Hi, hello, I’m commemorating 10 years of sex blogging with the most extravagant sex toy giveaway I’ve ever done. I’m giving away 80+ of the best sex toys ever made, as judged by my discerning vagina. Then, because that wasn’t enough, there’s a grand prize pack of my very favorite products worth over $1,000 — with 10 runners-up. SO MANY WINNERS.
Grand Prize Pack (worth $1,000): Boris’ spy mission
Hallo, this isss Boris speaking. I have secret classified mission for you, should you choose to accept. Reward isss great: big huge prize pack of human’s best favorite sexy toys. (No twisty ties included, though. It is oversight.) To be eligible, you must become sneaky spy like me, member of CIA — Cat Intelligence Agency — for Operation: Recover Tiny Dildos.
I have swiped human’s tiny dildos and stashed them throughout blog. Using my clues, you must infiltrate blog, locate drop points, and recover dildos with corresponding secret code. Codes you then input in giveaway widget. Agents who find most codes will be entered to win grand prize pack!
I give you 5 clues to begin, then each Thursday during giveaway, I will release 5 new clues in giveaway widget to aid in search. (Follow human on the Twitters or Facebooks to get alerts.) I suggest desktop version of site for hunting. You must act alone, under cover — contact with fellow spies prohibited and no funny business.
I remember yours efforts, keep in mind for future missions.
This mission open to all spies-in-training, international and domestic. Runners-up will still be eligible for one more prize from their top 5 list. Grand prize winner will not.
How to enter
Read about each of the prizes below, sorted by those open to international entrants and those restricted to US entrants. Choose 1-5 prizes you want most (carefully — you can’t change your picks after you’ve entered), then enter using the widget below or on the giveaway landing page.
Read before entering: Take note of the account you used to sign in, as you will need it again if you return on a different day. To ensure your entries are properly counted, please disable any ad-blocking extensions or software before entering. Some entry techniques require Gleam authentication. Do not be alarmed; this simply makes it easier for me to verify entries. Problems? Email me or [email protected]
Might I interest you in a fruit- or vegetable-shaped sex toy? Self Delve makes silicone dildos shaped like eggplants, corn, bananas, cucumbers, and more. Some of their toys even use thermochromic pigments, so they change color with temperature.
Yeah. I’m jealous of this prize. Crash Pad Series is full of sizzling hot queer porn and they have sorting options up the wazoo — so if you want to see a scene starring Chelsea Poe (swoon) or featuring strap-ons, you can do that in 2 seconds flat.
If you’re in need of a high-quality silicone dildo or butt plug (and who isn’t?), this prize is for you. Oh dang, what will you get? Cush? Ryder? Something else from their dual-density O2 line? So many possibilities!
Known as one of the best masturbation sleeves around, the Flip Hole comes in several styles and textures, including the Flip 0 which, fittingly, was released as Tenga’s 10-year anniversary product! Put yer dick in it.
The Pulse is one of the most unique penis toys on the market. It can be used while hard or flaccid, with or without a partner, and this newer remote-controlled version features 25% more powerful vibrations.
Look past its fugly exterior to the toy within — this toy oscillates, and it feels different and deeper than a traditional vibrator. Plus it has stood the test of time, holding up as one of the greatest clitoral stimulators I’ve ever tried.
Honestly, now that Crystal Delights butt plugs exist, I’m annoyed when any glass plug doesn’t have a Swarovski crystal in its base. With this prize, choose the plug shape and crystal color of your wildest dreams!
The two profoundly rumbly motors in this toy are more than enough to make it amazing… but it also heats up.
The Crystal Delights Epiphora-Exclusive dildo of your choice, donated by Crystal Delights.
Fact: Crystal Delights makes both of my favorite glass dildos: the swirly Crystal Twist and bumpy Star Delight. Win this prize and you can have whichever one you’d like, with special Epiphora-colored Swarovski crystal base.
Why settle for one anal toy when you can win THREE? With the perfectly-curved Bootie plug, the jiggle-ball-containing B Ball Uno, and Flexi Felix anal beads, this set is a great introduction to anal play.
I am super impressed with this girthy toy from Fun Factory. Incredibly powerful, flexible, and intuitive, the Big Boss G5 (with new and improved clicky buttons!) is a triumph of modern vibrator-making.
Ooh, friend, if you haven’t experienced VixSkin dual-density silicone yet, you must. It will spoil you for life. Choose from any of Vixen’s amazing designs — my faves are the Buck, Mustang, and Maverick.
Dive into rope bondage! This pack includes two 20-foot lengths and one 40-foot length of hand-spun RAINBOW bamboo rope (similar to this), safety scissors, twobooks, and an instructional DVD, all beautifully gift wrapped.
Most known for their sound-responsive vibrators (such as the Club Vibe, beloved by cam models), OhMiBod also makes the solid Lovelife Cuddle, and its app-controlled cousin, the Nex 2. Pick your favorite from their array of fun stuff.