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Whine Time

A headless man holding a Magic Wand and a realistic dildo toward the camera.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

To all the men wanting to talk their wives into sex toys

I can see through you, and I don’t like what I see. You email me under the guise of caring....
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Cards in a sex game called "Foreplay"
"The Industry"BanterDisingenuous AssholesFeaturesFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsHell Yes / Um, NoWhine Time

How not to design a sex game

Why are sex games so bad? This is an eternal question I ask myself regularly. I have a whole label...
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Sex toy reviewer spread: camera, laptop, to-do list, and sex toys everywhere.
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The secret truth about sex toy reviewing

“Holy shit, you masturbate for a living?!” This is how people often respond when I tell them what I do, and...
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Scare-tactic G-spot headlines complete with stock photos of women and feet.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot

Less than a month ago we were attacked by headlines screaming that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and here we are again,...
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My desk, covered in messy used dildos and vibrators, with a bottle of lube in the foreground.
BanterTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

This will be your life.

Look, I get it. You think this is a picture of a FUN FUN SUPER FUN night. I know —...
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Fun Factory vibrators looking just cute and blameless.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesWhine Time

So vibrators are disempowering now?

Now that Hysteria’s come out, everyone has an opinion about vibrators. Many of which I ignore. But I had not...
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BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesWhine Time

A dude’s solution to the problem of phthalates

Women! Have you been wondering how to avoid that pesky group of chemicals called phthalates that are often used to...
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Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!
BanterBlogger LyfeGreatest HitsGuidesSo You Wanna Be a Sex BloggerTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

There is no rulebook for writing sex toy reviews, but any longtime reviewer will tell you that there are definite...
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Lea Hart and Mona Wales on Crash Pad, and a pile of "obscene" sex toys
BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

When will we stop fearing sex?

As I write this, sipping a chestnut praline latte at my local Starbucks, I know I’m living on borrowed time....
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A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.
"The Industry"BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

There’s a glimmer of recognition that crosses someone’s face when I ask, “have you ever encountered a sex toy that...
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September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.
Adventures in SquirtingAnyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDisingenuous AssholesDon't Trust the HeadlinesGreatest HitsGuidesWhine Time

How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold,...
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My pink sex toys all together. YOU REPULSE ME.
BanterFeminism's Not a Dirty WordGreatest HitsWhine Time

The color most likely to send me on a murderous rampage

I hate pink. Always have. Based on pure shudder-factor, my aversion to pink ranks somewhere below my trypophobia but above my distaste...
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Pills spilled on an orange surface.
BanterGreatest HitsTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

The 2 weeks of my sex life I lost to Zoloft

My doctor was mildly amused when I told her that I run a sex toy review blog. “Some people experience...
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BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

Want to harass people and get away with it? Join Formspring

A while back, the craze of Formspring.me caught on within the sex blogging community. People were asking each other questions...
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Tristan Taormino lecturing at a university. Strangely, the room seems not to have exploded the moment she opened her mouth?
BanterDisingenuous AssholesWhine Time

Tristan Taormino and the hypocrisy of OSU

Yesterday I woke up to a very sad press release in my inbox. It announced that Tristan Taormino, sex educator...
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Broken Oreos. These are symbols of wild STD spread, don't you know?
BanterWhine Time

Oreos? Really?: My “sloppy seconds” sex ed experience

It started out innocently enough, with a girls-only presentation about periods in the fifth grade. On a super-secretive slip of paper,...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Split Dildo chillin' next to my coffee and mug warmer.

Review: Split Dildo

Lowe Aurora, a sex toy that provides "low-level laser treatments" to the vulva

This sex toy will “rejuvenate” your pitiful vulva for just $850

A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

Nasstoys' Masturbating Glove. It is fingerless, cream-colored, and COVERED IN SPIKES.

Um, No: Masturbating Glove (and everything else Nasstoys makes)

Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

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