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Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

Unveiling my blog re-design — a complete overhaul from the ground up, months in the making.

My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

TODAY IS THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DAY, PEEPS! The day I’ve been fantasizing about for months — nah, let’s round that up to years. It’s the official unveiling of my all-new, fancy-ass, fresh-as-fuck blog design!!! (I reckon I’ve earned those extra exclamation points. The laws of grammar don’t apply to this level of excitement!!)

Now, you can finally see the fruits of my labor after many months of behind-the-scenes work. From the color palette to the header photo to the sidebar and the posts themselves, virtually nothing has gone untouched with this blog overhaul. I’ve been so immersed in this project that my brain has become a blur of CSS markup. (I wrote over 500 lines of CSS code, like a complete maniac.)

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.


New features and upgrades!

  • Responsive design adapts to your devices
  • Feature-rich homepage showcases both new and old content
  • Restructured categories — most posts now fit into one of four primary categories (reviews, banter, guides, and features), all of which have subcategory dropdowns
  • New category, Greatest Hits, for my best work
  • Updated color palette, still devoid of any and all pink
  • Simplified, visually appealing menu
  • Slick subscription box with responsive new post emails
  • Bigger, more readable text with more room to breathe
  • Cute, meticulously-chosen fonts (including one that, I shit you not, is also used by Taco Bell. I chose it before I knew that, but HOW PERFECT?!)
  • Streamlined sidebar with consolidated banner ads
  • Cool image hover effect
  • Gorgeous featured images — who knew my photos were so pretty?!
  • Post subheadlines! For quick quips and teasers! Each post also includes an estimate of how many minutes of your life you will waste enrich by reading it!
  • Tons of inline content styling, including drop caps, block quotes, pull quotes, alerts, and dividers
  • End-of-content related posts that are actually related!1
  • Many older posts have been updated with modern formatting and higher-quality photos, with more to come as I continue slogging through the archives
  • New FAQ answer to the burning question of the century, “what’s your curly hair routine?
  • Just the general feeling that this is a fuckin’ PROFESSIONAL BLOG

Of course I have many more plans for tweaks and upgrades in the future, starting approximately tomorrow, but I’m very happy with everything that has already been implemented. This is a much more solid foundation than I’ve ever had, and it will allow me to pursue my ideas with wild abandon. A person’s blog is never truly done.


A peek behind the curtain

Designing a website is hard when you can’t picture it. That’s what I struggled with most in the early stages of this process. I pelted my graphic designer, Katie Swick, with words I wanted my site to evoke: trustworthy, snarky, modern, fun, queer, playful yet professional. What did all of that look like in actuality? I hadn’t a damn clue.

But then one day, during a meeting with Katie to finalize my new logo, I had an idea for the header image. The logo she’d designed had this cool upward angle to it, and it reminded me of a newspaper headline. I wanted to make that literal. Snap a photo as if someone was sitting down to read the morning paper, only the news is ALL ABOUT DILDOS.

I was a journalism nerd in high school, so it felt like just the right amount of nostalgia.

From-above shot of a newspaper, with a cup of coffee, a platter with cookies, and sex toys all around.
An early mock-up header image I shot, feat. the Willamette Week and TREFOILS.

Katie hooked me up with a photographer, Sierra Selene, and we started discussing the shoot. It was obvious to me what the backdrop should be: some sort of vaguely vulva-like pattern, as an ode to a) vulvas in general, and b) all the inadvertently-vulvaesque wallpaper I’ve encountered in hotel rooms.

You haven’t lived until you’ve called up a wallpaper store to cautiously ask them if they have any patterns that resemble vulvas.

My dining room table, covered in baking pans containing dildos and vibrators. The vulva backdrop is leaning against a wall in the back.
Baking pans make great sex toy separators, it turns out.
Close up of baking pans containing dildos and vibrators.

Giving readers cues to my queerness was one of my design goals, but a very amorphous one. I hired an all-queer design team hoping the gay would just seep into everything, but I also featured the gorgeous Inclusion Harness in the header. You know, just in case. There was a funny moment during the photoshoot when I asked Sierra to rearrange the harness because it looked too much like an O-ring gag. “I don’t review BDSM stuff, so I don’t want to confuse people…”

Cute little donuts from Pip's and a mug that reads "fuck" in cursive.

We complemented the sex toys with a pin in the shape of Sara Quin’s cat and a bite-sized donut from Pip’s with seasonal apricot topping. When my mom saw the header photo, she exclaimed, “nipple donut!!!” That was not my intention, but I will absolutely act like it was from here on out. (Meanwhile, the cat pin was definitely meant to be a clitoris.)

The rest of the visual design quickly followed. We ran with the typographical, newspaper-inspired theme, and my incredible web developer Alexis Watson began implementing stuff left and right. I dove into editing my posts and obsessively fixing every minuscule thing that bothered me as I browsed the staging site. A lot of toiling happened here, behind the scenes, usually late at night.

This is the result of all that work — and I can only hope it feels trustworthy, snarky, modern, fun, queer, and playful yet professional.


I dedicate this website to…

It takes a village to make a website, and I couldn’t have done it without the following peeps. My unending thanks to:

  • Alexis Watson, my web developer, who has been both a magical coding wizard and a calming presence throughout the process. They made me feel like everything was possible, and it was — because they did it for me.
  • Katie Swick, my super talented graphic designer who knew exactly what I meant when I said “no cutesy girly shit,” and Sierra Selene, the photographer who shot that gorgeous header photo. Did I mention all the people I hired are queer? I already did, but I want to say it again.
  • My therapist, whose nudging sent me on this journey in the first place and whose level-headed advice guided me through many a cry fest.
  • My girlfriend Aerie, the person I trust the most to help me make decisions. They helped me make so. many. decisions.
  • My partner, who listened to all my ranting and raving and never complained once about cooking me dinner while I toiled away in my office like some sort of starving artist.
  • My mom, who took all of this exactly as seriously as I did, which made me feel less alone.
  • Wendy and Rae, the best cheerleaders, and Owen, who helped me collect my thoughts.
  • Rosie, my friend and owner of Portland Toy Company, who gave me dildos and butt plugs for my header photoshoot.
  • All my beta testers!

Special thanks to Tegan & Sara for releasing their new album and memoir exactly when I needed a reprieve from this endeavor. Seeing them live earlier this month touched my soul on a deep level, and now that my blog is done, I can finally take the time to read their book. BEST REWARD EVER.

Shout-out to my Magic Wand Rechargeable and Magic Wand Plus for offering me consistent “relief” during these months, too. These vibrators are a godsend when there’s no time for anything except quick orgasms.


You win too!

You, my lovely readers, also deserve much gratitude. Thank you for your patience with me as I dove into this project and disappeared for a while. I hope I have done you proud.

To thank you for your support, I talked to my BFFs at SheVibe and arranged to give away five $25 gift cards! Simply comment below, and my five favorite commenters will win that sweet sweet sex toy money.

  1. You’d be amazed at how irrelevant some results can be, among all the plugins I tested.

Similarly-salacious material

Comments

  1. I looks so ADULT and PROFESSIONAL and all that but the truth is that i love your taste in teal the most

    your shade of choice is just so, so juicy

  2. I uh…… don’t like it? AAA I’M SORRY!!! but let me explain

    -parts I don’t like-
    The header bar is two (2) lines, which is weird by itself, but also annoying because it’s visible while scrolling and takes too much of the screen!
    That header image is waaay too big. It’s gigantic!
    It was not immediately obvious to me while on the homepage that the part previewing your newest blog post was, in fact, a new blog post. The gigantic image and the small margins on around the text make it feel like it’s a section of its own.
    On the homepage, there isn’t enough space between sections. Like if you look at ‘Favorite sex toys EVER’ and ‘Greatest hits’, the ‘see all my favorites’ button is equal distance between the previous section’s reviews and the headings for the next section.
    Your ‘new here’ section is more of a blog directory than actually where I would go if I was new. Sorry Piph, but when I was new here I wasn’t reading your greatest hits or browsing the tags. I was looking at the guides or reading the reviews for your ‘all-time faves’. so I also kinda disagree with its inclusion in the ‘Not sure where to begin?’ section on your homepage.

    -100% unsolicited suggestions- [throw me in the trash]
    take the ‘random’ and ‘popular’ buttons out from the header bar. they’re not really ‘menu’ items anyway?
    make the ‘Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina’ part float up in the middle of the header?

    Sorry this had to be so negative! I do mostly love what you’ve done with the blog. The interface is so clean and I adore the graphics and illustrations (well done to your graphic designer!!). And I really, really love the new logo.
    I do hope you take what I’ve written into account! No offence meant.

  3. THE UPDATE IS FANTASTIC!!! While everything is s p o t. o n. I absolutely adorethe main header and the full header that comes when clicking onto your posts! The vulva-esk teal print? The artistically balanced sex toys in b o t h images??? The post header looks like its riped paper at the bottom where it bleeds into the text of the post! WHAT ALL OF IT IS STUNNING AND I LOVE IT! *Chefs kiss*

  4. I love the new Greatest Hits category, and new E logo in the top left, and the incredibly snazzy and readable new layout and menus. That said, by far my favorite part so far is how much more readable the site is now. I have to keep websites on dark mode via browser extensions to avoid headaches and fatigue, and previously I had some trouble on this site.

    Particularly, it was so hard to find the search bar!! Now it’s beautifully visible, and the bigger text size for everything is so easy on the eyes. Major improvements in accessibility all around!

  5. Love it! I really appreciate the way the site adapts to different screen sizes/zoom levels. When I first opened it up, it took me a minute to realize my browser tab was still zoomed in (had been reading an article with stupid tiny type, ugh!) and they way the header and menus change really works well!

  6. AAAAAAAAAA I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I think my favorite has to be the new header photo, with that wallpaper backdrop in THE EXACT RIGHT shade of teal, with everything from stainless steel to bright orange silicone to THE RAINBOW HARNESS, THAT’S EXTREMELY GOALS.

  7. Ahh everything looks so so good! I love how crisp and clean and easy to navigate everything is. Somehow I’m finding new corners of your blog when I previously thought I’d seen everything! And the mobile site looks just as good as the desktop (I had to check both immediately)
    I love how much attention to detail went into this overhaul and it definitely shows, you and your team did an amazing job!

  8. Ohhhh yesssss.

    I just got home from a horrifying day at work (I’m a nurse, don’t get me started). I have been waiting for this day since you announced your overhaul and I can say I am BEYOND impressed with EVERYTHING! The vulva backdrop, the Greatest Hits category (scrolling past some past article titles and re-living the laughter and knowing how I look forward to reading them again), the updated photos, that cool hover over photo thing… You are my sex toy bible and the soothing peace that I am currently experiencing as I navigate the site is.. indescribable really. I am sooo happy to have you back and I honestly can’t say enough how incredible and so perfectly you the new site is. AHHHH Epiphora. What would I do without you??

  9. Gah!!! I’m so excited that the redesign is done! It looks amazing and I can’t wait to read all the great snarky reviews that will be beautifully showcased by the new layout!!! I’ve been absolutely itching to hear your opinion on some more recent toy releases, I refuse to make a purchase without Piph’s guiding hand pointing me, clit first, toward the toy I’ve been looking for all along. Following along on social media during this hiatus has been like the longest humor edge session ever and I’m so excited to finally come-to your brand spanking new site. This update is at least 1000 times more satisfying than a Sybian has ever been, and I’m absolutely vibrating with excitement at your return. Fuck yeah!

  10. I uh…… don’t like it? AAA I’M SORRY!!! but let me explain

    -parts I don’t like-
    The header bar is two (2) lines, which is weird by itself, but also annoying because it’s visible while scrolling and takes too much of the screen!
    That header image is waaay too big. It’s gigantic!
    It was not immediately obvious to me while on the homepage that the part previewing your newest blog post was, in fact, a new blog post. The gigantic image and the small margins on around the text make it feel like it’s a section of its own.
    On the homepage, there isn’t enough space between sections. Like if you look at ‘Favorite sex toys EVER’ and ‘Greatest hits’, the ‘see all my favorites’ button is equal distance between the previous section’s reviews and the headings for the next section.
    Your ‘new here’ section is more of a blog directory than actually where I would go if I was new. Sorry Piph, but when I was new here I wasn’t reading your greatest hits or browsing the tags. I was looking at the guides or reading the reviews for your ‘all-time faves’. so I also kinda disagree with its inclusion in the ‘Not sure where to begin?’ section on your homepage.

    -100% unsolicited suggestions- [throw me in the trash]
    take the ‘random’ and ‘popular’ buttons out from the header bar. they’re not really ‘menu’ items anyway?
    make the ‘Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina’ part float up in the middle of the header?

    Sorry this had to be so negative! I do mostly love what you’ve done with the blog. The interface is so clean and I adore the graphics and illustrations (well done to your graphic designer!!). And I really, really love the new logo.
    I do hope you take what I’ve written into account! No offence meant.

  11. I’m loving the header image too but my easily amused self it probably leaning toward my favourite thing being mousing over little category type buttons on the side and watching the magical butt plug and Hitachi and such change colour.

  12. God, it’s incredible! It’s so ridiculously satisfying. I can’t stop staring at all the new photos. Just utterly gorgeous.

  13. Eee, I’m so happy for you! I love the fonts, the teal (my star-crossed sports fandom demands it), and the intuitive layout. Honestly, my favorite thing? The anticipation during a week of continual annoyances and obligations being exceeded by the best capper: seeing your glorious preview photos in my IG feed while getting harangued by my aunt at the nursing home and knowing that vindication would be swift, for THE DAY HAS COME. And thanks to you, so can we all. Fine work indeed.

    PS I envy your reading HIGH SCHOOL next…I’m not even well-versed in Tegan and Sara’s music (yet–what album’s best for newbies?), and I was riveted!

  14. It is a marked improvement. I love that it’s much easier to read through now, definitely more accessible.

    I’m curious to know if there are any Easter eggs hiding around or if any are going to be implemented in time as you review your older material.

    Congrats on making it out on the other side :0)

  15. Ahhh it’s amazing!! I’ve been waiting for this day with eager antici…pation (sidenote: I forgot it was close to Halloween when making that joke, proofreading this made me realise it’s extra perfect now!). I am currently on a research cruise and didn’t think I’d have any internet access so I was really sad about the timing because I didn’t want to be late to this party, but it turns out this fancy new ship has limited satellite internet so long as we don’t go about 80 degrees north, which we aren’t doing again until later today, so I got a chance to peruse it a little! I love it, it’s so great, and really feels like it is exactly how it should be. Well done!! Also I love love love the colours – can all sex roys please come in that shade?!

  16. Ahhh it’s amazing!! I’ve been waiting for this day with eager antici…pation (sidenote: I forgot it was close to Halloween when making that joke, proofreading this made me realise it’s extra perfect now!). I am currently on a research cruise and didn’t think I’d have any internet access so I was really sad about the timing because I didn’t want to be late to this party, but it turns out this fancy new ship has limited satellite internet so long as we don’t go about 80 degrees north, which we aren’t doing again until later today, so I got a chance to peruse it a little! I love it, it’s so great, and really feels like it is exactly how it should be. Well done!! Also I love love love the colours – can all sex roys please come in that shade?!

  17. holy shit everything looks great. i’ve been following you and this blog for….so long!!! basically my entire adult life!!! the time i spent within the sex toy/reviewing community in my late teens and early 20s was one of the first times i felt a sense of community with other adults. it’s been such a pleasure to watch you grow in your craft and career, to see you build this up from literally nothing! the blog looks beautiful and the depth of your love for what you do is in every corner of it! <3

  18. My favorite thing about the blog is how utterly Piph it all feels. I thought that i’d feel some nostalgia and sadness at losing the old blog format and I do but this new blog feels like home. Like a place I can still trust and where my needs and queerness will be catered to aka exactly what i’ve always loved so much about your blog. It feels more modernized but it bleeds Hey Epiphora and it seems to be you at its heart. So I guess my favorite thing about the blog is you? also the lack of pink. I too hate pink with a murderous rage.

  19. holy shit everything looks great. i’ve been following you and this blog for….so long!!! basically my entire adult life!!! the time i spent within the sex toy/reviewing community in my late teens and early 20s was one of the first times i felt a sense of community with other adults. it’s been such a pleasure to watch you grow in your craft and career, to see you build this up from literally nothing! the blog looks beautiful and the depth of your love for what you do is in every corner of it! <3

  20. My favorite thing about the blog is how utterly Piph it all feels. I thought that i’d feel some nostalgia and sadness at losing the old blog format and I do but this new blog feels like home. Like a place I can still trust and where my needs and queerness will be catered to aka exactly what i’ve always loved so much about your blog. It feels more modernized but it bleeds Hey Epiphora and it seems to be you at its heart. So I guess my favorite thing about the blog is you? also the lack of pink. I too hate pink with a murderous rage.

  21. My favorite thing about the blog is how utterly Piph it all feels. I thought that i’d feel some nostalgia and sadness at losing the old blog format and I do but this new blog feels like home. Like a place I can still trust and where my needs and queerness will be catered to aka exactly what i’ve always loved so much about your blog. It feels more modernized but it bleeds Hey Epiphora and it seems to be you at its heart. So I guess my favorite thing about the blog is you? also the lack of pink. I too hate pink with a murderous rage.

  22. Oh my goodness! This was so good to see when I checked it today! The teal is entirely attractive and adult and delightful, and that header! I love it. All the fun toys and I loooooove the rainbow harness. Also the art of you is perfect too!

    But you know my absolute favorite thing of the update? It’s that it’s all done and we can expect more of your opinions in our ears again soon, on such a gorgeous and suitable-for-you platform!!

  23. My favorite thing about your new website is the lack of pink. I have never cared for being assaulted by all things pink, as I have been since kindergarten instigated social behavior that was separated by sex.
    This website is refreshing and nice to explore! Color coded separation of sex and gender no more!

  24. I’m aghast at how boring my favorite part of your redesign is, since the new colors and graphics and navigation are delightful, but I must be honest: it is so much easier to view on my phone. It takes a fraction of the time to load now, and the text is so much more readable on my teeny little screen! I almost never use my computer recreationally, so I really appreciate that.

  25. Wow! I love how the new and improved website design! It really shows off your style and writing personality(: It’s also so wonderfully simplistic, and really organized!

  26. I’m aghast at how boring my favorite part of your redesign is, since the new colors and graphics and navigation are delightful, but I must be honest: it is so much easier to view on my phone. It takes a fraction of the time to load now, and the text is so much more readable on my teeny little screen! I almost never use my computer recreationally, so I really appreciate that.

  27. This color blue makes this easily the prettiest, most interesting website I will visit all day. It’s good to have you back to posting! Please tell your cats hello on behalf of all of us!

  28. This is one of the most well designed professional blogs I’ve ever seen. The layout! The photos!! The COLORS!! It’s all so YOU and I’m happy your efforts have finally paid off. Congrats Piph!

  29. Love the bright colorful pictures, color scheme, and the awesome content!
    It thoroughly makes users feel like the brand is in tune with us and more
    concerned with our needs and desires!

  30. Wow! I love how the new and improved website design! It really shows off your style and writing personality(: It’s also so wonderfully simplistic, and really organized!

  31. It came up so quick on my phone! It looks beautiful and very you.

    We have almost the same exact curly hair routine, down to the brand of cheap gel.

  32. Yay! Congratulations, it looks amazing! I don’t want to enter the giveaway so passing my luck onto some other lucky reader, I just wanted to say I’m so glad your back and the site looks great.

  33. It came up so quick on my phone! It looks beautiful and very you.

    We have almost the same exact curly hair routine, down to the brand of cheap gel.

  34. Yay! Congratulations, it looks amazing! I don’t want to enter the giveaway so passing my luck onto some other lucky reader, I just wanted to say I’m so glad your back and the site looks great.

  35. I love the responsive size! Your site looks fantastic and fab now even on my tiny iPhone SE. Big runner up energy to “similarly salacious posts” with sexy pictures too.

  36. I’m not the only one to see this hopefully (I already see a long comment making similar points), so.

    It’s way too hard to get to recent posts now.
    The first sentence from the latest post is two and a half pages removed (it’s below the fold twice over on desktop, and 6 pages away on mobile).
    It has been done on purpose I imagine, because this is very unusual.
    That will break the expectations of regular blog readers at the very least.
    The pages and images I’m scrolling through to get to fresh content look cool, but they are static, and I won’t have a need to see them at my next visit. I’ll probably just waste time scanning them for changes and remembering how to find the damn content.
    Yes, the design is great and looks great, but the point for me has been your writing, wit and perceptiveness, and they’re not really on display in a way I can easily get at after this redesign.

  37. I’m not the only one to see this hopefully (I already see a long comment making similar points), so.

    It’s way too hard to get to recent posts now.
    The first sentence from the latest post is two and a half pages removed (it’s below the fold twice over on desktop, and 6 pages away on mobile).
    It has been done on purpose I imagine, because this is very unusual and will break the expectations of regular blog readers at the very least.
    The pages and images I’m scrolling through to get to fresh content look cool, but they are static, and I won’t have a need to see them at my next visit. I’ll probably just waste time scanning them for changes and remembering how to find the damn content.
    Yes, the design is great and looks great, but the point for me has been your writing, wit and perceptiveness, and they’re not really on display in a way I can easily get at after this redesign.

  38. My overall impression is that it’s quite an improvement.

    Pros:
    – I like how everything seems to kind of flow together, how everything seems to match. And not in a “this is uniform but uninteresting to my eyes” kind of way, but in a “ahh, this is pretty visually pleasing” kind of way.
    – Things are a lot easier to find. I used to have to hunt for your search bar and your tags in particular, so this is a lot easier to navigate that way.
    – It also has a good format on my phone. Seeing as I spend about half of my time on your site on my phone, that’s extremely important to me.
    – I like that if I scroll up, I can see the taskbar, but if I’m scrolling down, it tells me what I’m reading. I also like the “E” icon a lot.
    – The “- minute read” feature is EXTREMELY helpful. I have 10 minute breaks at work, and a lot of times I’ll leave reading a post of yours until later so I can fully read it.
    – The colors, font, and icons are spot on.
    – The pictures are fantastic as usual.
    – The best part is that I just feel like it is an extremely faithful representation of you. I look at it and go, “Yeah. This is Epiphora.” And I love that.

    Cons:
    – The worst thing is that, for me, everything is a bit too big. It kind of feels like I’m sitting too close to the screen in a movie theater. I keep wanting to move my head back. And I’m near-sighted. I’ve had to zoom out the page to about 80% for me to feel comfortable. I don’t know if I just need to adjust or what, but it’s overall the biggest con.
    – The header image is too big. It can’t fit all on my screen at once, and I have a 17″ laptop. I want to see all of the image at once! I didn’t even notice the Inclusion Harness until you mentioned it, and I couldn’t make out anything but the head of the blue toy on the left. (At 80% zoom, it’s perfect, though.)

    All together, I’m really happy with what you’ve done! I know you’ve worked so hard on it, and it definitely shows! I’m excited that I get to see this every time I visit your site! Congratulations!!

  39. My overall impression is that it’s quite an improvement.

    Pros:
    – I like how everything seems to kind of flow together, how everything seems to match. And not in a “this is uniform but uninteresting to my eyes” kind of way, but in a “ahh, this is pretty visually pleasing” kind of way.
    – Things are a lot easier to find. I used to have to hunt for your search bar and your tags in particular, so this is a lot easier to navigate that way.
    – It also has a good format on my phone. Seeing as I spend about half of my time on your site on my phone, that’s extremely important to me.
    – I like that if I scroll up, I can see the taskbar, but if I’m scrolling down, it tells me what I’m reading. I also like the “E” icon a lot.
    – The “- minute read” feature is EXTREMELY helpful. I have 10 minute breaks at work, and a lot of times I’ll leave reading a post of yours until later so I can fully read it.
    – The colors, font, and icons are spot on.
    – The pictures are fantastic as usual.
    – The best part is that I just feel like it is an extremely faithful representation of you. I look at it and go, “Yeah. This is Epiphora.” And I love that.

    Cons:
    – The worst thing is that, for me, everything is a bit too big. It kind of feels like I’m sitting too close to the screen in a movie theater. I keep wanting to move my head back. And I’m near-sighted. I’ve had to zoom out the page to about 80% for me to feel comfortable. I don’t know if I just need to adjust or what, but it’s overall the biggest con.
    – The header image is too big. It can’t fit all on my screen at once, and I have a 17″ laptop. I want to see all of the image at once! I didn’t even notice the Inclusion Harness until you mentioned it, and I couldn’t make out anything but the head of the blue toy on the left. (At 80% zoom, it’s perfect, though.)

    All together, I’m really happy with what you’ve done! I know you’ve worked so hard on it, and it definitely shows! I’m excited that I get to see this every time I visit your site! Congratulations!!

  40. My overall impression is that it’s quite an improvement.

    Pros:
    – I like how everything seems to kind of flow together, how everything seems to match. And not in a “this is uniform but uninteresting to my eyes” kind of way, but in a “ahh, this is pretty visually pleasing” kind of way.
    – Things are a lot easier to find. I used to have to hunt for your search bar and your tags in particular, so this is a lot easier to navigate that way.
    – It also has a good format on my phone. Seeing as I spend about half of my time on your site on my phone, that’s extremely important to me.
    – I like that if I scroll up, I can see the taskbar, but if I’m scrolling down, it tells me what I’m reading. I also like the “E” icon a lot.
    – The “- minute read” feature is EXTREMELY helpful. I have 10 minute breaks at work, and a lot of times I’ll leave reading a post of yours until later so I can fully read it.
    – The colors, font, and icons are spot on.
    – The pictures are fantastic as usual.
    – The best part is that I just feel like it is an extremely faithful representation of you. I look at it and go, “Yeah. This is Epiphora.” And I love that.

    Cons:
    – The worst thing is that, for me, everything is a bit too big. It kind of feels like I’m sitting too close to the screen in a movie theater. I keep wanting to move my head back. And I’m near-sighted. I’ve had to zoom out the page to about 80% for me to feel comfortable. I don’t know if I just need to adjust or what, but it’s overall the biggest con.
    – The header image is too big. It can’t fit all on my screen at once, and I have a 17″ laptop. I want to see all of the image at once! I didn’t even notice the Inclusion Harness until you mentioned it, and I couldn’t make out anything but the head of the blue toy on the left. (At 80% zoom, it’s perfect, though.)

    All together, I’m really happy with what you’ve done! I know you’ve worked so hard on it, and it definitely shows! I’m excited that I get to see this every time I visit your site! Congratulations!!

  41. reality of life: lots of people view sites primarily on their phones or maybe their tablets rather than a full-sized PC monitor. it may be “boring”, but i’d say that it’s also a perfectly reasonable favorite thing for your situation and something that should go into proper website design in this day and age.

  42. Do you also attend housewarming parties and tell the host every single thing you hate about their new house? To nitpick down to the spacing between elements is pretty fucking rude.

  43. Do you also attend housewarming parties and tell the host every single thing you hate about their new house? To nitpick down to the spacing between elements is pretty fucking rude.

  44. I’m not following what you are describing here at all. If you can email me with more details (preferably screenshots), and an explanation of how you used to browse recent posts on my old site, I can look into it.

  45. Love the new look. Well worth the wait and the choice of color is beautiful as always. Just want to say thank you for all you do. I love your reviews and guides. They’re very helpful and informative and you’re adorable. Cheers for all your help and it’s thanks to you that I learned about toxic toys and safety. That is something that we need more knowledge of in the world so I appreciate all that you do. I look forward to your new posts. Have a good day. Thanks!

  46. I love how happy and proud you seem to be of the end result of months of hard work, and you should be! It looks great! I love how you used your fave color, teal, basically as much as you could, in the banner, logo, main image, sidebar, and hyperlinks. The accent and highlight lime green looks great with the teal too.

    I’m pretty sure this specific post didn’t show up in my RSS feed though, so can you please double check things on your end to make sure things are still setup correctly? Thanks so much, and here’s to another few decades of honest, snarky, and fun reviews, with bonus cats scattered throughout!

    Edit: Looks like things are wonky on my RSS feed reader’s end, because I’m having issues with several websites it seems, sorry for the false alarm.

  47. Thank you for your thoughtful comment! I’m so glad you are appreciating all those little details. Having the site look cohesive was a major goal of mine! I also wanted everything to be exceedingly readable, hence the font size. Honestly, I’d rather people have to zoom out than have to zoom in. (It’s more accessible that way, and images aren’t blurry.) As for the header, you aren’t really meant to see all of it, but perhaps some adjustments could be made with the scaling. Like I said, a work in progress…

  48. Your comment is so sweet it makes me want to cry! I also thought I would mourn the old site more, but about halfway through the process I realized how positively ARCHAIC my old site looked in comparison and I was kinda happy to say goodbye to it. In a way, the new site is more me because a lot more thought has gone into the design, whereas the old one was cobbled together over many years.

  49. Thank you for your thoughtful comment! I’m so glad you are appreciating all those little details. Having the site look cohesive was a major goal of mine! I also wanted everything to be exceedingly readable, hence the font size. Honestly, I’d rather people have to zoom out than have to zoom in. (It’s more accessible that way, and images aren’t blurry.) As for the header, you aren’t really meant to see all of it, but perhaps some adjustments could be made with the scaling. Like I said, a work in progress…

  50. Not boring at all, that was one of my most important goals with this re-design! I’m the total opposite, in that I favor my computers over my phone, so if you see anything weird on mobile, do let me know.

  51. Wellllllll, I did update a lot of posts and some even have new photos. It’s not an easter egg, but I will say there’s one new photo in particular that just makes me giggle with joy. It’s for a really old but classic review. Can you find it?

  52. Awwww, that makes me so happy to hear! Just for someone to anticipate the launch with that much excitement!

    Oh my god, start with EVERY ALBUM. Probably The Con, but if you want me to make you a mix or something instead…

  53. Hi!!! I love your new website! I am currently a college student who teaches sex ed on my campus and im always trying to include stuff about pleasure rather than just safety! Needless to say I am loving all your info, especially your recs!!

  54. Love the redesign! It looks so fun and fresh and fits your personality to a T! Love that it’s not so stiff and unwelcoming like some sites. You and your team did a phenomenal job! Congrats!

  55. I love the huge leaps of progress you’ve made deeper into the “professional blogger” realm. This site SCREAMS pro. Things I love:
    – The drop-down header as I read is fantastic.
    – Your new simple organization into a handfull of categories helps me find shit!
    – Thank you for consolidating ads to make this feel like a less-cluttered experience from header to footer.
    – AMAZING colors. I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL. You are seriously serving up a real brand here.

    You’re amazing, and your team is amazing. All the hard work paid off, and I hope you find yourself feeling proud for a very long time to come!

  56. Who wants to let the geniuses over at HBO know that they weren’t the first ones to cook up a Dr Manhattan sex toy? And that the Uberrime one is clearly superior to the abomination that they designed?

  57. Hi!!! I love your new website! I am currently a college student who teaches sex ed on my campus and im always trying to include stuff about pleasure rather than just safety! Needless to say I am loving all your info, especially your recs!!

  58. This is 100% an adventure and I am going to have SO MUCH FUN meandering through the site and noticing all the new little bits and bobs and features just waiting to be dug up. (It’s like a Boris hunt, but with website code!) I have to say, though, I did make an entirely unprofessional noise of glee and exclaimed, “The search bar!” when the page loaded at first, because I always had such a hard time remembering where it was. Mazel tov on the realization of all your and your team’s hard work!

  59. Congratulations on all your hard work, Piph! The redesign looks beautiful and is very functional on my phone. Easy to navigate, quick loading on pages/images, and all the new images are beautifully colorful and eye catching. Great work!

  60. Been using you for sex toy reqs for years but it’s for real nice to have a better phone layout. Great job to everyone involved!

  61. What’s our favorite thing about the new site? It’s fucking GORGEOUS! We had so much fun looking around last night. Congratulations!!!

  62. What’s our favorite thing about the new site? It’s fucking GORGEOUS! We had so much fun looking around last night. Congratulations!!!

  63. Yay for the new site being live! I wish I could have given feedback on the beta testing and I really meant to, but anxiety, life, and massive exam stress got in the way. I’m so glad you’re back though because I missed the reviews a lot!
    Congratulations though, the new site is fantastic!

  64. This is so gorgeous and wonderful! <3 I love the attention to detail and all of the small, unique things that just make this blog YOU. But honestly, the color scheme is GORGEOUS.

  65. The vulva wallpaper! I don’t mean to discount your epic CSS battles, v. valiant etc., but I can’t stop staring at the wallpaper and wanting to, IDK, rub my face on it. Whiiiich I should probably get out of my system with my girlfriend’s help instead of going to a hardware store?

    What is that cutie-pie green dildo above the R in epiphora? Is there a legend for the header photo? Because I stan a legend, yo. XD

  66. I truly am blown away by the overall design, time, effort and details. Since I myself am not savy in graphic design. I would most likely not have actually noticed how intricate all the work that has been done. You truly have come a long way keep wowing us like you always do!

  67. My favorite thing about Piph’s redesign? I love that I get their amazing theme song in my head EVEN MORE OFTEN than I did before, since its lyrics are so prominently featured. “I feel like I should forewarn ya/ I’m going to be singing this song foreverrrr…”

  68. I love love love LOVE the color scheme! All of my faves all together! Great job on the redesign, you can really see all your hard work!

  69. It’s weirdly specific, but I ADORE the circled E on the left of the menu bar. Totally horny for that half-script, half-serif uppercase E over what I can only see as a round condom wrapper.

  70. I really like that the font is bigger and less crowded as it is much easier for me to read. The color palette is attractive. I appreciate the sidebar and navigation.

  71. AH CHANGE!! I’ll have to deal since I can’t deny this new site is sleek as hell and luckily every once of sarcasm and wit is still present as ever. What new thing I like most is the “popular” article feature to get an idea what posts others have gravitated to the in the past day, week or month!

  72. The vulva wallpaper! I don’t mean to discount your epic CSS battles, v. valiant etc., but I can’t stop staring at the wallpaper and wanting to, IDK, rub my face on it. Whiiiich I should probably get out of my system with my girlfriend’s help instead of going to a hardware store?

    What is that cutie-pie green dildo above the R in epiphora? Is there a legend for the header photo? Because I stan a legend, yo. XD

  73. My favorite thing is how, just, honest you are in your toy reviews. I know that’s probably lame to say, but I’m a trans man and I’m always curious about getting toys and not only do I trust your reviews (because you cover ALL the pros and cons, but also talk about your experience using it and share funny stories that make me feel better about my own mishaps) but because I feel, like. Safe here. I don’t feel awkward being queer and trans and curious.

    Also, for the new site? I LOVE the teal. Holy shit.

  74. I can feel myself almost start to hyperventilate when I even dare try to imagine the meticulous amount of work and attention to detail that you’ve all collectively had to put into this baby. From my own experience it’s hard to convey artistic vision to someone else. You did that very well.

    Like I’ve told you already, I’m absolutely blown away! My favorite part is the incorporation of small, unique details that long time Epiphora readers, like myself, easily recognize and which ultimately make us all feel right at home.

    Hey, got an idea, maybe you can do a class on blog overhaul someday, lol? Go ahead and sign me up, please!

  75. OMG, it’s beautiful!! I volunteered to beta and have been waiting with bated breath (heh), but your email inviting testers came while I was in a flurry of preparation for a trip, and it got lost in the shuffle. I think my favorite part is the header!

  76. The header seems to all fit on my screen, but I can’t see the harness at all. (I went back to check twice, once after reading the o-ring gag big in the post, once after reading this comment.) It’s gorgeous but I wonder if it’s clipping in an unintended way?

  77. This is so gorgeous and wonderful! <3 I love the attention to detail and all of the small, unique things that just make this blog YOU. But honestly, the color scheme is GORGEOUS.

  78. My favorite thing about the new site is how smooth it feels, I liked your old site of course but everything feels more intuitive, and the design looks cleaner! It’s beautiful, well designed, and very modern.

  79. I absolutely love the colors. I especially enjoy how the tags pop out with being surrounded by yellow. I also like the design layout of the reviews, the sort of teaser that will make me want to click and read more. Absolutely wonderful new design. I look forward to reading future reviews with the new design layout.

  80. As a queer designer I was so excited to hear you doing an overhaul on your website! It truly matches the tone and voice of Piph, from colors to typography (Soooo fresh), and the photography. I love it so much! Even the newsletter sign-up popup is awesome, and I HATE popups! You can seriously tell all the hard work that got put into this site (can I say I love the progress bar when reading down the page? That’s always a favorite thing of mine on editorial sites).

    Congratulations to you, and to the team that worked so hard on this.

  81. Oh my word, the colors are wonderful! And the photos just pop!! This layout and the design just make me so dang happy, I’ve been reading through a bunch of your older posts the past couple days!

  82. I’m liking the way it flows…It seems larger, somehow, like a room that’s been decluttered, and organized, and redecorated. The fonts are easier on my eyes too. Oddly enough, your header is almost the same shade as my hair is currently!

  83. One small thing I just noticed–if an article begins with a quote, the first letter of the article (the large one) is still flush left, while the rest of the quote is centered. Otherwise, everything has looked fantastic!

  84. THE CON seems to be the consensus, good to know! I’m touched by the mix offer, but I know that’s a time-consuming project. Of course, if you need any in-kind tuneage… [gazes at room that looks like a record store exploded]

  85. Love the new site! It is not only easier to navigate, also a very aesthetically pleasing color palette and design. I have to admit that when I read that you called around looking for vulva like wallpaper, I died out laughing for the simple fact that I REALLY wanted to be a fly on the wall of the person(s) on the other end of that phone call. This may be due in part that I have over 10 years customer service experience, which is what makes this golden. Oh, if I could only hear what they said to their co-workers after that call ended. 😉

  86. I just love that it feels so <you. Mostly the colors (the pops of green in particular), and adore the new header and other photos! Feels like a very fresh, modern, yet homey update.

  87. I’m in awe with theamazing great job overall fit and feel of your re-design. Love the overall flow of the pages.

  88. I’m a web designer myself, so I absolutely LOVE the new look of your site! It’s clean, it’s pretty, it’s responsive, and your personality comes through very clearly. You and your team did a fantastic job!!

  89. I gotta say that I love the new design and colors of the new blog. The thing that I love the most is that the blog looks pretty much the same on both computer and phone.

  90. I’m a web designer myself, so I absolutely LOVE the new look of your site! It’s clean, it’s pretty, it’s responsive, and your personality comes through very clearly. You and your team did a fantastic job!!

  91. So, there’s a lot that I like about the site for sure. It’s really pretty, I like “E” graphic, and the posts themselves look great. However, I really hate how the banner follows you as you scroll! I understand the functionality of this, but it covers more than a quarter of the screen. I prefer to have more of the article I’m reading available to me at once. Do you think it’s possible to have an option to toggle the banner, like maybe a smaller widget that follows you as you scroll that you can click to expand the banner when you need it?

  92. I absolutely love the new site! Amazing colors and photos, perfect copy, and utterly you! Also, the fact that you hired an all queer team hoping the gay would just seep in honestly makes my heart sing.

  93. I admittedly have never heard of this blog until today but I’m in love already. My favorite thing has to be that this blog feels like a warm hug. As an ace biromantic enby a lot of sex blogs feel kind of intimidating and just aren’t very relatable to me. Sure the info is good and I like reading about toys from relatively unbiased sources but I end up feeling like an outsider. I feel welcome here and feel like I’m not entering a sex dungeon or a creepy lab, just a friend’s house to talk about sex stuff and products and I LOVE IT. So thank you for this truly beautiful site design and putting in the long hours to create such a welcoming, informative, and fun space.

  94. I assume this is on the desktop version of the site? Are you seeing 2 lines of menu items? I know that is not ideal and hope to fix it with future updates, but the menu itself is pretty baked into the theme. What I hope to do is adjust its behavior more for smaller screens. If you’re up for emailing me with some screenshots, I’d appreciate it! [email protected]

  95. I am sure of it, at least you made their week! Also here is a direct link of where you can buy adult themed fabric and wallpaper, and yes you can even buy it with vulvas and/or penis’ as well as sex toys and swear words. Here is the link there is 4 pages full of adult themed fabric/wallpaper here.
    https://www.spoonflower.com/tags/sex?page=1&available=all&image=design&t=sex&view=designs
    I have bought some of their fabric in order to sew up a zippered travel “toy” bag. You know so that TSA knows what is in it without even having to open it up. 😉

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