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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

Hitachi

The sex toy formerly known as the Hitachi, now the Magic Wand Original and Magic Wand Rechargeable. When I first got this toy in 2008, it left me with an itchy vulva and indifference. Now, especially in its rechargeable form, I really like it.

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(Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a fuzzy blanket.
Guest ReviewsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

A trans woman’s orgasm savior: the (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

January 16, 2017
The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, with its robust vibrations and large head, is known as an effective vibrator for all sorts of genital... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2016

December 31, 2016
2016 has been a trying, infuriating, exhausting year, and it seems trivial to jump straight to sex toys without acknowledging... Keep Reading
Ask Piph logo, with a sex toy forming the question mark.
Adventures in SquirtingAsk PiphGuides

Ask Piph #9

October 4, 2016
Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2015

December 31, 2015
What a year 2015 was! I showed my face on the internet and subsequently used it to prank all of you.... Keep Reading
A pile of Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrators, as it should be.
Giveaways

Orgasm giveaway winners!

August 22, 2015
DING — orgasm delivery! That pile of vibrators over there is soon to be distributed to five lucky winners: Elsie, Angel,... Keep Reading
Jumble of butt plugs in my sink.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #19

August 8, 2015
February 11, 2015 META JACK-OFF JOURNAL. After spending all day finishing Jack-off Journal #18, I gave it to Aerie to... Keep Reading
A pile of Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrators, as it should be.
Giveaways

600 posts = orgasm giveaway!

July 31, 2015
This is the 600th post on this blog. I got all sentimental when I hit 500 posts, so this time I’m going... Keep Reading
Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a zig-zag-patterned rainbow crocheted blanket.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

May 26, 2015
IS THAT A CORDLESS HITACHI????? —everyone on earth whenever I post a photo of the Magic Wand Rechargeable Yes. Yes,... Keep Reading
RECHARGEABLE! MAGIC WAND!
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: uncut dildos and a rechargeable Hitachi

February 18, 2015
If it seems like it’s been 5,000 years since Jimmyjane released something new, it has. Now, they have graced us... Keep Reading
Sex toy masturbation session note taking, with dirtied toys lying on top.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #18

February 11, 2015
April 2014 Sit down, friends. I would like to talk to you about incest. I’ve slyly alluded to it before, but this... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2013

December 31, 2013
2013 was a good year. I attended CatalystCon East AND CatalystCon West (even doing a panel), hit 500 posts, became a superhero, conducted my most elaborate April Fool’s... Keep Reading
Hitachi Magic Wand Original and its box, on a hardwood floor.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

December 3, 2013
I finally get the Hitachi. I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a... Keep Reading
Minna Limon vibrator
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: magnetic kegel balls and Hitachi’s shame

June 5, 2013
The “big” news this time is yet another crowdfunding project, for a vibrator called Limon. It’s made by Minna, makers... Keep Reading
Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rock Box

May 21, 2012
Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I... Keep Reading
Pleasure Works Deluxe G-spotter Hitachi Magic Wand attachment
Sex Toy Reviews

Review: Deluxe G-Spotter Hitachi attachment

January 9, 2012
It’s all fun and games until someone’s vag vibrates off. The Pop Tops Deluxe G-Spotter is my first ever Hitachi... Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

February 16, 2011
Tristan Taormino does incredibly important work with her Expert Guide series of porn movies. So many “how-to” movies are yawn-inducing, but... Keep Reading
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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

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