Nov 062016
 

The B.J. dildoLet’s start with the most amazing news in recent history: THERE IS FINALLY A NEW BLOWJOB DILDO. Some of you might remember Mr. Man, which has been out of production for ~7 years. This new take is similar: hollow in the middle, with an opening on each end to transfer suction from the head to the wearer’s genitals. Right now it can be found at Early to Bed and She Bop. I’ll also be reviewing it, once I put it through its paces.

We-Vibe SyncI’m notoriously Not That Into “couples” toys like the We-Vibe, but even this jaded bitch over here can appreciate the changes they’ve made in the We-Vibe Sync. It now has two points of adjustment to fit a wider range of anatomies.

I don’t even have to find a clever way to say this because the mere fact is strange enough: biodegradable vibrators.

Dame FinToday in hipster sex toy videos, Dame Products (makers of the cringe-inducing Eva) are crowdfunding a toy that you hold between your fingers. It has 3 speeds because apparently more would hurt our brains, and there’s a moment in the video that gives me serious flashbacks to the shit orb video, in which they claim all these toys are too “awkward”:

Screencap from the Dame Fin crowdfunding campaign video

STOP. COMING. FOR. MY. EROSCILLATOR. How many times do I have to say it?!

…Okay. Breathe and look at these delightfully swirly new unicorn tail butt plugs from Crystal Delights.

Buck Off sleeveAlso: the Buck Off is one of the first1 masturbation sleeves specifically designed for trans guys! The Bro Sleeve, which my friend reviewed for me, was not marketed to the trans community and didn’t provide suction unless altered, so I’m pretty excited about this development!*

*even though Buck Angel is problematic

Fun Factory has a new paddle/dildo hybrid called Bück Dich (which means “bend over” in German). Hmm, sounds a lot like the Tantus Plunge, but I guess there’s room for two paddle dildos?

It can be Halloween all year long for your penis with these terrifying new sleeves from Fleshlight:

Fleshlight Freaks

Finally, the Element MS looks like a sleek vibrating penis sleeve but its description begins “move aside ladies, it’s his turn,” which makes me want to rip the computer from the hands of whoever wrote that and drop it into the ocean. With an anchor attached.

This edition of “Sex toy news” appeared originally in my email newsletter,
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  1. Not the first ever, as there are similar products from FTM Pitstop, Frisky Beast, and A Krow’s Nest. []
  • Dandemort

    The best part about the Dame comparison is that they literally are not comparing it to a single similar toy. How are the Satisfyer and Eroscillator even remotely in the same class?

  • tonyinabag

    thank you for pointing out the problematic shit re: buck angel. I would love to try the buckout, but knowing he was involved in the creation makes me really not want to buy it. 🙁

  • Rissa

    I’m really excited to try it. I do not know of anywhere to recycle toys anymore, and I cringed throwing an old broken vibe out a couple months ago. Plus, MSRP of $14.30 is really exciting for a budget restricted person like me.

  • AceDenise

    Seems to me that if a person wants to use a finger vibrator, they might already be the type who only needs fingers to orgasm and that toy just adds a slightly different sensation to what those people already do. Anybody who needs more than just their hands to get off (like me and lots of others) probably won’t get much from some indirect, muffled vibrations through the fingers. And I know I hate excessive vibrations in my fingers unless its coming from a Tango. This crap from Dame is also a bit ableist, saying that all those other longer, handled toys are hard to use. I’m a plus size gal and it’s hard enough for me to reach the spot I need with just a tiny thing on my short fingers. What about people with grip issues or just if you get hand/wrist cramps? What if you have to hold it in place for more than 5 minutes? The Dame Fin reminds me a little of that Healthy Strokes guy and his obsession with hands-only masturbation. No thanks, now back the fuck off my Eroscillator! And my Adventure!

  • AceDenise

    Also, I don’t understand how a vibrator can be biodegradable and body safe at the same time. Wouldn’t it at least be porous? And what stops it from starting to “degrade” while it’s in your body, which is a moist environment? And potentially leaking some unknown substance into the body while it slowly dissolves into some mystery goo? What about the motor? I doubt that part is “biodegradable”. So much WTF going on here- I can’t even. All I can say for that thing is that at least the colors are pretty.

  • AceDenise

    Yeah, I thought that was funny too. Why are they comparing it to completely different toys? If I’m a customer who’s already shopping for a longer, handled vibe, or something with a lot of power, I won’t even look at a dinky finger vibe. Maybe they’re targeting people (or their insecure partners) who are “afraid” of vibrators.

  • No, it’s hard plastic but it’s a plastic made from corn which isn’t unheard of. It’s just not been used for sex toys. It’s not going to break down while you’re using it, it just means that (unlike most plastics) it will eventually degrade in the landfill. As for the motor, and batteries, no I’m sure they’re not and one would HOPE they’d include directions for you on how to separate the parts into recyclable bits and non-recyclable bits, but who knows. But, again, it’s a hard plastic and it’s not going to leak anything.

  • From what I read, it’s a corn-based plastic.

  • AceDenise

    Oh, ok. I had no idea how that could work, thank you for the explanation Lilly. I still get the impression that instructing buyers on how to disassemble an old vibe to seperate the recycleable parts when they’re ready to toss it seems like more effort than any company would put in for a $15 toy. So I still have my doubts as to whether its truly 100% biodegradable (the motor at least). I’m not convinced I’d want a vibrator that’s designed to fall apart eventually (even if only in compost). I wish there were more options to recycle regular plastic and silicone toys. It would be nice if you could just drop them off at a local sex shop like with your used motor oil at an auto repair shop.

  • marsh

    How long ago was the TPR Buck Off released? Because there’s legit silicone masturbators for transguys that have been around for a year now. The Pocket Snowbird by Frisky Beast was released last November, and The Eel by A Krows Nest was designed by a transguy, for transguys.

    (Neither of them really work for me, but I suspect that’s more to do with sleeves being like rabbits for me- incompatible with my personal anatomy, which is super sensitive and tends towards genital pain- than the toys themselves.)

  • Yes! And it would be so easy to be like “most finger vibes suck” because that’s ACTUALLY TRUE

  • Up until the release of the Buck Off, I was not aware of any similar products because I don’t keep abreast of Etsy and fantasy sex toy makers, but you are correct — it’s not the first, it’s one of the first (which is the wording I used here on purpose). Perhaps it would be more accurate to say it’s one of the first more widely-available sleeves of that type.

  • Those are the most joyous stingrays I’ve ever seen!

  • Yeah, I don’t blame you. Luckily there are similar products like the Shotpocket and Snowbird. If you ever try any of those, I’d love to hear about your experience!

  • Minx Charlestown

    We got to see the Bück Dich at a recent trade show, and ‘oh, like tantus!’ was the first thing we said! It is different, though; it has a hard core inside, so it doesn’t flop, and the two sides of the paddle have different textures. It actually looks quite cool!

  • AmberHyena

    That Fin vibrator looks more awkward to hold than a normal bullet or handled toy :/ Not surprised that its from the same people as the Eva, another toy that looked unbearably awkward to me despite advertising itself as being less awkward. (Also that video is one of the most hipster things I’ve ever seen.)

  • Dandemort

    Indeed. I also hate the tendency to denigrate other toys that are otherwise great quality and innovative. It is possible to need a good finger vibe in your life and also like your Eroscillator. Like, these aren’t mutually exclusive and having to drag respected brands and tech through the mud especially when – again – it’s saying “get this surfboard instead of this sedan. It’s better because reasons” is really unfortunate.

    It is OK to have more than one toy!

  • Elizabeth M

    I’m pretty excited about the We-Vibe Sync. It lists four speeds so it presumably has the same motor as the Touch, and I actually really want a hands-free vibe for solo masturbation. I mean, I usually want one hand to hold the vibe, one hand to thrust a dildo if I’m using one, one hand to scroll through the porn I’m reading… and I’m already up to three hands. Usually it’s the dildo, and thus any possibility of g-spot stimulation, that gets cut. Plus, I could use it with a strap-on, and the app might be fun to play with, and the color is really adorable… I’m optimistic, at least.

    Also, that blowjob dildo. I’ve wanted it ever since I saw it on Early to Bed. Simulated oral was pretty hot even with a normal dildo – one where I can actually get some stimulation sounds incredible.

  • AceDenise

    Yes, I described them as “dinky finger vibrators” because they are terrible- for ME- and I stand behind that. At least how it applies to me personally. I don’t mean to say they all suck for everyone. It’s tempting to say that but I’m trying to be fair. And if I did ever find one that had the power of a Tango or Touch I might reconsider. I am still learning to be clearer when I make online comments! Some people may need or want that kind of stimulation, but I’m not one of them. And it’s very misleading for Dame to compare the Fin to other toys of completely different types, motors, and power levels. That more than anything else makes me suspicious of their product. I’m inclined not to trust them when companies try to criticize well-known or popular toys (in order to sell their own) without legitimate reasons, or an actual side-by-side comparison of specific features. Doxy does the comparison thing correctly with their chart comparing them to other large wands, listing things like RPMs, number of settings, etc.

  • FieryRed

    Another problematic thing about the Buck-Off is that the manufacturer insists it’s made of a TPR/silicone blend, which to my knowledge is not possible – nor would there be any point to blending the materials, since it would be porous. The manufacturer also seems not to be knowledgeable about sex toy materials, since he’s not aware that silicone can be soft.

  • Jasper J Moon

    My honey will sell you his. 😉

  • Minx Charlestown

    We have the Sync now, and We-Vibe have confirmed that it doesn’t have the same motor as the Tango/Touch. It is a lot stronger than the We-Vibe 4 Plus, though, and still quite rumbly. I’ve used mine with the Fun Factory Share, and it was pretty awesome for hands-free fun!

  • I like the We-Vibe Sync so far. The motor is really nice and powerful. However, in terms of comfort, I still prefer the Dusk + Tango for hands-free stimulation.

  • vintage.android

    Forget no knowledge of sex toy materials; anyone walking through the kitchen section at Walmart will find tons of soft silicone items, thus demonstrating that it is A Thing That Exists.

  • Leah

    I got the BJ and I like it except for the fact that it SQUEAKS. Like against my teeth. And it’s very distracting for me and my partner. Any advice??

  • FieryRed

    Well, VixSkin is even softer than that…but yes, good point!

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