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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

    Review: Zumio E

    New York Toy Collective Jack 2-in-1 FTM stroker & packer

    Guest Review: Jack stroker & packer

    Review: OhMyG

    Review: Caress

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Sex toys on top of wrapping paper.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

    The current state of Early to Bed in Chicago, with packing materials amidst dildo displays.

    Dildos in a pandemic: the sex toy industry and COVID-19

    My column in the high school paper, with the headline "Breaking four years of silence." There is a rainbow gradient effect over the image.

    That time I came out to my entire high school

    My logo on top of a glorious sex toy array, on top of a turquoise vulva-esque backdrop.

    Welcome to the NEW Hey Epiphora!

    Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.

    The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
    • Tags & categories
  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ

We-Vibe

We-Vibe is a rechargeable vibrator manufacturer most known for their flagship vibe that can be worn during penetrative sex. I’m a fan of their clitoral vibes Touch and Tango, versatile G-spottin’ Rave, and hands-free and incredible Dusk. (I like to pretend the Gala never happened.)

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Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

December 31, 2018
Before we give the middle finger to 2018, please come along with me on a romp through the year in... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: epic girth and vibrating tendrils

September 24, 2018
VIXEN MADE A NEW DILDO! Unfortunately, it’s too effing big for my vagina! The Gambler (such a good name) is... Keep Reading
Sex toy giveaway, featuring the njoy Pure Wand, We-Vibe Tango, and Sliquid lube
Giveaways

Giveaway: win sex toys for you and a friend!

August 17, 2018
Did you hear? I’ve partnered with one of my newest affiliates, Spectrum Boutique, to spoil you AND a friend with... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Gala on a bookshelf.
Sex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Gala

March 20, 2018
My clit is a pretty sensitive creature. You’re going to need to know this going in. Take notes for the... Keep Reading
Two Fleshlights (with vulvas) side by side, with a vibe on each clit.
Guides

Buzzy vs. rumbly vibrators: SEE & DISCERN the difference!

January 13, 2018
“Buzzy” and “rumbly” are words you’re bound to encounter if you spend any time in sex toy circles. These words,... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: thrustin’, suckin’, and lube dispensin’

January 10, 2018
Most important news first, y’all: Fun Factory’s Stronic G is a REVELATION. Like the other Stronics, this toy thrusts all... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2017

December 31, 2017
2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: menstrual cups and “cyclonic vibrations”

September 24, 2017
FUN FACTORY IS MAKING MENSTRUAL CUPS. YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS. They’re called the Fun Cups. I have used them... Keep Reading
Graphic advertising the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship, sponsored by Early to Bed, Fuze, We-Vibe, Dame, Crystal Delights, and OhMiBod.
Announcements

Announcing the Amplified Voices Sex Blogger Scholarship!

July 6, 2017
Hi! Me again! Today I am using exclamation points a lot because I’m so excited to announce this thing! Remember... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Wish rechargeable clitoral vibrator on a small table, next to a clock and necklace.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Wish

June 29, 2017
There’s a common piece of sex advice, an old sex educator adage usually aimed at people wanting to please vulvas:... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Pivot and Verge cock rings lying on a book on top of a nightstand.
FeaturesHell Yes / Um, No

Hell Yes: We-Vibe delves into cock rings and butt plugs

June 7, 2017
Progress is slow, yet quick. I’ve had this sex blogging gig long enough to have been around when the first... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: a pint-sized Doxy and devil horn cervix ticklers

June 1, 2017
We-Vibe is making cock rings! And a butt plug! All of ’em are app-compatible, which makes a lot of sense... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Sync vibrator with gavel
"The Industry"BanterDon't Trust the HeadlinesFeaturesSex Toy News

So, about that We-Vibe lawsuit…

March 15, 2017
It’s all over the news right now that We-Vibe is settling a lawsuit over their app-enabled vibrators, and naturally, everyone wants... Keep Reading
FeaturesSex Toy News

Sex toy news: masturbation polish & the rechargeable craze

March 10, 2017
WE-VIBE HAS A NEW TOY OUT AND I’M SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It’s a squishy, oversized bugger called Wish that’s packed with... Keep Reading
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuides

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2016

December 31, 2016
2016 has been a trying, infuriating, exhausting year, and it seems trivial to jump straight to sex toys without acknowledging... Keep Reading
We-Vibe Rave rechargeable app-compatible G-spot vibrator on a reflective table.
Greatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy ReviewsVibrators

Review: Rave

November 18, 2016
It was 10:15 am, just a bit before I needed to leave for work, when the We-Vibe Rave arrived in the... Keep Reading
1 2

Fresh tweets

Today I got a pitch from a sex shop that "prides itself on being the ANTI-PORNCENTRIC sexual wellness site." ANTI-… https://t.co/We5FHIda3f
yesterday
  • Reply
  • 6 Retweet
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True that. Thanks for the mug @funfactory_intl❤️ #fuck2020 https://t.co/XlXLpLNmZo
9 days ago
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Latest posts

Sex toy Black Friday + Cyber Monday sales!

Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

Review: Dame Kip and Pom

Sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse winners!

Giveaway: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

Where vibrators are born: my trip to Fun Factory in Bremen, Germany!

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