The best prices you’ll find all year, plus exclusive deals and free stuff!

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!
GOBBLE GOBBLE, peeps. This is it: my annual list of the best sex toy deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday! If you’ve been waiting to buy the vibrator, dildo, or butt plug of your dreams, I suggest getting it now. Discounts like these don’t happen on such a grand, sweeping scale at any other time of the year. Best of all?...
Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.
We shivered in our seductive outfits. It was October, two days before my birthday, in a damp backyard. Party attendees were trickling in, dodging the drizzling rain as they embarked upon their COVID tests. We made small talk as we awaited our results, eyeing each others’ silhouettes. What’s small talk and what’s flirtation? Here, the line is fuzzy. That’s what makes it...

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Minn kGoal kegel exerciser vibrator and my Android phone
Recently my partner admitted that, while fingering me, he wondered, is it possible to break someone’s fingers with a vagina? So I’m being up front...
Wahl, Hitachi, Rock Box
Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I had to apply to review...
Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a...

Ancient Post Randomizerā„¢

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over 15 years, yo.