OKAY NOBODY MOVE

When you get one of these toys positioned, you better be ready to hold your breath.

Review: Rock Box

Review: Rock Box

Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I had to apply to review without knowing much beyond the fact that it was THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL SEX TOY!!!1!!1. Considering that phrase no longer means anything to me, undeterred and with a flourish, I wrote in the application box: I like to ROCK. And I have a lot of Aerosmith I could listen to whilst using the Rock Box. Apparently that was good enough, because Lovehoney sent me the Rock Box. Which is approximately ten times more ridiculous than I imagined it would be. The Hitachi is often called a power tool, but the Rock Box takes that shit to . . . read more

Review: SaSi

Review: SaSi

The SaSi is no longer in production. The closest approximation is the LELO Ora. There’s also the Womanizer. The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the block. It’s just like oral sex! It remembers what you like! Look at the rolly-ball go! It’s a technological wonder! And yes, the SaSi does look exciting. It features a mechanical ball about the size of a small gumball that moves around underneath a thin layer of 100% silicone. It has a “customize” mode in which the user can skip certain settings and press the “don’t stop” button on others. Over time, the toy remembers which settings were favored, . . . read more

The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

The Jimmyjane Form 2 was so close to perfect. Until it wasn’t anymore. I started noticing, while using the Form 2, that the vibrations shift. Seemingly out of nowhere, they migrate out of the ears — where they belong — and into the base. The motor starts whining loudly, and the vibrations on my clit become very diffuse and weak, so it’s nearly impossible to orgasm. This freak-out can only be rectified by pulling the toy away from the body. And this is not something that happens only sometimes. It happens constantly, rendering the Form 2 useless as a clitoral stimulator. Especially a $145 one. [Update, 02-15: Shawna at Sex Siopa had a new Form 2 sent to me in . . . read more

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