Guest Review: Alumina Motion

Purple aluminum dildo lying in the snow.

Ah, the Tantus Alumina Motion. One of my favorite dildos. I gave one away in my blogiversary blowout, to an awesome guy by the name of Jaye Valentine. Jaye is always tweeting about the Motion — even singing to me about it — and it always makes me smile. I asked Jaye to elaborate on his and his partner’s experiences with the Motion, and boy did he!

When asked what defines sex-toy happiness for me these days, I have only three words:


I won this toy during Epiphora’s one-year blog anniversary and seriously, this toy is my butt’s newest, bestest friend. When my partner (Hi, Reno!) wields this toy, you can bet on three things happening: a) the neighbor’s are going to complain about the noise, b) Jaye will be a smiling boy the next day, and c) whilst smiling, Jaye will be changing the sheets.

On the other hand, the times I’ve turned the tables and used the fondly nicknamed Shiny Purple Ass-Missile on Reno, sexual coma has ensued. Which is why I am writing this mini-review and not Reno. It’s much easier to jot down coherent post-ass-ramming reflections when one is not unconscious.

Man oh man oh man, does this puppy feel fucking good. The smoothness of the anodized aluminum is hard to describe, like some futuristic hybrid merging of steel and silk. The smaller end of the Motion doesn’t really do much other than provide a modicum of a handle, but the larger end is OMFG outstanding. While the girth of the widest point isn’t even all that impressive, the flared head at the larger tip provides a happy-place “bump” that’s pretty much out of this world. If it has a similar effect on the G-spot, it’s a wonder the owners of this toy ever leave the house.

There’s also something about the weight of this dildo that bears noting. It’s a very heavy toy compared to its size, and that weight causes some interesting — albeit quite different — sensations whether I’m on my back or on all fours.

Bottom line: not the biggest, but undoubtedly one of the best ass toys I’ve ever played with.

This whole account is so awesome. Sexual coma. Ass-ramming. Happy-place. I feel giddy for you guys. Keep on rockin’ the Shiny Purple Ass-Missile, Jaye and Reno!

And now we know the Motion works wonders in the ass as well as the vagina. One of the best dildos ever, y/y?

The Tantus Alumina line has been discontinued, but Crowned Jewels makes aluminum toys!