Taylor Swift had two albums to her name. Instagram didn’t exist. We had yet to name our roman empires, show...
Banter
Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.
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It was a 30th birthday party unlike any other. The invitation read: Luxurious cuddles, siren’s songs, stroking, finger feeding, dancing,...
The world wants to know which household objects can be used as dildos. Pervs have been googling that, pants around...
Lora DiCarlo, the “sex tech” start-up that vowed to revolutionize the pleasure industry and pompously acted like the first to...
Having jacked off to pornographic material for two decades now, I think I’ve earned the title “porn connoisseur.” I’ve been...
The line between friend and sexual partner became blurred, and yet both were able to coexist in my mind. When...
Today I’m releasing exclusive tapes from last month’s masturbatory adventures. These are my intimate audio notes from out in the...
The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that’s looked like a sort of survivalist...
The party would change my life, but I didn’t know it yet. I went to the wrong house at first....
Fun Factory has been a trailblazer in the sex toy industry since their inception. They utilized silicone from the get-go,...
Sex shop floors, once bustling with customers, have morphed into makeshift staging areas for packing online orders. The display dildos...
In high school, words were my power. Nobody paid attention to me otherwise. I was a queer kid coming of...
TODAY IS THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ DAY, PEEPS! The day I’ve been fantasizing about for months — nah, let’s round that up...
The morning of my IUD insertion began with me desperately driving across town to retrieve a sex toy. I didn’t...
I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see. You email me under the guise of caring....
In middle school, while others played wall ball, I taught myself basic HTML. I was one of the kids staying...
