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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Sound Off!

Plz give me your opinion, thx.

Latest
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  • A to Z
Collage of various toys. Pick a sex toy, any sex toy!
Sound Off!

Poll: Which toys should I try?

February 19, 2017
It’s been a while since I sat down and scouted out new sex toys to review. Usually I grab items...
Keep Reading
Tweet reads, "I just thought of an awesome slogan for my site: 'Where sex toys go to be judged.'"
Sound Off!

Should I change my slogan?

December 5, 2011
There are a lot of things about this blog that were decided on a whim. For instance, the domain name....
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My new Facebook fan page.
BanterDisingenuous AssholesSound Off!True Life: I'm A Sex Toy Reviewer

I’m sick of you, Facebook

February 14, 2011
Facebook hates sex bloggers. This is well-established. They’ve disabled my account twice now. The first time, they told me I...
Keep Reading
Epiphora's best sex toys of 2010
Best & Worst Sex Toys of the YearGuidesSound Off!

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2010

December 31, 2010
I’m starting a tradition, peeps! Every year around this time, I’m gonna make a list of my top and bottom...
Keep Reading
Poll results. You want the snark, don't you?
Sound Off!

Poll: What should I post next?

December 2, 2010
People! Friends! I’m finally back! I am now with a different host and hopefully should have very little or no...
Keep Reading
BanterSound Off!

Holiday giving wishlist

December 4, 2009
This year, I thought I’d participate in the holiday wishlist meme. I’ve already been able to grant some of Ashley’s...
Keep Reading
Welcome to my life. Sex toys all around, a laptop, measuring tape, coffee, batteries...
BanterBlogger LyfeSound Off!

Where to go from here

November 6, 2009
Passing the one-year mark on this blog has led me to think a lot about what I should change around...
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GiveawaysSound Off!

Vote for the Pure Wand winner!

September 5, 2009
A month ago, I began a very hardcore contest called What would you do for a Pure Wand?. I decided...
Keep Reading

Fresh tweets

Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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  • Latest posts
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  • Buy toys
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    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
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