[From Crash Pad, one of the best sites on the internet for feminist porn, censored to protect Tumblr’s delicate sensibilities.] As I write this, sipping a chestnut praline latte at my local Starbucks, I know I’m living on borrowed time. Last week, Starbucks caved to pressure from an anti-porn organization and announced that starting in 2019, they will be blocking “pornography and illegal content” on their wifi networks. This, of course, means the salacious and utterly disgraceful sex toy review blog you are currently reading will likely become inaccessible. Then yesterday, Tumblr hammered the final nail in the coffin of their increasingly-aggressive crusade against adult content, stating that such content will no longer be allowed on the platform. Yeah, on Tumblr, . . . read more

So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold, I’m not mentioned at all because some new bullshit study came out that had to trump everything. Also, they needed to make room for all those animated GIFs. I’m no scientist and I’m not in the business of picking apart studies, but I will say that its findings contradict several other studies which have previously shown that ejaculate contains zero or low levels of urea and creatinine. Its findings also go against several thousand million1 vagina-owners, including myself, who have reported that the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Also, WHO FUCKING CARES what the chemical make-up of the ejaculate . . . read more

[What happens when the media misrepresents squirting? Similar rage.] Less than a month ago we were attacked by headlines screaming that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and here we are again, with yet another news source “reporting” (I use that word quite loosely) on yet another “study” “proving” that the G-spot is a “myth” and EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND TOUCH YOUR CLITORIS. It’s not the first, and it will never be the last, but it’s the one that broke me. My soul has been cracking, little by little, each time this happens. Like that time a sex educator drew a question mark on an anatomy chart in place of a G-spot. That time a guy dared to write a book called What Do Women . . . read more

It’s a simple but horrifying question. Are we, as reviewers, protected from companies that may not like what we have to say about their product — and may overreact with legal threats? Considering how unabashedly cruel I can be, it’s astonishing that I never really looked into this question. Also astonishing: I’ve only ever had one small tangle over legal issues, and it was long ago. But due to recent events, I decided I wanted clearer answers than a bit of Googling could provide. So I reached out to Davis, attorney and founder of Sexquire. Davis was kind enough to answer all my questions — and surprisingly, her answers made me feel way better about continuing to massacre the products I . . . read more

Now that Hysteria’s come out, everyone has an opinion about vibrators. Many of which I ignore. But I had not really heard this particular argument from a woman before, and I was intrigued by its logic. Brandi Megan Granett is troubled, just troubled, that there’s an entire movie!!! devoted to the history of the vibrator, and that her Twitter timeline is full of links to sex toy-related news stories. This is all very upsetting! Because in her mind, fingers are better, and vibrator users are just brainwashed. I know I should let her have her little opinion in her corner of the internet, but… I have to say something. This shit bugs me because, while the article isn’t extreme or super . . . read more

[Edit, 11/29/15: Not a stand up guy at all, it turns out. Fuck James Deen.] BREAKING NEWS, everyone. LISTEN CLOSELY, especially if you are raising innocent little girls. I’ve just learned that James Deen, my/your favorite male porn star of all time, is very dangerous. He is a serious threat to our girlchildren. He is lurking in the shadows of the internet, infiltrating their Tumblr dashboards with his bedroom eyes. HE MUST BE STOPPED. Or, at the very least, awkwardly questioned on TV about his lasciviousness! “Porn Industry Attracting Teens?” is the headline for this segment of Nightline, because of course it is. ABC News clearly yoinked this story from an article in Good Magazine, but when re-told in alarmist video form, it gets . . . read more

A while back, I heard rumblings of some misogynistic fool named Jack Hutson emailing bloggers about his $47 blowjob ebook. We found his promo website, and there were fits of laughter and despair all over Twitter, because, well, look: The whole site is a condescending, badly-written plea to “girls.” According to all-knowing Jack, our men will leave us solely on the basis of a bad blowjob. That is why we must fork over $47 for his mind-blowing ebook. It is, after all, the only book you need to read this year. At one point, Jack discovered me and solicited me for a review. I told him he was a douche instead. Then he started making the rounds again, emailing my . . . read more

A while back, the craze of Formspring.me caught on within the sex blogging community. People were asking each other questions left and right. After grumbling like a bitter old person about it for a while, I became too curious about what people would ask me, so I got an account. Formspring does one thing and one thing only: Q&A. Having a narrow focus like that is good. I used to get some decent questions. Of course, Formspring is also a great forum for cyber bullies to make themselves feel important. Behold, my Formspring inbox at the end of March: “A sign of a true bully.” The irony. It burns. (And if anyone reading this is like “what’s EF?”… read this.) I . . . read more

Facebook hates sex bloggers1. This is well-established. They’ve disabled my account twice now. The first time, they told me I needed to create a fan page if I wanted to be promoting myself. So I did. This time, when they reinstated my account, they had a new and exciting reason for my account being disabled. Your account was suspended because you uploaded photo content that violated Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. This content has been removed from the site. Please review the guidelines below to prevent your personal account from being disabled in the future: • Do not send messages or post photos that contain nudity, graphic or sexually suggestive content. Yet their terms (which they helpfully suggested I . . . read more