Progress is slow, yet quick. I’ve had this sex blogging gig long enough to have been around when the first rechargeable cock ring was released, and while a handful more have cropped up throughout the years (oh and never forget the LELO Pino, more known for its sleazy marketing tactics than its functionality), there haven’t been a ton of new rechargeable rings. Then suddenly, in a flurry, We-Vibe has released three new toys: the Pivot ($109), Verge ($119), and Ditto ($129). Two cock rings, one butt plug. All rechargeable. All app-responsive. Probably, knowing We-Vibe, all equipped with kickass rumbly motors?! This is good stuff. We-Vibe makes another butt plug already, the Dusk, but it doesn’t have an internal motor — its vibrational power comes from the addition of . . . read more

We-Vibe is making cock rings! And a butt plug! All of ’em are app-compatible, which makes a lot of sense for toys that get all up in your genitals’ business. Rumbly vibrations, too, I bet. Gooood. How truly majestic is this new uncut dildo from New York Toy Collective? And I thought Carter was beefy — this toy is 2.5″ in diameter! In keeping with their “let’s name sex toys after people” theme, it is called… Leroy. Yeah. Well. I’m having some conflicted feelings about the Womanizer 2GO. I’m not a lipstick person at all, but the idea of a smaller, less potato-shaped Womanizer does appeal to me. Tantus’ latest offerings include ball stretchers and a selection of classic dildos recast in . . . read more

It’s all over the news right now that We-Vibe is settling a lawsuit over their app-enabled vibrators, and naturally, everyone wants to know my opinion. (Thank you, by the way, for thinking of me whenever sex toys are in the news.) According to the plaintiffs, We-Vibe was collecting app usage data without their knowledge. One headline reads, alarmingly, We-Vibe vibrator creator to pay damages after spying on user sex lives. Obviously, privacy and consent are important, but so is context. So, what kind of data was collected and how was it used? When the issue was brought to We-Vibe’s attention in September, they explained: We do collect certain limited data to help us improve our products and for diagnostic purposes. As a matter . . . read more

WE-VIBE HAS A NEW TOY OUT AND I’M SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It’s a squishy, oversized bugger called Wish that’s packed with rumbly power. It’s not without flaws, but that’s all I’ll say for now. New flavors of Sliquid lubes are here! I have yet to get my tongue on them, but damn if they don’t sound delicious: Tangerine Peach and Blackberry Fig. Satisfyer, commonly known as “that company ripping off Womanizer,” has 5,000 different models of their suction toy these days. Incredibly, they sent all of them to me. My clit has some work to do. Tickler, whose forgettable battery-operated vibes I reviewed years ago, has a new line of rechargeable toys: Classy, Choosy, and Snazzy. Despite it being the worst color . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older lists!] 2016 has been a trying, infuriating, exhausting year, and it seems trivial to jump straight to sex toys without acknowledging that. But this is also a year in which we’ve needed to learn how to remain resolute amidst unbelievable pain. To laugh at the absurdity of our world. And if you want absurdity, oh, look no further than my life. This was my ninth year reviewing sex toys for all the internet to see. This year, among other things, I perverted a soap dispenser into a lube dispenser, let other people control my vibrator over the internet, and played vaginal Chubby Bunny with tiny silicone dildos. I cycled through 12 different butt plugs in . . . read more

It was 10:15 am, just a bit before I needed to leave for work, when the We-Vibe Rave arrived in the mail. I was already dressed — pants, shirt, shoes. My hair was wet from a shower. I’d already had one orgasm that morning, in bed with my fingers after a hot dream, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t have my glasses on yet, but there was no time for that. Nor was there time to give the vibrator an initial charge. I took the Rave straight out of its packaging, turned it on, and unbuttoned my pants. I pulled up some porn on my laptop, shoved my underwear to the side, and pressed the vibrator against my clit in a blurry-eyed haze. Yes. . . . read more

Let’s start with the most amazing news in recent history: THERE IS FINALLY A NEW BLOWJOB DILDO. Some of you might remember Mr. Man, which has been out of production for ~7 years. This new take is similar: hollow in the middle, with an opening on each end to transfer suction from the head to the wearer’s genitals. Right now it can be found at Early to Bed and She Bop. I’ll also be reviewing it, once I put it through its paces. I’m notoriously Not That Into “couples” toys like the We-Vibe, but even this jaded bitch over here can appreciate the changes they’ve made in the We-Vibe Sync. It now has two points of adjustment to fit a . . . read more

The Lovehoney Flash (left) is a buzzy vibrator. The Doxy Don (right) is rumbly. Perusing the sex toy exhibitor booths at AVN, turning on and off strange vibrators from no-name companies, one word kept flittering into my mind: buzzy. Ugh, too buzzy. What a shame. The design is cool, but it’s so fucking buzzy. Nope. I even met an avid reader of my blog who works for an up-and-coming sex toy manufacturer. Their flagship vibrator intrigued me with its peculiar manta ray flaps and vibrant shade of turquoise silicone. But I turned it on and could not hide my disgust. “It needs a better motor,” I sighed. “Oh, I know,” she said. “I knew you’d hate it.” A sex toy could do literally everything else right — ergonomic shape, body-safe . . . read more

Vixen has released a peculiar dildo called the VixenAire Mustang. It inflates when you apply pressure to the base. I love my Mustang, but the VixenAire only inflates near the base of the toy, which I find weird??? For ages, I’ve hoped a company aside from Bad Dragon would invent a silicone squirting dildo. It has become so with the Pop! A SQWEEL FOR YOUR DICK. It looks like a torture device, but so do all the Sqweels. Fun Factory’s latest vibes are Lady Bi, a rabbit, and Moody, a curved G-spot/prostate toy with a textured flared base. It comes in orange! Um, yes, my need to rub these vibrators all over my body is strong. These are the new Tenga . . . read more