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Slush pile

These toys are THE WORST.

Lovehoney Flash USB rechargeable vibrator on top of a dictionary, open to the definition of "buzzy."
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Flash

The year is 2013 AD. Yet, eyes closed and knowing nothing, I could swear that the Lovehoney Flash is a tiny gourd...
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We-Vibe Gala on a bookshelf.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Gala

My clit is a pretty sensitive creature. You’re going to need to know this going in. Take notes for the...
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LELO Hula Beads in the snow.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Hula Beads

Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO...
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iGino partying with a tequila shot,.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: iGino One

OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ...
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Greatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Intensity

The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used...
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Me grasping the Jopen VR1 kegel balls, with rainbow-painted nails.
Kegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Jopen Vanity VR1

The Jopen Vanity VR1 kegel balls have offended my vagina. Deeply. They are supposed to vibrate when squeezed. Oh, in my hand...
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Jimmyjane Little Chroma on top of my blender.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Little Chroma

The Jimmyjane Little Chroma is a scam. Not like your “friend” emailing you in distress because they’re stranded in London....
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Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand with Dual Exciter Rabbit Attachment
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Mini Magic Wand

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30%...
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Jimmyjane Form 5 and Hello Touch X vibrators (plus masking tape labels) next to some fall leaves.
BDSMGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Form 5 + Hello Touch X

Why does Jimmyjane still exist? That’s mean. I know. I should delete that. I should write a new first sentence,...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Her Perfect Fit

A somewhat bored-looking, lingerie-clad woman stares back at me from her position atop Her Perfect Fit. Three cute icons at...
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LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ida

I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the LELO Ida. I can see it in...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Impulse Butterfly

Don’t ask me why I had to try a strap-on vibrator. I’m ashamed to admit that I ever thought it...
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iVibe Massager phone app
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

When asking me to review the iVibe Massager iPhone app, the developer freely admitted to me — and I quote —...
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LELO PicoBong Kiki vibrator (photo by Mandi at EROntric, used with permission)
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Kiki

I was going to ignore PicoBong altogether. Although I was initially drawn to the brand because, well, LELO invented it...
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LELO Lyla remote controlled vibrator, lying in the grass in Maui.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Lyla

Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in...
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Penis ToysSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Monkey Spanker

The Monkey Spanker is so weird-looking that my boyfriend had to try it. The toy consists of a plastic handle,...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Cards in a sex game called "Foreplay"

How not to design a sex game

Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.

Review: Afterglow

Dame Products Eva "hands-free" "couples" wearable vibrator standing up like a creepy bug.

Review: Dame Eva

Holding the key to dildo mansion.

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

Rainbow notebook, bracelets, and keychain.

The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 1: Mom, I’m queer

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