Adventures in Squirting

Sometimes I accidentally squirt all over the floor.

Review: Carter

Review: Carter

I squirt every time I use the New York Toy Collective Carter. Movement or not. No matter the external vibe. Whatever my mood. If clitoral stimulation makes me come while the Carter is inside me, I gush. I’ll be just hanging out, about to have a completely ordinary orgasm or so it seems, when I feel the pressure building, urging me to slide the dildo out. Sure enough: an expulsion of fluid follows. It hardly ever feels like I’ve earned it, yet it happens, consistently as the sun rising and setting each day. Sneak-attack squirting. And oh, with movement? With actual thrusting? Then I’m ejaculating even more, soaking through the towel on my desk chair. Carter is a meaty dude. . . . read more

Ask Piph #9

Ask Piph #9

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most toys, the toy has to be pulled out at the exact right moment, after which the squirt follows. This is especially true with larger toys, or when it’s more of an accidental squirt during a clitoral orgasm — where I’m using a clitoral vibe and stimulating my G-spot, but not trying to ejaculate. There’s a build up of pressure and it feels like removing the dildo is the only way to release it. However, things are different when I’m on a serious squirt mission. . . . read more

How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold, I’m not mentioned at all because some new bullshit study came out that had to trump everything. Also, they needed to make room for all those animated GIFs. I’m no scientist and I’m not in the business of picking apart studies, but I will say that its findings contradict several other studies which have previously shown that ejaculate contains zero or low levels of urea and creatinine. Its findings also go against several thousand million1 vagina-owners, including myself, who have reported that the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Also, WHO FUCKING CARES what the chemical make-up of the ejaculate . . . read more

Postcards from the Peanut Gallery: Mustang

Postcards from the Peanut Gallery: Mustang

I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the breathtaking sense of wonder and accomplishment I’m feeling.” Unsurprisingly, the email was about squirting. Despite already owning and loving the G-spot god that is the Pure Wand, the letter writer experienced her first ever ejaculation with the unassuming Vixen Creations Mustang. See, I knew it would make a good beginner’s G-spotter! Aside from having the best screen name on earth, That Virgin Who Can’t Drive is also very adept at describing sensation. As it turns out, the Mustang pairs wonderfully with the Leaf Vitality vibrator… Okay, so, I’m still relatively new to toys and your blog has been indispensable in helping me to spend . . . read more

Ask Piph #6: Pure Wand edition

Ask Piph #6: Pure Wand edition

Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com. Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t heard of the Pure Wand, it is a solid, double-ended piece of stainless steel that many (including myself) regard as the G-spot’s/prostate’s savior. I get a lot of questions about it, so I decided to compile them all in one place. I’m buying a Pure Wand to use on myself (as a guy) but also with partners. I was wondering what tips you could give me on how best to use the toy after I’ve spoken to my partners about it. What sort of motion is best with . . . read more

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

A few weeks ago, I dusted the literal dust off a 2″-thick hunk of stainless steel, put on some porn, held a vibe to my clit, and easily slipped the big end of the 2.75-pound dildo into my vagina. Every so often, I check to make sure this is true. I am always slightly surprised when it is, but there’s no denying it anymore. My vagina is a black hole. A cave. A vagina of doom. This is quite normal for me now. But it certainly didn’t begin that way. In fact, it began exactly the opposite… with my vagina, as I described it, “as tight as a Chinese finger trap.” I used to laugh — especially when I first got . . . read more

Review: Décor Fascinator Throe

Review: Décor Fascinator Throe

The Liberator Décor Fascinator Throe is my third Liberator Throe. That tells you a lot, right there. I now have a Throe for every room I could possibly masturbate in, and for every sensation I could ever want to feel under my ass. Microfiber, shag, and now velvish — I’ve felt and squirted on them all. And all of them have held their glorious promise of keeping moisture from seeping through. Why did I want a third one? Honestly, I can never have enough Throes. Especially when I go to the closet and find that the cats have made one of them into the nesting material for their secret hide-out. Or when I need to go on a trip and have . . . read more

Review: Outlaw

Review: Outlaw

The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8 1/2″ tall, with a girth of 2″ and an insanely detailed shaft, there is no denying the Outlaw’s presence. Mine is in the delicious chocolate color, which is deep and rich — probably my favorite of the three available skin tones. I’ve had bigger with Vixen’s Randy (2 3/16″), but Outlaw has that combination of length and girth that can make a sex toy truly daunting. It actually obstructs the porn on my monitor when I set it out on my desk. Made of amazing VixSkin dual-density silicone, Outlaw is realistic to the max. It is extremely squishy, with a firm inner . . . read more

My love, the Pure Wand (+ a few tips!)

My love, the Pure Wand (+ a few tips!)

You have come here wondering if the njoy Pure Wand is deserving of its legendary status. If this parenthesis-shaped pound and a half of medical-grade stainless steel can indeed change your — and your G-spot’s — life. The answer is yes. Holy fuck, yes. Your G-spot will never be the same. You don’t even know. You can’t comprehend. Buckets of ejaculate. A parade of buckets, if that is your aim. And lots and lots of moaning. This dildo will alter your perception of sexual pleasure forever. Measly words can’t adequately describe what the Pure Wand feels like. This is the most intense, overwhelming sex toy I’ve ever used. It is heavy, concentrated, and unrelenting. It steals my breath. It messes with . . . read more