It’s time to shut the dildo carnival down, folks. We’ve eaten a lot of corn dogs, played a bunch of games, and indulged in various carnival attractions, and now I get to hand out all the sex toy prizes. Of which there are MANY! Below, I’ve listed the winners of the mini giveaway attractions, followed by the rest of the giveaway winners. All giveaway winners have been contacted. If you didn’t win something, don’t despair: Black Friday is next week, and as usual I’ll be publishing a post featuring all the best sex toy sales. Sign up for my newsletter to stay in the loop, or keep an eye on my Twitter. 🔮 MAGIC SHOW   For the chance to win a Magic Wand Rechargeable, . . . read more

Pretty lights; sweet, crispy deep-fried dough; the rush of adrenaline as you narrowly escape with your life — there’s just something magical about carnivals. So, to celebrate 11 years of sex toy blogging, I decided to throw a DILDO CARNIVAL! Where instead of winning a lousy stuffed animal you didn’t really want anyway, you can win a fancy sex toy of your choice. [All graphics by the amazing Aerie.] In this carnival, I’m giving away the best sex toys on earth — as judged by my discerning genitals. I’ve got everything from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a porn membership for the pervs! There are . . . read more

Did you hear? I’ve partnered with one of my newest affiliates, Spectrum Boutique, to spoil you AND a friend with amazing sex toys! Spectrum is a hip Detroit-based online sex shop run by Zoë Ligon dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion. They are rad and they stock many of my favorite things, so it was very easy to put together a bundle of fantastic products to give away. Each winner can choose between this bundle or $200 to spend at Spectrum! The bundle includes the legendary njoy Pure Wand G-spotting dildo, powerful We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe, and a bottle of body-safe lube from Sliquid! (Sidenote: I’m getting to a point where I have to photoshop scratches off my Pure Wand. . . . read more

Recently, somebody pointed out to me just how far my giveaways have come. An old giveaway from the early days of my blog fetched 30 entrants, which at the time was impressive. Now, here I am writing a wrap-up post for my most recent giveaway, Rock your G-spot, which garnered over 2,000 individual entrants. W. T. F. Of course, this time I was giving away something much much cooler: 8 self-thrusting Stronic G toys from Fun Factory. But still, I’m forever amazed at the response, and especially the amazing artistic entries. SO MANY GOOD ONES, you guys! I’m excited to share them with you here. So, here’s how all the winners shook down. All have been contacted and confirmed. Random winners: . . . read more

Hey, friend, how’s your G-spot doing lately? Still real, despite what the media says? Perhaps feeling a bit drab, a little understimulated? Or is it in a good mood, but always hungry for more? Looking for a sex toy that does pretty much all the work of hitting it? I GOTCHU. Just a few months ago, I crowned Fun Factory’s Stronic G pulsator the best sex toy of 2017. Its automated back-and-forth thrusting motion and perfectly-hooked tip are a G-spotting dream, causing me to squirt with very little effort. Now it’s 2018, a new year, and the perfect time for you to form a closer bond with your G-spot.1 But the Stronic G retails for $200, not exactly cheap, so I’M GIVING . . . read more

That’s it! The hugest sex toy giveaway of the year is over, and I have awarded all 100-ish prizes to the winners! (Yeah, I have so many prizes now I’ve lost count. What a world.) THANK YOU ALL for making the whole thing a roaring success — by commenting on my posts with sweet words, by sharing the giveaway on social media, by following Boris’ clues, and just for generally being amazing readers and followers over the years. The reason I’ve amassed so many prizes is because I want to give away as many as possible to you fine people. Sadly I can’t give you all free sex toys, but Black Friday is this week, and as usual I’ll be keeping you . . . read more

Hi, hello, I’m commemorating 10 years of sex blogging with the most extravagant sex toy giveaway I’ve ever done. I’m giving away 80+ of the best sex toys ever made, as judged by my discerning vagina. Then, because that wasn’t enough, there’s a grand prize pack of my very favorite products worth over $1,000 — with 10 runners-up. SO MANY WINNERS. [All graphics by the wonderful Aerie.] Peeps, I’ve got everything here from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products and BDSM implements, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a porn membership for the pervs! There are even a bunch of “winner’s choice” prizes, where you can win any toy you desire from the catalogs . . . read more

My fanaticism for menstrual cups borders on religious. I’ve been using them almost exclusively for about 4 years now, and the honeymoon, um, period, has yet to wear off. I honestly can’t think of many other products that have improved my quality of life in the same way — I’d say menstrual cups are easily the best non-dildo thing to ever inhabit my vagina. I’ve amassed a small collection. To those unfamiliar, a menstrual cup is a bell-shaped receptacle worn vaginally, against the cervix, to collect period blood. Most are crafted from resilient, body-safe silicone, making them a more eco- and wallet-friendly alternative to pads and tampons. Although sex toy companies peddle stuff that goes in bodily orifices, and many of them . . . read more

I’m exhausted, y’all. Turns out, awarding over 50 sex toy prizes to over 50 different people is tiring! But I’m also stunned and humbled: over 5,000 individual human beings entered my huge annual giveaway. Thank you, all of you, especially those who left sappy comments on the post. I know I bribed you into saying nice things, but every nice thing still means a lot to me. I wish I could give all of you the sex toys of your dreams, but at least Black Friday is this week, and I vow to faithfully keep you updated on the best sex toy deals in all the land. Here are the winners. All have been notified and confirmed. Until my next . . . read more