in the future when the dildo tree is big and tall (hahaha the puns) and the children are playing beneath it and the former sex blogger or Tantus employee gathers the kids around and is all “Let me tell you the story of this here dildo tree…” Think of the legacy. Also I legit wish dildos actually grew on trees. That’d be pretty damn awesome. People would be cultivating them the way those professional pot grows mix strains to achieve perfection… Like I want this tree to grow orange, textured, g spot curved dildos…

    I’m gonna stop dreaming about the dildo tree now. But did you ever plant them?!

/* ]]> */