Progress is slow, yet quick. I’ve had this sex blogging gig long enough to have been around when the first rechargeable cock ring was released, and while a handful more have cropped up throughout the years (oh and never forget the LELO Pino, more known for its sleazy marketing tactics than its functionality), there haven’t been a ton of new rechargeable rings. Then suddenly, in a flurry, We-Vibe has released three new toys: the Pivot ($109), Verge ($119), and Ditto ($129). Two cock rings, one butt plug. All rechargeable. All app-responsive. Probably, knowing We-Vibe, all equipped with kickass rumbly motors?! This is good stuff. We-Vibe makes another butt plug already, the Dusk, but it doesn’t have an internal motor — its vibrational power comes from the addition of . . . read more

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more

Get free U.S. shipping at Hole Punch Toys with code EPIPHORA. There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone sex toys in fantastical shapes. Carrot and radish butt plugs. Popsicle dildos. Ice cream anal toys. Rocket ship strap-ons. And I didn’t even know they existed back when I got an email from them with the subject line Do Your Worst. Well. The owner of Hole Punch Toys, Colin, was emailing to ask that I review something of theirs. “You will absolutely tear it apart, I am sure,” he wrote. “However, I think it would be excellent fodder for your wit.” His certainty was alarming. How could I hate an ice cream shaped butt plug or a . . . read more

When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of that reaction was in response to the turquoise color option, but it’s not only that — this butt plug just has a cheerful, persuasive aura about it. However, now that I’ve had it in my soul, and vis-à-vis in my butt, I am stumped on how to describe the sensation it creates. With those ripples, you’d think it would be a pronounced, observable feeling — but my butt registers it mostly as size. (I can’t feel the color. Damnit.) The Boosty is the sequel to Fun Factory’s Bootie, which is my favorite silicone butt plug and part of my holy trinity of favorite plugs. It’s a tough act to follow. . . . read more

I can’t prove it — unless Google Talk instant message logs count as evidence — but I had this idea first. Rolly kegel balls in a butt plug? Oh yes. Years ago. You can imagine my delight when not one but two companies came out with products closely following my vision. You can imagine my despair when both of them failed me. The Marc Dorcel Geisha Plug was the first to let me down. First with the name, because NO. Second with the “diamond” base. Chintzy and laughable, it looks like one of those fake mirrors a Barbie would hold. But mostly with the sensation. The Geisha Plug’s bulb is smaller than a marshmallow, so it’s easily inserted… but something feels immediately, . . . read more

I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a vibrating butt plug. It looks like a butt plug. It functions adequately as a butt plug. But something compelled me to put this toy in my vagina, and it was absolutely one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Like, on par with buying my first mug warmer, or thinking “hm, maybe I’ll start a blog.” Immediately, the Tango vibrator in the base nestled up against my clit, so closely that it seemed there was a chance of bringing myself to orgasm without touching anything. Just sitting there like a blob. Could I do it? I gripped the Dusk with my PC muscles, pulling it . . . read more

Want a fantastical dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn or tentacle? This is your last chance. [Edit, years later: another company makes unicorn horns now, and you can probably find a tentacle on Etsy.] It appears that Maine-based Whipspider Rubberworks is dead. SheVibe tried to place a re-stock order with them last April, and haven’t heard from them since. Whipspider’s Etsy store is empty and they haven’t posted on Facebook or Twitter since March. I emailed them but have not heard back. It is looking grim. [Edit: their site is gone now, too.] This is really upsetting because there is no other company quite like Whipspider. Their 100% silicone designs are colorful, whimsical, and incredibly detailed. You can tell that a lot . . . read more

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises. Today, I was on Sex Out Loud Radio telling the universe all about my top sex toy gift ideas — plus my tips for picking out a sex toy for someone else. As an accompaniment, here’s the written version — along with photos of the toys and links to my reviews. Where should you shop? My favorite stores are . . . read more

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. I was wondering if you’ve ever had an allergic reaction to any of your toys, or what you might suggest someone do if they did? (Other than buying 100% silicone/using a condom/etc. What if it’s too late, and they realize they’re having a reaction, what should they do?) I’ve never experienced any sort of reaction to a toy, so I had to phone friends on this one. Thanks to Metis Black, InsatiablyTaken, Beck, Lorax of Sex, Dangerous Lilly, septicidal, and many others on Facebook for their enormous help. Also, please remember that I am nowhere near a doctor. If you have washed the toy before use, what you will most . . . read more