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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
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    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

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Guest Reviews

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New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer
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Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

July 15, 2020
I squealed when I first heard about the New York Toy Collective Jack. Billed as a 2-in-1 packer and stroker,...
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Video review: a trans + cis conversation on clit pumps

November 2, 2017
Whip out your genitals and prepare to get huge, y’all, because we’re doing something different today. It’s a video review!...
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(Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable vibrator on a fuzzy blanket.
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A trans woman’s orgasm savior: the (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

January 16, 2017
The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, with its robust vibrations and large head, is known as an effective vibrator for all sorts of genital...
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Bro Sleeve (Doc Johnson Helping Head masturbation sleeve) on fuzzy red and orange carpet.
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Guest Review: Bro Sleeve (Good Head Helping Head sleeve)

April 21, 2015
As exciting as my vagina is to you people, I know it’s not the be-all-end-all of genitals. There are certain...
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Vixen Mustang, photo by That Virgin Who Can't Drive
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Guest Review: Mustang

April 23, 2014
I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the...
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NobEssence Seduction in Padauk wood, lying out in the sun.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Seduction

August 6, 2013
It’s been three years since I reviewed the NobEssence Seduction (oh my god, I’m OLD), and in that time, my...
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Jopen Key Comet G Wand dildo balanced on top of a heart-shaped bowl, courtesy of Alex.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Comet G Wand

April 15, 2013
Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially...
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Jollies / LuzArte Jollet polka dot silicone dildo
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Guest Review: Jollet

November 8, 2012
The story of the Jollies Jollet is a long and strange one. I acquired and reviewed mine just as Jollies,...
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NobEssence Romp anal plug, lying on a craggy rock in the great outdoors.
Anal ToysGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Romp

March 29, 2011
I am unabashed about my love for the NobEssence Romp. I can’t help it if it’s the best butt plug...
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Purple aluminum dildo lying in the snow.
DildosGuest Reviews

Guest Review: Alumina Motion

June 23, 2010
Ah, the Tantus Alumina Motion. One of my favorite dildos. I gave one away in my blogiversary blowout, to an...
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Me holding the mighty Eroscillator, with the pillowy marshmallow attachment.
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Guest Review: Eroscillator

March 4, 2010
I’m not surprised that my insanely extensive and enthusiastic review of the Eroscillator resulted in several of my readers lusting...
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LELO Luna Beads kegel balls lying on white satin.
Guest ReviewsKegel Exercisers

Guest Review: Luna Beads

January 8, 2010
It was my glowing endorsement of the LELO Luna Beads that convinced Rachelle to get them. But beyond that, her job...
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Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

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Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

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