Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!”

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

How to pick out a sex toy gift

My guide to not fucking it up.

Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own hundreds of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for many years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises.... Keep Reading
Announcements

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

GOBBLE GOBBLE, peeps. The time has come again, and my yearly tradition is back: a comprehensive list of the best sex toy deals during Black Friday and Cyber Monday! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, now is your chance. Discounts like these don’t happen on such a sweeping scale at any other time of the year. Fill up your cart and also your orifices. As always, I have exclusive codes you […]... Keep Reading
more recent posts

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

see all my favorites

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo

Review: Ceramix No. 4

I wanted to feel the sensation of water sloshing in my vagina. Like the refreshing feeling of wading into the ocean. Like the satisfaction of tilting... Keep Reading

Review: SaSi

The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the... Keep Reading
Fun Factory Volta rechargeable vibrator hanging out in a glass bowl of sea glass.

Review: Volta

I’m not the type to chase adventure. Some people hop on roller coasters, travel to far-off lands, skydive out of planes… but I don’t pine... Keep Reading
browse my greatest hits

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

gimmie more snark

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.