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I am a bit concerned about you, peeps. Nary a whisper has been uttered to remind me that it’s October and therefore time for me to give away a pile of sex toys in celebration of my blogging anniversary. Have you forgotten? Or are you just patiently waiting for this post?
WELL, IT IS HERE.
Each year, I refine this giveaway, and each year I ask myself, “how can this giveaway best benefit my readers?” That’s why I decided this year to do individual prizes, so there will be a grand total of 30 winners. 30 of you will win 30 of the best sex toys on the planet. No big deal.
I’ve got everything here from vibrators to dildos to butt plugs to harnesses and prostate toys, gift cards for the indecisive and a porn membership for the pervs! I’m giving away the usual favorites, like the Mona 2 and Pure Wand, and fresh new stuff I’ve never given away before, such as the njoy Eleven, LELO Loki and Hugo, L’Amourosa Rosa, Crystal Delights Tail, Liberator Wedge, Fun Factory Tiger G5, Minna Ola, Spareparts Tomboi, and OhMiBod blueMotion NEX|2. Plus, more than half the prizes are available to my international readers!
If you don’t win, I’m going to have a neat consolation prize for you from Flirtmoji!
How to enter: Read about each of the prizes below, choose your very favorite (carefully — you can’t change your pick after you’ve entered), then enter using the widget.
This giveaway ends on Tuesday, November 17th at 11:59 pm PST.
BIG THANKS to the companies who donated: LELO, SheVibe, Lovehoney, Tantus, Minna, Smitten Kitten, We-Vibe, Spareparts Hardwear, Fun Factory, Fleshlight, Vixen Creations, Pink & White, OhMiBod, Crystal Delights, L’Amourose, Babeland, njoy, Early to Bed, Good Vibrations, and Vibratex!
Open to everyone / international readers
The LELO Mona 2, donated by LELO.
I never tire of giving away Monas. This unstoppable vibrator is versatile as fuck, with a vibration range that could suit almost anyone. It’s so good it inspired a hashtag, #dumphimbuyaMona, and I own three of them.
The njoy Pure Plug in your choice of size, donated by Lovehoney.
One time I joked about the stainless steel Pure Plug staying with me after I die, placed in a nook next to my urn. I do not regret this. This butt plug is everything a butt plug should be.
A $100 gift card to Early to Bed!
Get a cool hundred to spend at an indie sex shop run by one of the sweetest (and most hilarious) people I’ve met in the industry. Their selection is curated and top notch.
The Eroscillator 2 Plus, donated by Smitten Kitten.
Look past its fugly exterior to the toy within — this toy oscillates, and it feels different and deeper than a traditional vibrator. Plus it has stood the test of time, holding up as one of the greatest clitoral stimulators I’ve ever tried, even though it’s been 6 years since I reviewed it.
Open to winners in the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan.
The New York Toy Collective dildo of your choice, donated by SheVibe.
Silicone realistic dildos with bendable inner cores? That you can pack and play with? Yes, it’s true, and the cushion of these dildos makes them awesome for strap-on play.
Open to winners in the US, UK, Canada, and Australia.
The LELO Hugo, donated by LELO.
Debuting to rave reviews, LELO’s latest prostate toy is freakishly powerful and controlled via remote, so you can buzz your prostate into oblivion from afar (or near).
The njoy Pure Wand, donated by njoy.
Oh, only the toy that has taught millions1 of vaginas to squirt. Just one of the greatest G-spotting dildos of all time. Your G-spot will sing like a choir of angels. Whatever.
If you’re in need of high-quality silicone dildos and butt plugs (and who isn’t?), this gift card is for you. Oh dang, what will you get in their awesome online shop? The Cush? Something else from their dual-density O2 line? So many possibilities!
The LELO Siri 2, donated by LELO.
Finally upgraded with a more powerful motor, LELO’s humble little Siri is now a contender for best rechargeable clitoral vibe on the market!
|The We-Vibe Pleasure Mate Collection, donated by We-Vibe. |
My world changed when I discovered hands-free orgasms thanks to two toys in this collection — the Dusk “butt plug” and Tango vibrator combined.
The L’Amourosa Rosa, donated by L’Amourose.
Deeply rumbly vibrations surpassing most other sex toys on the scene. If you’ve been dissatisfied with vibrators before, this one’s for you.
The Crystal Delights Tail of your choice, donated by Crystal Delights.
A glorious glass butt plug with a tail attached, just for you! Which will it be — a pony tail, a bunny tail, or a fluffy fur tail?
A year membership to Crash Pad Series, donated by Pink & White.
Yeah. I’m jealous of this prize. Crash Pad Series is full of sizzling hot queer porn and they have sorting options up the wazoo — so if you want to see a scene starring Chelsea Poe (swoon) or featuring strap-ons, you can do that in 2 seconds flat.
A Fleshlight of the winner’s choice, donated by Fleshlight.
The years go by, and the Fleshlight remains the gold standard for my most treasured penis owner (my boyfriend). With this prize, you have your pick of the litter.
Not seeing the toy of your dreams on this list? SheVibe stocks pretty much every good sex toy on earth, including some obscure yet awesome brands. They rule.
The We-Vibe Touch, donated by We-Vibe.
It may look like a potato, but don’t be fooled — it’s a petite rechargeable vibe equipped with enough oomph to satisfy.
The LELO Loki, donated by LELO.
The brand new BUTT MONA! For your butt! With a flared base! Because you should put vibrating things in your butt! Also, that blue.
The njoy Eleven, donated by njoy.
It weighs three pounds. You can kill intruders with it. You can also stuff your orifices to the brim with it, if you dare — this stainless steel beast is 2″ in diameter at its widest part.
The Comet II Wand, donated by SheVibe.
This silicone-dipped vibrator is disgustingly good at G-spotting. The drag of the silicone is amazing at replicating the “come hither” motion that G-spots love.
Open to winners in the US, UK, Canada, and Australia.
Open to U.S. readers only
|The Fun Factory Stronic Eins, donated by Fun Factory.
The Stronic Eins does not vibrate; it THRUSTS. And if you prop it up against a pillow, you don’t even have to hold it. I often crave it specifically — a sure sign of excellence in my household.
The Liberator Throw, donated by Babeland.
The most water-resistant sex blanket available today. You, too, can experience the peace of mind that comes with having a Throw under your butt.
The Tiger G5, donated by Fun Factory.
I am super impressed with this latest offering from Fun Factory. Incredibly powerful, flexible, and intuitive, the Tiger is a triumph of modern vibrator-making.
A VixSkin dildo of your choice, donated by Vixen Creations.
Ooh, friend, if you haven’t experienced VixSkin dual-density silicone yet, you must. It will spoil you for life. Choose from any of Vixen’s amazing designs — my favorites are the Buck, Mustang, and Maverick.
The Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness, donated by Spareparts Hardwear.
So comfortable, so adjustable, so perfect. This harness makes strap-on sex worth having.
The Minna Ola, donated by Minna.
Wanna record your own vibration patterns and play them back against your genitals? Okay! Ola can do that!
The (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable, donated by Vibratex.
The Magic Wand is one of the strongest vibrators ever — loved by those with clits and those with penises. I fell in love all over again when they introduced a rechargeable version this year. YES, GOOD.
Open to winners in the US and Canada.
The OhMiBod blueMotion NEX|2, donated by OhMiBod.
One of my favorite mid-range vibrators is OhMiBod’s Lovelife Cuddle, which has just recently been given fancy schmancy long-distance control capabilities in the Nex|2! The possibilities, yesssss…
The Spareparts Hardwear Tomboi, donated by Spareparts Hardwear.
Wanna fuck, but still wanna look like the cutest queer on the block? Boom: the Tomboi underwear harness.
The Liberator Wedge, donated by Good Vibrations.
Sex positions becoming infinitely better — and oh my god, easier — when you have a Wedge lying around. Truly, one of the unsung heroes of my repertoire.
The Vibratex Mystic Wand, donated by Vibratex.
The mighty Mystic Wand is my favorite battery-operated wand vibrator. When you’re on a business trip and you need something small yet powerful to whip out and appreciate in a hotel room, this toy is your ticket.
Open to winners in the US and Canada.
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Epiphora’s 7-year blogiversary giveaway!
Deadline: Tuesday, November 17th, 2015, at 11:59 p.m. PST.
- All winners must be 18+.
- If you enter for a prize that cannot be shipped to your country, I will have to choose a new winner.
- Winners will have 48 hours to respond to emails, or their prize will be forfeited.