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Whine Time

Pills spilled on an orange surface.
BanterGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The 2 weeks of my sex life I lost to Zoloft

My doctor was mildly amused when I told her that I run a sex toy review blog. “Some people experience...
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BanterSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibratorsWhine Time

The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

The Jimmyjane Form 2 was so close to perfect. Until it wasn’t anymore. I started noticing, while using the Form...
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My desk, covered in messy used dildos and vibrators, with a bottle of lube in the foreground.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

This will be your life.

Look, I get it. You think this is a picture of a FUN FUN SUPER FUN night. I know —...
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Tristan Taormino lecturing at a university. Strangely, the room seems not to have exploded the moment she opened her mouth?
BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

Tristan Taormino and the hypocrisy of OSU

Yesterday I woke up to a very sad press release in my inbox. It announced that Tristan Taormino, sex educator...
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"The Industry"BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

Watch battery bullets can suck it

Hey, watch battery bullets — have I told you lately to suck it? No? Yeah, that’s because usually when a...
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Lea Hart and Mona Wales on Crash Pad, and a pile of "obscene" sex toys
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

When will we stop fearing sex?

As I write this, sipping a chestnut praline latte at my local Starbucks, I know I’m living on borrowed time....
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My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsWhine Time

The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

I hate pink. Always have. Based on pure shudder-factor, my aversion to pink ranks somewhere below my trypophobia but above my distaste...
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Sex toy reviewer spread: camera, laptop, to-do list, and sex toys everywhere.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The secret truth about sex toy reviewing

“Holy shit, you masturbate for a living?!” This is how people often respond when I tell them what I do, and...
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A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see. You email me under the guise of caring....
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BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

Want to harass people and get away with it? Join Formspring

A while back, the craze of Formspring.me caught on within the sex blogging community. People were asking each other questions...
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True fact.
"The Industry"BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

What the fuck, EdenFantasys?

Good morning to me! Hello [my legal name], Please be advised we have disabled your contributor account at EdenFantasys.com This decision...
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A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.
"The Industry"BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

There’s a glimmer of recognition that crosses someone’s face when I ask, “have you ever encountered a sex toy that...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.

Review: Stronic G

The Sybian... and packing materials.

Today in my life… a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

The Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets glass dildo, covered in little orange spikes, standing upright near some pointy green fake grass.

Review: Taffy Tickler Silicone Sweets

A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.

Review: Ida

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