March 5th, 2009 — all laid out and drying after a nice thorough boil in a big pot. Some dildos change, but boiling day remains the same. Pictured sorta left to right: Phallix Inside-Out Spiral Rib Double Dong, Tantus Ripple, Tantus Alumina Revolve, LELO Ella, Phallix Dual-Sided Swirled Rib, Big Teaze Toys Dai-Do #4, Tantus Sherbet, Tantus Alumina Motion, Phallix Gold-Ribbed Love Wand, Phallix Cobalt Twister, Tantus Ryder, Ophoria Pleasure No. 6, Tantus Goddess. I do believe this was taken at the height of my glass dildo kick. And an inadvertent Tantus kick.

Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora’s-header is. No longer will you have to sheepishly email/tweet me and awkwardly try to describe the location of the toy you need identified. I took the picture that became my header image in fall of 2008, when I bought HeyEpiphora.com, so these toys are all from that time. Some of them are a bit embarrassing… Evolved Symphony Rhapsody Hitachi Magic Wand — I received my first one a little too early in my reviewing career. Yeesh. Phallix Cobalt Twister Vixen Creations Buddy — My first butt plug! It wouldn’t stay in! Liberator Fascinator Throe . . . read more

After a long masturbation session, the kitchen counter usually looks something like this: Left to right: Alumina Motion/Revolve hybrid, Dual-Sided Swirled Rib, Xtreme Pack, Cobalt Twister, Gold Ribbed Love Wand, Alumina Motion/Revolve hybrid This was taken in December of 2008, though, when I was on a glass dildo kick, and when my Xtreme Pack had not yet been usurped by the Eroscillator, et al. Also, I’m not sure why things are lined up so neatly. That is not normal.

[This dildo, and Phallix as a manufacturer, are now kaput, but beautiful glass toys can be found from Crystal Delights or Simply Blown.] I’ve finally become jaded. After a plethora of impressive glass toys, my standards for glass have been raised quite a bit. A pretty piece of glass is not enough to turn me into a blubbering idiot anymore. I expect serious function. Texture, perhaps, or an innovative shape. Especially if a toy is priced up the wazoo like this one is. Unfortunately, although the Phallix Dual Sided Swirled Rib appears to be unique in its shape, that uniqueness does not translate to its function. Not enough, at least. It feels nice, as nice as glass always feels. Using it the traditional way . . . read more

[Sorry, the Cobalt Twister is nowhere to be found anymore. The Icicles No. 1 and Callisto are the closest I could find.] I know, I know, I know. I’m reviewing another glass dildo. What can I say? I just keep finding interesting shapes and textures that I want to try. Phallix’s Cobalt Twister offers a slight twist — ha, ha — on the swirled shapes I have tried in the past. On this one, the swirls have more space between them, giving the dildo a corkscrew-like appearance. Also inside the plastic package from Phallix was a red satin drawstring pouch; yep, the same thin and lacy kind of pouch that comes with nearly every Phallix dildo these days. Fortunately for me, . . . read more

[This dildo, and Phallix as a manufacturer, are now kaput, but beautiful glass toys can be found from Crystal Delights or Simply Blown. Also, the Double Trouble, Glass Dual Curved Wand, and Icicles No. 28 are similar to this dildo.] After a while, all my reviews of glass toys are going to sound the same. “It’s great! A bit pricey, but hey, it’s basically worth it!” I wish there were new points to make. But the thing is, glass cannot fail. Cleaning is a non-issue (sterilize by boiling, wiping with 10% bleach solution or running through dishwasher, top rack, no soap.). It doesn’t vibrate, so I can’t complain about it being too weak or taking obscure batteries. It’s not made of a creepy porous material. It . . . read more

[This dildo, and Phallix as a manufacturer, are now kaput, but beautiful glass toys can be found from Crystal Delights or Simply Blown. In fact, the Crystal Twist is similar and even better than this dildo.] Take just a moment to ogle the photographs of the Phallix Twisted Lattachino Love Wand, and you will quickly see why I lusted after it. It is made of glass, of course, with swirled ridges all down the shaft, and vibrant ribbons of color throughout the dildo. Having already experienced the orgasmic bliss that is bumpy glass, I wanted to try swirled glass. As with all dreams and high expectations, the wand isn’t, in reality, a perfect object. Aesthetically, it isn’t as flawless and vibrant as the . . . read more

[This dildo is no longer available, but I’ve found a similar glass dildo I love even more: the Crystal Delights Star Delight. The cheap Icicles No. 7, Icicles No. 50, and Nubby are also similar.] This dildo is dishwasher safe! I find that endlessly amusing. I should preface this review with a few tidbits about myself. I like vibrators. I came into the realm of sex toys with a vibrator, and I used it mostly on my clit, not for penetration. I’m getting into penetration more and more, but the point remains: this is my first non-vibrating toy, so I was both apprehensive and intrigued about receiving it. Along with the dildo itself, the package includes a fuzzy, bright pink drawstring bag for . . . read more