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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Fleshlight

You may have heard of Fleshlight. They make masturbation sleeves that are housed in flashlight-like cases. They’re the best around. My partner is IN LOVE with his.

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The shoe method of using a Fleshlight, tucked into the end.
Hi, I love youPenis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Fleshlight

September 27, 2009
My boyfriend is probably the only dude on the planet who, upon hearing the question “do you want a Fleshlight?”,... Keep Reading
A guy pretending to sleep in bed, with his arm around a Fleshlight mount. Am I supposed to be horrified?
"The Industry"BanterDon't Trust the HeadlinesWhine Time

Shame, Fleshlight style

October 10, 2009
Tonight I came across a link to a Gizmodo post called “I Had Sex With Furniture: The Shameful (NSFW) Fleshlight... Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tera Patrick Fleshlight (Twista)

January 22, 2010
My boyfriend is afraid of fake vaginas, but I forced him to make an exception for the Tera Patrick Fleshlight.... Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Succu Dry Fleshlight

March 12, 2010
Ever since the line of Sex in a Can Fleshlights came out, I’ve wanted to snag one for my boyfriend.... Keep Reading
Three underwear-clad gay dudes advertising Jack's Soda Sex in a Can series.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: Jack’s Soda Sex in a Can

April 9, 2010
These cuties would like you to drink their sodas, if you know what they mean… heh, heh… Even though my... Keep Reading
The shoe method of using a Fleshlight, tucked into the end.
BanterSunshine & RainbowsToybox Reports

Still Fleshlight after all these months

October 1, 2010
I’m at my desk, watching porn, jacking off, while my boyfriend reads in bed. Well, he reads for about 5... Keep Reading
Fleshlight sample, Tantus dildos, Vixen silicone sample, PicoBong die
BanterToybox Reports

Mini sex toy doodads!

August 27, 2012
I think I can call this a legit collection now. Back in April, after jealously ogling everyone’s photos of the... Keep Reading
4-year blogiversary giveaway sex toy prizes
Giveaways

4-year blogiversary giveaway winners

October 29, 2012
Wow. I’m about 99% certain my 4-year blogiversary giveaway was the most successful giveaway in the history of this blog.... Keep Reading
LELO Mia 2 vibrator
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: bejeweled dildos and shell-shaped cock rings

December 17, 2012
It looks like Papaya Toys is finally releasing the Ice, a silicone dildo with an acrylic jewel embedded in one... Keep Reading
Fleshlight Flight with a fake Australian passport, because why not. It wants to travel.
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Flight

January 3, 2013
It is now quite nearly a fact: my boyfriend likes his Fleshlights plain. His first Fleshlight remains his unbeatable favorite because the... Keep Reading
Tenga Iroha vibrators
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: silicone paddles and self-lubricating vibrators

March 29, 2013
Tenga is breaking out of the masturbation sleeve box they’ve created for themselves, and are now making rechargeable vibrators. I... Keep Reading
Fleshlight Vibro sleeve out of its case, showing the bullet vibrators nestled into pockets of the sleeve.
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Fleshlight Vibro

June 18, 2013
I can’t get this website out of my head when I think about the Fleshlight Vibro. Granted, who hasn’t taken the... Keep Reading
Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.
Greatest HitsGuides

Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

November 15, 2013
If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased,... Keep Reading
Dee Lee Doo wooden dildos
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: a sex toy belt and a vibe that shoots water at your clit

December 4, 2013
Crowdfunding. Again. Always and forever. This time for wooden dildos, which, if you ask the creator, may just be the... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Amorino
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: long-distance sex toys and useless gimmicks

January 13, 2014
The BIG! NEWS! of the moment is LELO’s latest product, the Ora. It’s basically a re-imagined SaSi, which I gotta... Keep Reading
Orgasmatronics Ambrosia Vibe
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: kegel ball butt plugs and ornate dildos

June 25, 2014
I have to restrain myself from getting too excited about this, but Fun Factory is releasing a butt plug that... Keep Reading
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Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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