Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Embark on a pleasure vacation with this indulgent sex toy giveaway!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)
Illustration by the obscenely talented Addison Finch.

It’s my 15th blogging anniversary! Let me whisk you away to Orgasm Island, the only resort in the world that treats you like the sexually insatiable being that you are!

At this clothing-optional paradise, rooms are equipped with lube dispensers, sex blankets, and TVs with over 100 free porn channels. Order room service to have sex toys delivered directly to your room on a silver platter. Ask the concierge for safer sex barriers or vibrator chargers. Watch dancers work the pole at the luscious luau, then take a dip in the pool and enjoy the swim-up bar, where the cocktender will pour you the dildo of your dreams right before your eyes.

Embark on your pleasure vacation now — choose from 80+ sex toy prizes, including $100 shopping sprees, and you may even win the grand prize package worth over $1,500. It’s the pervert’s dream: a massive collection of the finest sex toys imaginable, including a fully custom dildo.

Revel in erotic energy, indulge in your most carnal desires, and forget all your cares. Get away from it all — with orgasms.

Read about the prizes below, then enter to win!

Giveaway ends November 5th at 11:59 pm PST.

GRAND PRIZE — $1,500 pleasure vacation!

THAT’S NOT A TYPO, PEOPLE. This absurdly luxurious prize package, by far the largest I’ve ever put together, contains eight sex toys (including a completely custom dildo), a 6-pack of lube, and a year-long porn subscription — and it’s worth over $1,500. It’s practically a lifetime supply of sex toys, and it’s available to all, including my international friends!

To be eligible for the grand prize, you must collect all 5 “postcard stamps” (codes) on my social media posts throughout the giveaway. Find each code, then input it into the giveaway widget to validate the entry. Input boxes will be added as stamps are revealed.

Sex toy prizes up for grabs!

Shipping restrictions for prizes are listed in the giveaway widget.

Checking in? Uberrime's limited edition dildos in the "Colors of Aloha."
Check in to Orgasm Island with one of these beautiful specimens, donated by Uberrime.

Element 3, Splendid, Uno, or Teuthida from Uberrime — 15 available!
In honor of my anniversary, Uberrime poured 15 (!!!) limited edition dildos in the “Colors of Aloha.”

Cute Little Fuckers

Toy of winner’s choice from Cute Little Fuckers
Playful toys for every body, made by a trans creator.


Toy of winner’s choice from Chakrubs
Eye-catching natural crystal dildos and yoni eggs.


Product of winner’s choice from Clone-a-Willy
A fun rainy day project: clone your genitals!


Rose gold Vesper from Crave
A statement necklace — and also a vibrator.

Crystal Delights

Toy of winner’s choice from Crystal Delights — 2 available!
Exquisite glass dildos and anal plugs adorned with jewels.


Toy of winner’s choice from Dame
Sleek pleasure products and ingredient-conscious body care.


Toy of winner’s choice from Doxy
Industrial strength vibrators. Mic drop.


Toy of winner’s choice from Fleshlight
World-renowed penis strokers in tons of designs and textures.

Fun Factory

Toy of winner’s choice from Fun Factory — 4 available!
Colorful, well-built vibrators, dildos, and thrusting toys.

Funkit Toys

Toy of winner’s choice from Funkit Toys
Silicone creations with personality, made by a fellow queerdo.

Hole Punch Toys

Toy of winner’s choice from Hole Punch Toys
Dildos and butt plugs in outrageous, fantastical shapes.

Je Joue

Toy of winner’s choice from Je Joue
Rumbly vibrating toys, from bullets to cock rings.


Toy of winner’s choice from LELO
Veteran brand with a sophisticated aesthetic.


Toy of winner’s choice from Lovense
App-compatible toys with special features for cam performers.

Portland Toy Company

Toy of winner’s choice from Portland Toy Company
Small-batch silicone wonders from a queer creator.

Pris Toys

Toy of winner’s choice from Pris Toys
Neon-splashed, handcrafted dildos and wand attachments.


Toy of winner’s choice from SelfDelve
Wonderous silicone toys shaped like fruits, vegetables, and more.


6-pack of lube from Sliquid
Body-safe lube that’ll make everything better.


Toy of winner’s choice from Tenga — 3 available!
Penis strokers and squishy vibes with a Japanese aesthetic.

Velvet Thruster

Thruster Mini of winner’s choice from Velvet Thruster
Innovative insertables that fuck you silly.

Magic Wand

Magic Wand of winner’s choice from Vibratex 3 available!
The one and only. The original. The legend.


Toy of winner’s choice from We-Vibe — 2 available!
Cult classic vibrators, many with long-distance functionality.


Toy of winner’s choice from Womanizer — 2 available!
The revolutionary suction toy that launched a thousand knock-offs.


Toy of winner’s choice from Zumio
Uniquely pinpoint, highly stimulating vibes.

Crash Pad Series

One-year porn subscription to Crash Pad
A queer porn mecca, both hot and affirming.

Shopping sprees, hell yeah!

Wanna choose your own adventure? Enter to win $100 to spend however you wish at the following lovely retailers:

Enter to win now!

First choose the 5 prizes you want most (carefullyyou can’t change your picks after you’ve entered), then enter using the widget below or on the giveaway landing page. Be aware of which prizes are available in your region — they are marked in the entry form.

Keep an eye on my Instagram and Twitter for more chances to earn entries as the giveaway progresses. You’ll be able to rack up additional entries by liking/retweeting, so long as you validate the posts in the giveaway widget.

Orgasmic getaway giveaway!

This giveaway ends Saturday, November 5th at 11:59 pm PST.