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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

    Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

    Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

    A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

    Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

    A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

    Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
  • Random

Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is a badass sex educator, author, and pornographer. She created the Chemistry porn series that kinda changed my life, and much more awesome porn.

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  • Latest
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  • A to Z
The Big Book of Sex Toys
BooksSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Big Book of Sex Toys

March 5, 2010
Reading The Big Book of Sex Toys, I learned that it’s hard to read a book about subject I already...
Keep Reading
Giveaways

Blogiversary blowout: oodles of sex toys

October 6, 2009
Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of this here blog, so of course, I wanted to give out some presents! I...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Rough Sex

August 23, 2009
So we’ve already established that rough sex, when directed and shot by genius pornographer Tristan Taormino, is hot as fuck....
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men

July 19, 2009
What am I gonna do with you, Tristan Taormino? Really, if you keep making innovative and hot porn like this,...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Rough Sex, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex

June 19, 2009
In trying to articulate what makes much of Tristan Taormino’s porn so great, I’ve decided on this: she pushes her...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Threesomes, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
PornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes

May 21, 2009
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes begins with a lesson from Tristan, about nine minutes long. As you might imagine,...
Keep Reading
Chemistry Vol. 1 porn DVD by Tristan Taormino, lying on an orange blanket with a container of arousal cream on top.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

New arrival: Chemistry 1 and Cleopatra’s Secret

October 25, 2008
I think my boyfriend has discovered the secret to giving me gifts: all sex toys! For my birthday, he got...
Keep Reading
DVD cover of Chemistry Vol. 3, porn film directed by Tristan Taormino
Hi, I love youPornSex Toy Reviews

Review: Chemistry Vol. 3

January 16, 2008
Um, can Tristan Taormino make one of these per year until I die? I dare say she’s found the gold...
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1 2

Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

Review: OhMiBod

Sex toys drying on the kitchen counter.

A day in the life of a sex toy reviewer

iVibe Massager phone app

Review: iVibe Massager phone app

iGino partying with a tequila shot,.

Review: iGino One

Graphic showing me and Sid from the video, plus a shot of me suctioning skin on my hand, and a photo of the clit pump itself.

Video review: a trans + cis conversation on clit pumps

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