I’m exhausted, y’all. Turns out, awarding over 50 sex toy prizes to over 50 different people is tiring! But I’m also stunned and humbled: over 5,000 individual human beings entered my huge annual giveaway. Thank you, all of you, especially those who left sappy comments on the post. I know I bribed you into saying nice things, but every nice thing still means a lot to me. I wish I could give all of you the sex toys of your dreams, but at least Black Friday is this week, and I vow to faithfully keep you updated on the best sex toy deals in all the land. Here are the winners. All have been notified and confirmed. Until my next . . . read more

This month, my blog turns 8 years old. It could’ve been a two-term president in that time. My sex toy collection has grown from a sad box of junk to a walk-in closet of glory; my standards have been raised to preposterous levels. But one thing remains the same: each year, I celebrate my blogiversary with a huge giveaway, to put my favorite sex toys in the hands of people who deserve them. With liberty and #sextoysforall. [All graphics by the incomparable Aerie. Hire them for any and all projects!] 54: that’s the number of sex toy prizes I wrangled for this giveaway. It’s a new record for most toys I’ve ever given away at once. I’m also allowing you to choose your top 3 prizes this time . . . read more

The biggest giveaway of the year on this here blog has officially closed, and what a giveaway it was! There were over 4,800 individual entrants vying for 30 fantastic sex toy prizes. As always, I loved being a sex toy santa for a day and emailing all the winners! If you didn’t win this time around, I have two pieces of news to lift your spirits. One, this week is Thanksgiving and therefore Black Friday and therefore the most hardcore discounts on sex toys, and I’ll be cataloging all of them in a post for you. Keep your eyes peeled on my Twitter account, or sign up for my newsletter to be alerted when I publish that post (maybe Wednesday?). Two, I have a consolation . . . read more

I am a bit concerned about you, peeps. Nary a whisper has been uttered to remind me that it’s October and therefore time for me to give away a pile of sex toys in celebration of my blogging anniversary. Have you forgotten? Or are you just patiently waiting for this post? WELL, IT IS HERE. [Bless Aerie for making these graphics! Hire them for any and all projects!] Each year, I refine this giveaway, and each year I ask myself, “how can this giveaway best benefit my readers?” That’s why I decided this year to do individual prizes, so there will be a grand total of 30 winners. 30 of you will win 30 of the best sex toys on the planet. No . . . read more

I say this every year, but HOLY FUCK, PEOPLE. You went nuts in my 6-year blogiversary giveaway. Over 3,600 individual souls entered, 2,200 people reblogged on Tumblr, and I lost count of the number of tweets long ago. Also, 1,900 of you filled out a survey about my blog, which blows my mind. I haven’t had a chance to go through the responses yet, but I’m sure they will be invaluable in my blog’s growth. So thank you! A lot of you have been asking what the most popular prize packs were. The top three were the Stronic Eins + Ako, Magic Wand + Pure Plug, and Ryder + Mona 2 + Lockable Toy Case. Without further ado, the winners (who have all been contacted)! The Ryder, LELO Mona 2, and a Lovehoney Lockable Toy Case go to . . . read more

October is the month when the leaves start turning, my sweaters finally get put to good use, and I celebrate that one time 6 years ago I thought it might be fun to start a blog. As has become tradition, I launch an epic blogiversary giveaway each October. Each year I have outdone myself, and last year I gave away 18 prizes. Naturally, this year, I’m giving away 37… 52 if you count all the bottles of lube. Because that’s not setting myself up for failure next year or anything. So quoth my friend, “one of these days you’ll just give away a whole store.” [Everyone bow down to the freakishly talented Aerie for creating the graphics for this giveaway. If you ever . . . read more

Holy shit. This giveaway. I can’t even. I know I called it “massive” in the title, but that was before it actually became massive. Over 3,000 people entered — about three times the number who entered last year. I am exhausted and inspired from reading all of your comments. I am, and will remain, your humble dildo servant. Now: winners! The winners have all been notified and many prizes shipped out. Here’s the list of all 18 winners. The LELO Mona 2, donated by LELO, goes to Lydia and Kai! The Jopen Comet G Wand, donated by SheVibe, goes to Katie! The njoy Pure Plug, donated by Lovehoney, goes to Sarah! A $150 gift certificate donated by Tantus goes to Alyssa! The Eroscillator 2 Plus, donated . . . read more

Five is a good, solid number. And it is now the number of years I have been stuffing things in my vagina for the internet’s entertainment writing this blog! Never one to disappoint, I am following up my usual epic blogiversary giveaway each October with a giveaway even more epic. The number of prizes has been steadily rising each year, and this year it rests at a hefty 18. You guys! This is getting out of control! Here’s a taste of the smorgasbord: As always, I am only giving away toys I’ve tried and loved (except the Shilo Pack and Play and Fleshlight). I wrangled a range of items: vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, a sleeve, a packer, a harness, and even a $150 gift certificate, . . . read more

Wow. I’m about 99% certain my 4-year blogiversary giveaway was the most successful giveaway in the history of this blog. And that’s a tall order considering some of the hella cool giveaways I’ve done in the past. I am humbled by all the amazing comments you left offering improvement ideas. I’ve already implemented one of the ideas — a suggestion box where you can drop your thoughts without even giving your name. Hopefully it will be useful when you have something embarrassing you want to tell me? Or something? Without further ado, here are the lucky winners of the 15 toys in my giveaway! The Tantus Splash, donated by Tantus, goes to Kyra! The LELO Luna Beads, donated by LELO, go to . . . read more