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Greatest Hits

My best work. I’m sure my writing teachers are very proud.

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & Rainbows

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

We shivered in our seductive outfits. It was October, two days before...
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Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective
April Fool's!BanterBlogger LyfeGiveawaysGreatest HitsShenanigans

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Taylor Swift had two albums to her name. Instagram didn’t exist. We...
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FeaturesGreatest HitsMovie Night

Movie Night: The Final Member

Your body is not ready for The Final Member. More than once...
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A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & Rainbows

Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

The line between friend and sexual partner became blurred, and yet both...
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Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsGuidesHi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy ReviewsSunshine & RainbowsVibrators

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for...
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Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterGreatest HitsShenanigansSunshine & Rainbows

Queer sex party chronicles: hi, I’m new here

The party would change my life, but I didn’t know it yet....
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Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: OhMyG

It freaks me out to imagine the questions sex toy shoppers of...
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A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see....
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Vintage vibrators: the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator (top), Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager.
April Fool's!Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Vintage vibrators

The inventor of the first electrical vibrator, doctor Joseph Mortimer Granville, called...
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Wobbling Willy, a magenta dildo with a bobble head attached.
FeaturesGreatest HitsHell Yes / Um, No

What, you don’t want a dildo with your boyfriend’s face on it?

Why wouldn’t you want this smug bastard smiling at you while you...
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The Jimmyjane Rumble Seat, a white plastic toilet-looking chair with a grey vibrating bump on top, standing in front of my sex toy closet.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rumble Seat

When you arrive at the sex party and present the guests with...
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A sex blogger's desk: dildos, coffee, laptop, etc.
BanterBlogger LyfeBreak Out the TissuesFeaturesGreatest HitsInterviewsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 2: Mom, I’m a sex blogger

The memory’s a bit of a blur now, but almost 7 years...
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Hot Octopuss Queen Bee oscillating rechargeable vibrator on a yellow polka dot plate.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Queen Bee

Me, masturbating: uh, don’t mind me, I’m just over here jamming this...
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Fun Factory Volta rechargeable vibrator hanging out in a glass bowl of sea glass.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youPenis ToysSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Volta

I’m not the type to chase adventure. Some people hop on roller...
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Slice of rainbow pride cake necklaces on a tie-dye fabric
BanterBreak Out the TissuesGreatest HitsSunshine & Rainbows

The things we’ve built

GAY BEACH GIRLFROND FUNTIMES SUPERBLORPS. That’s what our shared calendar said. We...
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G-Spot Rx vibrator, a rabbit-style vibe in clinical blue, with a strange little rub on the shaft that rocks back and forth.
FeaturesGreatest HitsHell Yes / Um, No

The world’s FIRST and only REAL G-spot toy! Ever!!!

Revolutionary! Game-changing! The best! The first! The only! Companies have been wailing such nonsense...
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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

Recent comments

Greatest Hits

njoy Pure Plugs (medium and large) in a jewelry box with a bunch of gaudy bracelets and rings.

Review: Pure Plugs

We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

Screenshot from the now-defunct Teddy Love crowdfunding video, of a woman touching a teddy bear's nose.

Um, No: Teddy Love

Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.

Review: Split Dildo

Review: Rider

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