Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

Not something you hear often, is it? But it’s true: for over a decade, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet. Highly trusted and well-known for my snarky yet authentic sex toy reviews, I’ve been called “the Samantha Bee of our nether regions.” Welcome to Hey Epiphora, where the lube flows like wine, the G-spot isn’t a mystery, and masturbation sessions frequently end with me wondering, “did humans even test this?!”

Not sure where to begin?

Dive into my sex toy reviews or my greatest posts, visit my 700+ sex toy collection, skip straight to my all-time faves, peruse my FAQ, or go shopping.

Giveaways

Masturbation memories: a sex toy giveaway (50 prizes!)

Here we are, in the formerly-futuristic year 2021, and it’s been 14 years since I sat in my college dorm room and typed up my very first sex toy review. My blog is now a teen, the same age I was when I fell in love with a girl for the first time. Should I be asking my blog about its sexuality? Honey, you know you can come to me with anything. I could yammer on about how different everything […]... Keep Reading
more recent posts

Favorite sex toys EVER

I’ve put hundreds of things on/in/around my genitals, so it means a lot to make it here.

see all my favorites

Greatest hits

I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.

Review: Stronic G

Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a... Keep Reading
Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, and the tools to dismantle the patriarchy. (Fork and knife.)

Review: Cupcake

This sex toy is everything I hate. Cutesy. Twee. Pink. Girly. Symbolic. I want to chuck it into a river. So why am I reviewing it? Oh, I... Keep Reading
Vibratex Princessa standing up on a marble table.

Video review: Princessa

In the past month, I’ve lost the ability to form full sentences. My fingers have forgotten how to type, settling only for clicking and dragging while... Keep Reading
Aneros Evi kegel exerciser on top of a cream-colored knit fabric.

Review: Evi

I’m on edge, watching my every move. Like the first day on a new job. Like the feds are after me. Like a driving test.... Keep Reading
browse my greatest hits

Daily dose of snark

When you just need some righteous rage. So, every day?

gimmie more snark

Ancient Post Randomizer™

I can’t be held responsible for what you find here. I’ve been blogging for over a decade, yo.