Before we give the middle finger to 2018, please come along with me on a romp through the year in my life and sex toys! It was a year of low-key shenanigans: I pulled off a viscous yet glittery April Fools’ prank, attended a few sex parties, started keeping a journal again, took a cute romantic trip, read a lot of smutty fan fiction, watched a ton of CockyBoys, and went to amateur porn film festival HUMP! twice — once with my mom. (She loved it.) I said goodbye to my sweet 17-year-old kitty and healed my soul with some much-needed Melissa Etheridge. Most importantly, I started therapy — a milestone that feels like it will be relevant for years to come. . . . read more

VIXEN MADE A NEW DILDO! Unfortunately, it’s too effing big for my vagina! The Gambler (such a good name) is nearly 3″ in diameter — an epic challenge of girth. But Bex conquered it! Vixen has also been quietly adding special edition versions of their toys to their site, including anal beads that look like jawbreakers, a galaxy-swirled Hitachi attachment, and colorful pop art inspired Mustangs. Very cute! What a coincidence: around the same time I roasted Aneros’ Evi for being a useless blob, they’ve announced a vibrating version. Insert pondering emoji. Crystal dildo maker Chakrubs has expanded into wood. Pretty, but way way too pricey. We-Vibe merged with Womanizer. My initial reaction was concern, but perhaps this will be . . . read more

Did you hear? I’ve partnered with one of my newest affiliates, Spectrum Boutique, to spoil you AND a friend with amazing sex toys! Spectrum is a hip Detroit-based online sex shop run by Zoë Ligon dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion. They are rad and they stock many of my favorite things, so it was very easy to put together a bundle of fantastic products to give away. Each winner can choose between this bundle or $200 to spend at Spectrum! The bundle includes the legendary njoy Pure Wand G-spotting dildo, powerful We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe, and a bottle of body-safe lube from Sliquid! (Sidenote: I’m getting to a point where I have to photoshop scratches off my Pure Wand. . . . read more

My clit is a pretty sensitive creature. You’re going to need to know this going in. Take notes for the final test. When I haven’t had an orgasm yet, I can usually come during one of the lower settings of a vibrator — generally speaking, with good vibrators. I’ve been known to “just get the first orgasm out of the way” during my masturbation sessions; I’ve accepted that I come quickly at the beginning, so I figure, why fight it? The We-Vibe Gala doesn’t even get me there. Even when it’s my first toy of the night. When I haven’t come yet. When I’m watching pretty boys blow each other in a fort or fuck passionately by an outdoor fireplace. It . . . read more

“Buzzy” and “rumbly” are words you’re bound to encounter if you spend any time in sex toy circles. These words, popularized by bloggers and educators such as yours truly, refer to the quality (not intensity!) of vibration, with buzzy characterized as a higher-frequency, surface-level vibration and rumbly as a lower-frequency, more robust vibration. I’ve long posited — and, to be honest, stated as fact, because I’m just that presumptuous — the idea that rumblier vibrations are deeper and more penetrating. Well raise your glasses, mofos, because now I have SCIENCE and VIDEO to prove it! Below are some video clips made by Jeff Spitzer, a former aerospace engineer who spent over 30 years designing airplanes, engines, and scads of other . . . read more

Most important news first, y’all: Fun Factory’s Stronic G is a REVELATION. Like the other Stronics, this toy thrusts all by itself — but this one can be used hands-free, and its perfectly-hooked tip gives my G-spot everything it craves. Ooof. So good. Lube dispensers are all the rage now and I blame me. The Touch heats your lube and will utilize any lube you want, unlike the exorbitantly expensive Pulse, which takes proprietary pods. Sliquid has a toy cleaner! I still don’t really believe in toy cleaners, but at least I trust Sliquid not to put junk ingredients in theirs. Screaming O just released a few new toys in their “Affordable Rechargeable” line. I’m very curious if the motors . . . read more

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] 2017 was a landmark year for this old blog. I commemorated an entire decade of blogging about sex toys, got verified on Twitter (a longtime goal, shhhh), and found myself on the cover of SheVibe for a whole dang month. It was a year of new materials, in which my vag finally experienced crystal and porcelain. I gave you a grand tour of my majestic sex toy closet, watched in amazement as a dude fucked his own ass with his own dick and, somewhat accidentally but still hilariously, got stoned via my ass. What a world. This year, I vacationed to Maui with my mom, where I interviewed her about my queer . . . read more

FUN FACTORY IS MAKING MENSTRUAL CUPS. YES, THIS DESERVES ALL CAPS. They’re called the Fun Cups. I have used them for many a period now and they have been a worthy addition to my bleedin’ life. [Edit: review here!] Jimmyjane’s latest vibrators are called Love Pods: Halo, Coral, and Om. Halo claims to have “revolutionary cyclonic vibrations.” Am I excited to eviscerate these toys? Absolutely. Do I care that that sounds petty as fuck? Nope. Hating on Jimmyjane is one of the simple pleasures of my life. For the first time in years, Je Joue has new stuff. Nothing flashy, just some basic rechargeable bullets, but you know, I’ll take basic over false claims of innovation… [loud exaggerated cough] Meanwhile, . . . read more

Hi! Me again! Today I am using exclamation points a lot because I’m so excited to announce this thing! Remember how I’m teaching an online sex blogging class this fall with my good friend JoEllen Notte? WELL, thanks to several amazing companies, we are offering six individual scholarships to the class, which will be held online from September 1st through October 20th. Yes, six, thanks to the generosity of Early to Bed, Fuze, We-Vibe, Dame, Crystal Delights, and OhMiBod. Our aim with this scholarship is to amplify the voices of people who have, in the past, been under-represented in sex blogging. We want to combat the notion that sex blogging is only accessible to white, affluent, able-bodied cis people. The scholarship is open to all, but priority will . . . read more