Pretty lights; sweet, crispy deep-fried dough; the rush of adrenaline as you narrowly escape with your life — there’s just something magical about carnivals. So, to celebrate 11 years of sex toy blogging, I decided to throw a DILDO CARNIVAL! Where instead of winning a lousy stuffed animal you didn’t really want anyway, you can win a fancy sex toy of your choice. [All graphics by the amazing Aerie.] In this carnival, I’m giving away the best sex toys on earth — as judged by my discerning genitals. I’ve got everything from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a porn membership for the pervs! There are . . . read more

That’s it! The hugest sex toy giveaway of the year is over, and I have awarded all 100-ish prizes to the winners! (Yeah, I have so many prizes now I’ve lost count. What a world.) THANK YOU ALL for making the whole thing a roaring success — by commenting on my posts with sweet words, by sharing the giveaway on social media, by following Boris’ clues, and just for generally being amazing readers and followers over the years. The reason I’ve amassed so many prizes is because I want to give away as many as possible to you fine people. Sadly I can’t give you all free sex toys, but Black Friday is this week, and as usual I’ll be keeping you . . . read more

Hi, hello, I’m commemorating 10 years of sex blogging with the most extravagant sex toy giveaway I’ve ever done. I’m giving away 80+ of the best sex toys ever made, as judged by my discerning vagina. Then, because that wasn’t enough, there’s a grand prize pack of my very favorite products worth over $1,000 — with 10 runners-up. SO MANY WINNERS. [All graphics by the wonderful Aerie.] Peeps, I’ve got everything here from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products and BDSM implements, plus gift cards for the indecisive and a porn membership for the pervs! There are even a bunch of “winner’s choice” prizes, where you can win any toy you desire from the catalogs . . . read more

Cupcake butt plug and Shilo. The cliché is true — it feels like just yesterday and like forever ago. This week marks 10 years since I first published a review of a sex toy on the internet. It was fall 2007, my junior year of college. That summer, I’d moved out of the dorms and into my first apartment. I was 20 years old, almost 21. If you’d asked me what my career was going to be, I would’ve hesitated and posited, “…writer? I hope?” A cautious optimism underneath which lied a practical fear. A fear that I could never make a living with writing, that I’d end up in an office job, probably, and that the only skill I’d spent my . . . read more

I’m exhausted, y’all. Turns out, awarding over 50 sex toy prizes to over 50 different people is tiring! But I’m also stunned and humbled: over 5,000 individual human beings entered my huge annual giveaway. Thank you, all of you, especially those who left sappy comments on the post. I know I bribed you into saying nice things, but every nice thing still means a lot to me. I wish I could give all of you the sex toys of your dreams, but at least Black Friday is this week, and I vow to faithfully keep you updated on the best sex toy deals in all the land. Here are the winners. All have been notified and confirmed. Until my next . . . read more

This month, my blog turns 8 years old. It could’ve been a two-term president in that time. My sex toy collection has grown from a sad box of junk to a walk-in closet of glory; my standards have been raised to preposterous levels. But one thing remains the same: each year, I celebrate my blogiversary with a huge giveaway, to put my favorite sex toys in the hands of people who deserve them. With liberty and #sextoysforall. [All graphics by the incomparable Aerie. Hire them for any and all projects!] 54: that’s the number of sex toy prizes I wrangled for this giveaway. It’s a new record for most toys I’ve ever given away at once. I’m also allowing you to choose your top 3 prizes this time . . . read more

The biggest giveaway of the year on this here blog has officially closed, and what a giveaway it was! There were over 4,800 individual entrants vying for 30 fantastic sex toy prizes. As always, I loved being a sex toy santa for a day and emailing all the winners! If you didn’t win this time around, I have two pieces of news to lift your spirits. One, this week is Thanksgiving and therefore Black Friday and therefore the most hardcore discounts on sex toys, and I’ll be cataloging all of them in a post for you. Keep your eyes peeled on my Twitter account, or sign up for my newsletter to be alerted when I publish that post (maybe Wednesday?). Two, I have a consolation . . . read more

I am a bit concerned about you, peeps. Nary a whisper has been uttered to remind me that it’s October and therefore time for me to give away a pile of sex toys in celebration of my blogging anniversary. Have you forgotten? Or are you just patiently waiting for this post? WELL, IT IS HERE. [Bless Aerie for making these graphics! Hire them for any and all projects!] Each year, I refine this giveaway, and each year I ask myself, “how can this giveaway best benefit my readers?” That’s why I decided this year to do individual prizes, so there will be a grand total of 30 winners. 30 of you will win 30 of the best sex toys on the planet. No . . . read more

I say this every year, but HOLY FUCK, PEOPLE. You went nuts in my 6-year blogiversary giveaway. Over 3,600 individual souls entered, 2,200 people reblogged on Tumblr, and I lost count of the number of tweets long ago. Also, 1,900 of you filled out a survey about my blog, which blows my mind. I haven’t had a chance to go through the responses yet, but I’m sure they will be invaluable in my blog’s growth. So thank you! A lot of you have been asking what the most popular prize packs were. The top three were the Stronic Eins + Ako, Magic Wand + Pure Plug, and Ryder + Mona 2 + Lockable Toy Case. Without further ado, the winners (who have all been contacted)! The Ryder, LELO Mona 2, and a Lovehoney Lockable Toy Case go to . . . read more