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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

silicone

Silicone is the premiere soft body-safe sex toy material. It’s the best because it’s non-porous, odorless, and exceedingly easy to clean. But beware of sex toy packaging claiming a toy is 100% silicone, as it may not be. Only trusted companies such as Tantus, Vixen Creations, LELO, Fun Factory, Je Joue, Jimmyjane, and We-Vibe use pure silicone for all their toys.

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Fun Factory Corsar rechargeable vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Corsar

November 26, 2007
Corsar is my first 100% silicone toy, and I have to say, I am delighted. I’ve heard all the gushing about... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Sally Seal

February 1, 2008
There’s no denying the cute factor of the Fun Factory Sally Seal. While some people may think animal shaped vibes... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Delight rechargeable silicone G-spot vibrator
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Delight

April 18, 2008
I feel like I have been waiting a zillion years to get my hands on the Delight. The moment I... Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Buddy

July 4, 2008
Buddy came to me as if from outer space — sitting upright inside a plastic tube. A blurb on the... Keep Reading
Coffee and the Tantus Goddess
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Goddess

October 8, 2008
With a 30% off coupon, I have bought my very first 100% silicone watch-battery-using dildo. It is, fittingly, named Goddess.... Keep Reading
Anal ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Ripple (small)

November 15, 2008
I knew the Tantus Ripple would be amazing. How? Well, for one, Tantus can do no wrong; their toys are... Keep Reading
Jollies Mr. Man blowjob dildo, with a hole through the shaft for transferring suction to the wearer.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, NoSex Toy News

A revolutionary cock

November 19, 2008
Sometimes I talk about the future of sex toys whimsically, hopefully, as though all toys will one day be made... Keep Reading
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Ophoria Pleasure No. 6

November 21, 2008
Today the mail guy brought me the Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 dildo. I was surprised to find that it is... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Silicone Bliss

December 3, 2008
Silicone, eh? Is that so? Really? I don’t believe you. You are California Exotic; you do not do this. You... Keep Reading
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Pleasure No. 6

December 5, 2008
It is always exciting to get a new toy from a company I’ve never heard of. Especially when that toy... Keep Reading
The LELO Ella, a white dildo with a flat tip, lying on a dark blue sheet. It is slightly wet.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?DildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Ella, and my first ejaculation

December 11, 2008
You always remember your first. And I’m proud to say that the LELO Ella is mine — the first toy to... Keep Reading
Penis ToysSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bo

January 20, 2009
Sheets of rain were coming down outside. It was about 7:30 p.m., completely dark, and I assumed it was too... Keep Reading
Fun Factory G-Twist
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: G-Twist

January 21, 2009
The first thing I noticed about the Fun Factory G-Twist was that it was quite large. The second thing I... Keep Reading
Sex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Gigi

January 31, 2009
Recently, I’ve been caught up in a passionate love and squirting affair with Ella, LELO’s pure silicone double-ended dildo with... Keep Reading
Greatest HitsHi, I love youKegel ExercisersSex Toy Reviews

Review: Luna Beads

February 3, 2009
I received the Luna Beads on a day near the end of the semester, a very cold day during which... Keep Reading
"The Industry"BanterFeaturesSex Toy News

Cal Exotic inches toward integrity

February 21, 2009
I’m a freak. The moment I heard that California Exotic Novelties launched a new website, I flew on over there.... Keep Reading
1 2 3 … 12

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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

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