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These toys are THE WORST.

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Review: Caress

It’s a genius name for a sex toy, because it conveys so much. Caress, like the breeze casually ruffling a...
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Review: Sydnee’s Elegant Endeavor

I never thought of masturbation as “elegant,” nor have I ever described it as an “endeavor.” Perhaps if my experience with...
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Pop Shot: Minerva

The grapevine says that the Minerva cock ring by California Exotic is a pretty good cock ring. The grapevine is...
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LELO Ida vibrator in a box of various nail polishes.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ida

I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the LELO Ida. I can see it in...
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Review: OhMyG

It freaks me out to imagine the questions sex toy shoppers of today must ask themselves. The landscape of options...
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PornSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Brent Corrigan’s Summit

Brent Corrigan’s Summit is supposed to be a reality-style porn film. All the stars journeyed to a Lake Tahoe cabin...
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Review: Her Perfect Fit

A somewhat bored-looking, lingerie-clad woman stares back at me from her position atop Her Perfect Fit. Three cute icons at...
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Pop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves

I needed gloves to wear for my product videos. The Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves looked fairly cute. They’re black, lacy,...
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Jimmyjane Form 5 and Hello Touch X vibrators (plus masking tape labels) next to some fall leaves.
BDSMGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Form 5 + Hello Touch X

Why does Jimmyjane still exist? That’s mean. I know. I should delete that. I should write a new first sentence,...
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LELO Lyla remote controlled vibrator, lying in the grass in Maui.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Lyla

Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in...
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Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way,...
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Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Split Dildo

The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on...
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LELO Hula Beads in the snow.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Hula Beads

Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO...
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Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand with Dual Exciter Rabbit Attachment
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Review: Mini Magic Wand

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30%...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.

Review: Ora 2

LELO PicoBong Kiki vibrator (photo by Mandi at EROntric, used with permission)

Review: Kiki

Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo

Review: Ceramix No. 4

G-Spot Rx vibrator, a rabbit-style vibe in clinical blue, with a strange little rub on the shaft that rocks back and forth.

The world’s FIRST and only REAL G-spot toy! Ever!!!

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

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