A sex blogger's desk: dildos, coffee, laptop, etc.

I’ve been blogging and reviewing sex toys for over 15 years, and along the way I’ve developed some ornery things known as “opinions.” Whether I’m singing the praises of an innovative new sex toy or decrying a company’s illegible site design, I always have thoughts and I don’t hold them back. I’m like Dr. Phil, only I’m actually right.

Now you can benefit from my savvy blogging skills and my inability to sugarcoat anything I say! Hire me to consult with you about your sex toy business, and I can help you make smarter business decisions, design a sex toy that doesn’t suck, lure in (and keep) customers/readers, monetize your blog, and much more. My consulting work has received glowing reviews and testimonials from big name clients such as Fun Factory, Dame, OhMiBod, nd Tantus.

Are you a sex toy shop or manufacturer? Maybe you’re…

  • Building an online shop and want my thoughts on site design, functionality, product selection, and branding? (Ask me about my Sex Shop Spruce-Up Package!)
  • Developing a new sex toy and want me to prototype test it and give you my opinion privately instead of publicly and irrevocably ripping it to shreds? Yes, I will test your toy on a real life, highly discerning vulva! A vulva that has seen many more sex toys than your friend’s wife’s vulva.
  • Wondering how to meaningfully interact with your potential customers on social media (hint: not every tweet needs to be a FUN SEX FACT), or how to work harmoniously and beneficially with bloggers? I can help!
  • Unsure of how to market to women without being condescending? Offend me first before you offend the general public!

Are you a sex blogger? I have online coursework specifically for you, or I can consult with you individually. Perhaps you…

  • Need someone to install WordPress, find plugins to do your bidding, and tweak things in your blog’s backend that have been bugging the shit out of you?
  • Want a no-nonsense critique of your site’s design and overall usability? I’ll give you the tough love you need to change the things that are frustrating your readers.
  • Need to go beyond my 15 rules for writing a sex toy review and publish well-written posts that people actually love — and that you can be proud of?
  • Want to become a boss at utilizing affiliate links and making money (not just free dildos) with your blog? As someone who made $3.99 in her first year of blogging and has now built a lucrative career doing this, I can show you it’s possible.

These are just a few ideas, but let your mind go wild. Check out testimonials from folks who’ve worked with me below.

So, what can I do to help your business?

Tell me what you want from me and I’ll let you know if it’s a possibility. Email me at hey.epiphora [at] or use the contact form below and let’s talk!


Now, onto people saying nice things about my brain…

In our industry, it’s vital to focus on the end consumer first and foremost, and Epiphora’s insight as a reviewer and consultant has helped us at Fun Factory do that in multiple areas, from marketing content to product development. Her thoughtful, thorough and constructive feedback has been invaluable as we move toward using more inclusive language while remaining accessible to global customers at different levels of knowledge and experience. Plus, she’s always quick to reply!

—Kristen Tribby, Fun Factory

As a new online boutique, making a great first impression matters. This is precisely why we partnered with Epiphora. We wanted an expert opinion on our site experience so we could make adjustments before the shop went live. Thankfully, Epiphora had us covered with her Sex Shop Spruce-Up Package. She provided us with candid feedback, actionable next steps, and recommendations for the future. Her level of detail is astounding — right down to typos and broken links! We are so grateful for the opportunity to work with Epiphora and are eager to work with her again.

—Chrissie Jemison, TWIXXT

Epiphora has given honest, thorough, and timely feedback to help with our new product development. We’ve consulted with her to get her opinions on a product category we were about to develop for, and then again as one of the early testers in helping us decide between product concepts. I think that what I was most struck by was her professionalism. She has a near encyclopedic knowledge of the offerings within the industry. She was able to separate personally disliking our first product from thinking that we’re garbage people who don’t care about female pleasure. She worked with us to figure out how to come up with a fee that was in line with what we were asking for, and when we had follow-up questions about her experience, she promptly answered and clarified for us.

—Janet Lieberman, Dame Products

Whether you are a blogger or website looking for effective assistance in a timely fashion or a sex toy manufacturer needing to craft a marketing message or hone a new product, Epiphora uses her vast experience to guide you to success. She’s a straight talker, dependable and always professional.

—Metis Black, Tantus

As a business owner it’s important to work with experts in the field and gather opinions and constructive criticism. When you work with Epiphora, you get that and more. She has a level of understanding and passion for this industry that makes her a valuable resource.

—Brian Dunham, OhMiBod

I LOVE how wonderfully outspoken and passionate Epiphora is. The world seriously needs more writers (and minds!) like hers. She is an important link between the adult industry, current events and integrating inclusive thinking into mainstream society. Her honest feedback helped me improve not just my product, but also my mindset, which is priceless!

—Justine Naiman, BOA Toys

Epiphora took me from knowing nothing about how to go about building a website for my work to having a fully-functional, good-looking & easy-to-manage website with impressive efficiency. She answered all of my questions quickly, thoroughly & patiently and made me feel confident and comfortable in my new web presence. Her advice was always sound while giving me plenty of space to exercise creative ownership over my work and the site’s appearance. She’s my go-to recommendation for people looking to get a website of their own, especially for my fellow sex educators & writers so we can “keep it in the family” in our unique industry that Epiphora knows so well.

Yana Tallon-Hicks, sex educator & writer

Epiphora is razor-sharp and a joy to work with. She’s able to quickly empathize with lots of different kinds of users and understand what would or wouldn’t resonate with them. Her frankness is refreshing and her ideas are the rare sort that clearly lead to action. We recommend her highly and without reservation!

Epiphora’s indispensable experience and advice probably saved me a small fortune. Seeking to expand my non-adult toy/consumer products business into the adult world, we had what we thought was a sure-fire brainstorm for a product. Just prior to putting considerable money into production, we consulted with Epiphora, who responded with a multitude of logical criticisms as to why it was neither novel nor practical, backed up with physiological and psychological reasons. Chagrined, we abandoned the project, but we are forever grateful that Epiphora prevented not only another bad product from entering the marketplace, but a significant loss of capital on my part.

Joe, NYC

My website has been a headache since the moment my business launched, but Epiphora facilitated my transition to a WordPress site painlessly and efficiently. Her fee was the best money I’ve ever spent on my business (and her prices are pretty reasonable!). I feel so much better about my site and am incredibly grateful to Epiphora for answering all of my questions, making sure I understood next steps, and keeping me accountable as I built my new site.

—Bianca Palmisano, Intimate Health Consulting

Epiphora assisted us during the development phase of our first sex toys. We are new to the adult toy space and our thrusting dildo is being well-received by users in part to the great feedback she provided us. Her consultation was thorough and conscientious. We appreciate her extensive history with adult pleasure products and will certainly look forward to working more together in the future.

—Alex Fima, The Thruster

There’s more to blogging than writing your thoughts… it’s so much work involved. If you need help with WordPress, Epiphora is AWESOME. I am EXCITED about how much better my blog functions, and the GREAT ideas. Epiphora is professional, effective and FAST!!! I found extensive value in services rendered.

—S., blogger at Pleasure Connoisseurs

Epiphora gave us extremely honest, valuable feedback about our new product. Because of her excellent reputation in the sexual product community, she was the first we chose to send our product to. Her review was prompt, professional, and very helpful for us. Thank you Epiphora — we highly recommend you.

—A&E, LubeLights

We worked with Epiphora when re-designing our site and her knowledge of the sex toy industry is impressive, from all sides. She provided valuable insights and feedback on the direction we were taking our business, while being friendly and very professional. Highly recommended!


Epiphora writes a great blog because she is smart. It comes though in her writing. It comes through in her consulting as well. Best of all, she will tell you what she can/can’t do for you and will deliver on her commitments.

—Jeff Spitzer, owner, Kissmet Designs

Epiphora’s swift, expert and incisive work helps me keep my business current and relevant in a very competitive field. I simply can’t do without her.

Elle Chase (AKA Lady Cheeky)

For all of us who aspire to having a web presence that involves reviewing these, the sexiest of toys (and those incredible misfires), there’s one person to emulate, and that’s Epiphora. I’ve often found myself with a tough decision, not knowing how to proceed with a sponsorship opportunity, a style of review, or the occasional typeface color issue, and she’s right there to help. She has inspired me to do better, and raises us all up. She doesn’t pull her punches, but a positive comment from her means the world. We could all do with some coaching from Epiphora.

—Cooper Beckett, blogger at Life on the Swingset

Epiphora’s help has been invaluable to the growth of She has a knack for knowing exactly what a site needs to make it that little bit better and make you think “How on earth did I not think of that?!” From spotting areas in need of improvement to teaching me how to make things cleaner, faster, and prettier she has made my site so much better and made me understand working on it so much more.

—JoEllen Notte, blogger at The Redhead Bedhead

Epiphora’s no-nonsense approach and timely, clear communication made setting up my portfolio website a breeze. I was a bit unsure as to what I wanted, but after some email trading she customized a WordPress theme into something that I’m proud to show off and made the setup a painless process, though I’d never worked with the system before. I’d enthusiastically recommend her and if I have any future tasks I’ll work with her again in a heartbeat.

Lily O’Riley, model

I hired Epiphora to do a thing on my site, and within hours she had done it. Whereas when I hired someone else to do that same thing, months later they still hadn’t done anything.

—Lorax, blogger at Lorax of Sex