4-year blogiversary giveaway — 15 prizes!

4-year blogiversary giveaway sex toy prizes

Four motherfuckin’ years, my friends. That’s how long this blog has been chugging along. If you know me at all, you know I’m a fan of throwing epic blogiversary giveaways each October to thank everyone for following my escapades, and this year is no different. Well, except it’s even BETTER than years past, because I have rounded up FIFTEEN PRIZES for y’all.

As always, I am only giving away toys I’ve tried and loved, with the brief exception of the Tantus Pack ‘n Play No. 2 which I’m sure is awesome, and the Fleshlight which I do not have a cock to behold with. I also tried to wrangle a range of items: vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, a masturbation sleeve, a packer, and even a harness, so hopefully there is something that calls your name. Some prizes are also open to international readers! Yes!

Here’s what you need to do. Scroll through the list, ogle the photos, and decide which toy you want to enter for (yes, you have to choose just one — pick the one you want the most!). Make sure it can be shipped to your country. Write down its name if you are prone to forgetfulness. Then fill out the Rafflecopter form at the bottom and cross yer fingers.

I’ve broken it down into international vs. U.S. (and sometimes Canada) for ease of… everything.

Open to everyone / international readers

Tantus Splash

The Tantus Splash, donated by Tantus. A highly-textured masterpiece of dual colors. There’s nothing I could tell you that would give you a better idea of this toy’s glory than the fact that I QUOTE THE BIBLE IN MY REVIEW OF IT.

Open to international readers — you agree to pay customs/duties fees if applicable.

LELO Luna Beads

The LELO Luna Beads, donated by LELO. I’ve tried a lot of vaginal balls since I got my Luna Beads in 2009, yet nothing has ever topped them. So I was like “fuck it, I’m giving away Luna Beads again.”

Open to international readers!

Crystal Delights Star Delight

The Crystal Delights Star Delight, with the winner’s choice of Swarovski crystal color, donated by Crystal Delights. One of the only glass dildos you’ll ever need. Just look at it.

Open to international readers!

Tantus Ryder

The Tantus Ryder, donated by Tantus. This is one solid motherfuckin’ butt plug. Perfect for a full sensation but comfortable enough to wear for long periods of time.

Open to international readers — you agree to pay customs/duties fees if applicable.

Jollies / LuzArte Jollet

The Jollies / LuzArte Jollet, donated by LuzArte. This is another one that I tried years ago and still haven’t gotten over. It is a rigid, G-spotting dream, and comes in sparkle, polka dot, and even skull iterations, which the winner will get to choose from.

Open to international readers!

Tantus Cush O2

The Tantus Cush O2, donated by Tantus. It stimulates the front walls of my vagina amazingly with its dual-density material and impeccable design. You can even have it in pink if you are insane so desire.

Open to international readers — you agree to pay customs/duties fees if applicable.

Tantus Pack 'n Play No. 2

The Tantus Pack ‘n Play No. 2, donated by Tantus. The world needs more hygienic packers, and this one looks fantastic.

Open to international readers — you agree to pay customs/duties fees if applicable.

Open to U.S. readers only (and sometimes Canada)

njoy Pure Plugs

The njoy Pure Plug, in your choice of size, donated by SheVibe. Um. Yeah. Basically, everyone who is into anal play needs one of these plugs. They are incredible little things.

Open to readers in the U.S. or Canada only.

Vixen Creations Mustang

The Vixen Creations Mustang in NEON GREEN, donated by Vixen Creations. IT’S NEON GREEN. And it’s made of VIXSKIN, one of my favorite materials of ALL TIME. Can you tell I’m a little excited?

Open to U.S. readers only.

Kelly Shibari Fleshlight

The Kelly Shibari Fleshlight , donated by Fleshlight. Molded after badass BBW icon Kelly Shibari, this Fleshlight features the Lotus inner texture meant to mimic the vaginal canal. I want to touch it.

Open to readers in the continental U.S. only.

We-Vibe Touch

The We-Vibe Touch, donated by We-Vibe. It may look like a potato, but it’s actually an awesome and rumbly clitoral vibe that really surprised me. Plus it comes in TEAL, but I won’t judge you (too much) if you choose one of the other colors.

Open to readers in the U.S. or Canada only.

Fun Factory Big Boss

The Fun Factory Big Boss, in epic orange, donated by She Bop. If internal vibrations are what you crave, oh, oh, you need this. Just remember, it is a beast.

Open to U.S. readers only.


The Leaf Life, donated by Babeland. Pinpoint clitoral stimulation is this vibe’s specialty, although it’s pretty good at disguising itself as a leaf also.

Open to U.S. readers only.


The Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness in your choice of size and color, donated by Early to Bed. In my opinion, it’s only harness a person really ever needs. It’s so comfortable you’ll forget you’re wearing it.

Open to U.S. readers only.

Vixen Creations Leoweenie

The Vixen Creations Leoweenie, donated by Vixen Creations. Or you can call it by its street name, BATCOCK. Just in time for Halloween. A good way to make sure the kids never return to your house for candy?

Open to U.S. readers only.


Deadline: October 20th, 2012 at 11:59 p.m. EST.


  • All winners must be 18+.
  • The winners of the Vixen Creations Mustang, Fleshlight, Fun Factory Big Boss, Leaf Life, Spareparts Hardwear Joque, and Vixen Creations Leoweenie must live in the U.S.
  • The winners of the njoy Pure Plug and We-Vibe Touch must live in the U.S. or Canada.
  • International winners agree to pay customs/duties fees if needed.