The best prices youā€™ll find all year, plus exclusive deals and free stuff!

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!
GOBBLE GOBBLE, peeps. This is it: my annual list of the best sex toy deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, I suggest getting it now. Discounts like these don’t happen on such a grand, sweeping scale at any other time of the year. Best of all?...
Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.
We shivered in our seductive outfits. It was October, two days before my birthday, in a damp backyard. Party attendees were trickling in, dodging the drizzling rain as they embarked upon their COVID tests. We made small talk as we awaited our results, eyeing each others’ silhouettes. What’s small talk and what’s flirtation? Here, the line is fuzzy. That’s what makes it...

Favorite sex toys EVER

Iā€™ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

Iā€™m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Je Joue SaSi oral sex toy.
The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the...
Afterglow PulseWave vibrator showing off its useless laser light energy.
I feel bad for celebrities. You’ll never hear me say that again. But they got the Afterglow in their goodie bags at the Oscars, and this is not what...
Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo
I wanted to feel the sensation of water sloshing in my vagina. Like theĀ refreshing feeling of wading into the ocean. Like the satisfaction of tilting...
Magic Banana kegel exerciser and dildo, surrounded by plastic letters from the Bananagrams game spelling out "EMPOWERMENT."
Have you ever looked at a jump rope, bike lock, thighmaster, or lasso and thought, “oh hey, I bet that’d be good in my vagina”? Yeah,...

Ancient Post Randomizerā„¢

I canā€™t be held responsible for what you find here. Iā€™ve been blogging for over 15 years, yo.