This 10″ glass dong is smooth and sensuous and doubles as a pipe, perfect for enjoying your favorite smoke right before you enjoy each other! Try it with a friend; one takes a toke, the other gets a poke!
It all makes sense to me now, the reason I’ve never smoked pot: nobody had yet to incorporate a dildo into the process! SOLD. I will now proceed to become a full-fledged stoner with weed bud particles spilling out of my vagina.
I am not sure I fully understand the logistics of this item (I will not dignify it by calling it a toy), but one thing’s for sure: potheads are way too lazy to hold up that much pipe. [Edit, 2/7/17: Because I care, I’ve come here 4 years after originally writing this to inform you of the existence the Schlong Bong which, thankfully, doesn’t purport to be a dildo too. You’re welcome?]
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. There is, unfortunately, more, and it’s called… the Erotic Cigar. “Erotic” — I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
Who would buy this. Who would buy this? Who would buy this?! I don’t want to meet such a person. I guess it’s for either Bill Clinton or the five super mature men left on earth who think it’s ~so hawt~ when a woman eats a banana or popsicle.
Most of the photos of the Erotic Cigar feature the eyeless, sun-hat-wearing model sensually holding the cigar just barely to her lips. Because oh yeah, when you actually smoke it you look like a fucking tool:
On their website you can witness the ANIMATED GREEN SMOKE EFFECT. Their slogan is “sometimes a cigar ISN’T just a cigar,” and yet, two seconds later, they state that “even though you will be tempted to try it… this cigar is NOT meant to be used as a sex toy.”