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orgasm ruiner

Whether on the build-up toward orgasm or during the orgasm itself, these toys made me rue the day I decided to have orgasms for a living — which is a pretty shitty accomplishment.

Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Durex Play Vibrations Focus

My boyfriend and I are big fans of Durex condoms. When we started having sex, we tried a few different...
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BanterSex Toy ReviewsToybox ReportsVibratorsWhine Time

The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

The Jimmyjane Form 2 was so close to perfect. Until it wasn’t anymore. I started noticing, while using the Form...
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Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Mimi

Everyone’s coming out with a cute little rechargeable clitoral stimulator these days. Jimmyjane released the Form 2 and Form 3;...
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Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rock Box

Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I...
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Lovehoney Flash USB rechargeable vibrator on top of a dictionary, open to the definition of "buzzy."
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Flash

The year is 2013 AD. Yet, eyes closed and knowing nothing, I could swear that the Lovehoney Flash is a tiny gourd...
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Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, and the tools to dismantle the patriarchy. (Fork and knife.)
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Cupcake

This sex toy is everything I hate. Cutesy. Twee. Pink. Girly. Symbolic. I want to chuck it into a river. So why am...
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Lovehoney Sqweel Go oral sex toy in a tiny casserole dish
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementSex Toy Reviews

Review: Sqweel Go

“IT’S SO GODDAMN CUTE,” I stammered upon opening the Lovehoney Sqweel Go. I actually cooed over it, like an idiot. I don’t normally care...
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Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Afterglow

I feel bad for celebrities. You’ll never hear me say that again. But they got the Afterglow in their goodie bags at the Oscars,...
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Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way,...
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Je Joue SaSi oral sex toy.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: SaSi

The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most...
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Greatest HitsKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Intensity

The Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used...
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Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand with Dual Exciter Rabbit Attachment
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Mini Magic Wand

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30%...
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Revel Body sonic vibrator... plus jump drive and "competitor model."
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Revel Body

I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that...
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LELO Smart Wands, black with silver handles, lying on a hardwood floor.
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any...
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Black LELO Ora (original), blue LELO Ora 2 on a hardwood floor.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Ora 2

I wish the entirety of this review could just be the word no. Not even repeated for emphasis, not even in...
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Me in my Princessa video review
April Fool's!Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Video review: Princessa

In the past month, I’ve lost the ability to form full sentences. My fingers have forgotten how to type, settling only...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

We-Vibe Rave rechargeable app-compatible G-spot vibrator on a reflective table.

Review: Rave

Vintage vibrators: the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator (top), Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager.

Review: Vintage vibrators

Holding the key to dildo mansion.

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

Fun Toys G-Vibe, a purple dildo with a split shape, creepin' on the neighbors through the blinds.

Review: G-Vibe

Review: Rider

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