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thick boi

Chunky, beefy toys to fill you up.

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Review: Benjamin Bond

When I began reviewing sex toys, my vagina was the biggest wimp. I was still a virgin, after all, and...
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Papaya Toys Candy Stick
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Review: Candy Stick

Things that I like: green toys, toys that look like ice cream. But I’ve tried one before, the Fun Factory...
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DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Astrovibe

I knew I had to have the Astrovibe the moment I saw it. It did not matter what size it...
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Vixen Creations VixSkin Johnny realistic dildo
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Review: Johnny

I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will...
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Vixen Creations Outlaw realistic silicone dildo
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Outlaw

The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8...
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Tantus Cush O2 on a wooden table.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Cush O2

One night, as I was preparing to jack off, I decided I had to have the Tantus Cush O2. I...
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Silicone dildos standing upright and proud.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsGuidesMaking ProgressTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

A few weeks ago, I dusted the literal dust off a 2″-thick hunk of stainless steel, put on some porn,...
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NobEssence Seduction in Padauk wood, lying out in the sun.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Seduction

It’s been three years since I reviewed the NobEssence Seduction (oh my god, I’m OLD), and in that time, my...
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NobEssence Seduction among some green leaves.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Seduction

The S-shaped NobEssence Seduction looks more like a beautiful decorative sculpture than a dildo. Made of Purpleheart wood and sealed with...
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Vixen Creations Randy dildo in the chocolate color, chilling with some moss on my patio.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

Review: Randy

Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My vagina is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.”...
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Limited edition tie dye Maverick. My first one was a flesh tone.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Maverick

I used to be frightened of realistic dildos. The flesh tones, the veins, the balls — all of it. It...
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njoy Eleven stainless steel dildo
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Eleven

I don’t normally have sexual dreams, but I’ve had dreams about the njoy Eleven. They were always incredible jack-off sessions...
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Good Vibes Rippler dildo on concrete.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rippler

The Pleasure Works Rippler is like what the Tantus Echo wants to be when it grows up. It is a...
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Fun Factory Big Boss G5 rechargeable vibrator on a wooden table.
Hi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Big Boss G5

The Fun Factory Big Boss is seriously orange. Across the room, day-glo, Manic Panic, atomic, toxic waste orange. Of course,...
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Vixen Creations Buck dildo with a bunch of bananas. Accordingly, the dildo has a Chiquita sticker on it that says NATURAL NUTRITION.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Buck

Is there a VixSkin oversaturation point? I now own seven things made out of this dual-density silicone, yet I’m still...
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Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon large glass dildo on rough cement.
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: G-Spoon

I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake. The dildo comes, of course,...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

A sex blogger's desk: dildos, coffee, laptop, etc.

The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 2: Mom, I’m a sex blogger

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Movie Night: The Girl Next Door

Pop Shot: Beer Lube

Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.

Review: Tiny Dildos

Magic Banana kegel exerciser and dildo, surrounded by plastic letters from the Bananagrams game spelling out "EMPOWERMENT."

Review: Magic Banana

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