I don’t want to lead you on, so straight up: Ride the Vibe doesn’t work. I know. It has a...
The Monkey Spanker is so weird-looking that my boyfriend had to try it. The toy consists of a plastic handle,...
I knew the OhMiBod was a shoddy piece of crap from the get-go. I just didn’t have quite enough justification...
On the front of the package, a circle of orange spines say, “Try Me.” You feel them; they are glossy,...
It doesn’t taste like beer. At all....
The Wet for Her Two is… um, actually, what is it? Is it a dildo? A sleeve? Should I call it...
The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on...
The premise alone led me to the Wake-Up Vibe. And the premise drove me away. I only tried it a handful...
I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that...
This sex toy is everything I hate. Cutesy. Twee. Pink. Girly. Symbolic. I want to chuck it into a river. So why am...
Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any...
Have you ever looked at a jump rope, bike lock, thighmaster, or lasso and thought, “oh hey, I bet that’d be...
There are some failtastic sex toys that I keep around simply so I can lug them out in the future...
The LELO Mona Wave feels like being fingered by someone who is absent-mindedly planning out the toppings on the pizza they’re...
I wanted to feel the sensation of water sloshing in my vagina. Like the refreshing feeling of wading into the ocean....
I feel bad for celebrities. You’ll never hear me say that again. But they got the Afterglow in their goodie bags at the Oscars,...
