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    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

California Exotic Novelties

Cal Exotic is one of the big four sex toy manufacturers, in addition to Doc Johnson, Topco, and Pipedream. In my opinion, they are one of the better ones, although that’s not a huge compliment. They have a luxury-focused division called Jopen.

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  • A to Z
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Royal Wizard

October 9, 2007
The Royal Wizard from California Exotic Novelties has an intriguing shape and an interesting texture; it has a slightly curved head...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Sydnee’s Elegant Endeavor

November 2, 2007
I never thought of masturbation as “elegant,” nor have I ever described it as an “endeavor.” Perhaps if my experience with...
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California Exotics Turbo Glider
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Turbo Glider

March 28, 2008
I stumbled upon the Turbo Glider whilst on the hunt for an inexpensive vibe that wouldn’t fall apart or die...
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Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet

April 5, 2008
This is one case in which I will permit the use of the word “Xtreme.” Why? Because it actually describes...
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Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Silicone Slims Self Satisfier

July 27, 2008
First things first: this thing is unabashedly pink. No, not hot pink or magenta — I’m talking cutesy, baby shower...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Tera Patrick’s Super Charged Magnum

July 31, 2008
I know packaging doesn’t matter, but sometimes I just can’t ignore the hilarity of it. Check out this piece of...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Crystal Candy G-Licious

September 15, 2008
The Crystal Candy G-Licious came in a transparent plastic box that looked like it belonged in the little girls’ aisle...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Illusion Wand Rapture

October 3, 2008
Time for a fact check. Illusion? No, I don’t think I was imagining that thing buzzing manically in my vagina....
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Silicone Bliss

December 3, 2008
Silicone, eh? Is that so? Really? I don’t believe you. You are California Exotic; you do not do this. You...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Elle clitoral dancer

December 23, 2008
As many of you know, I am practically married to my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet. Although it is a quite...
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DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Dr. Laura Berman Ruby

December 29, 2008
While I do own quite a few glass dildos at this juncture, I don’t have any that look quite like...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Goddess Platinum Massager

February 8, 2009
I am ever on the lookout for any toy that resembles the love of my life, the Xtreme Pack G-spot...
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"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Cal Exotic inches toward integrity

February 21, 2009
I’m a freak. The moment I heard that California Exotic Novelties launched a new website, I flew on over there....
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Pop ShotsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Pop Shot: Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves

March 22, 2009
I needed gloves to wear for my product videos. The Erotique Sheer Lace Gloves looked fairly cute. They’re black, lacy,...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Xtreme Kit

March 22, 2009
I’ve been curious for a while now about the Xtreme Kit. I am unabashed in my creepy allegiance to the...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Bare With Me game

March 28, 2009
Bare With Me is a sex game, so unsurprisingly, the box is beyond ridiculous; it features a jungle scene with...
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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