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  • Reviews
    Reviews

    The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X

    Dame Kip and Pom rechargeable silicone bullet vibrators

    Review: Dame Kip and Pom

  • Guides
    Guides

    Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

    Me holding the Lovehoney Flash and Doxy Don, demonstrating the way one moves much more visibly than the other (and thus is much rumblier).

    Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

    A selection of toxic sex toys. They smell like beach balls.

    Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

    Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018

    September 2014: Ejaculate all over my leg and soaked through a towel from the njoy Pure Wand.

    How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

    Colorful vibrators and kegel balls surrounded by iridescent curly ribbons.

    Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

  • Banter
    Banter

    Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

    Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

    Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

    Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

    A hand caressing the tattooed leg of a person wearing a strap-on: the New York Collective Shilo dildo.

    Queer sex party chronicles: every night a blank slate

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal. Cassette player lying in the grass, surrounded by sex toys and Epiphora-labeled cassette tapes.

    Sex blogger field notes: audio journal

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

    Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

  • New here?
    • Get directions!
    • Greatest hits
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  • Toybox
  • All-time faves
  • Buy toys
    Buy toys
    Dildos on display, courtesy of Early to Bed, one of my favorite indie sex shops.

    Epiphora-approved sex toy shops

    Various sex toys laid out on a grey table next to a rainbow blanket, with hang tags displaying handwritten prices.

    Sex toy sales, deals, and promos

    Finn Carson and Calvin Banks kissing, on CockyBoys

    Epiphora-approved porn

  • FAQ
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Giveaways

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Giveaways

Swag Contest: Win a Rabbit Habit or Pink Kink Kit!

December 13, 2008
Very exciting news! My pal Mae at Babeland is allowing me to give away two great items to my readers....
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Giveaways

Babeland Swag Contest winners!

December 30, 2008
I didn’t get very many entries for my first swag contest, but two of them made me giggle the most....
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Babeland Gift Card
Giveaways

Contest: Win a Babeland gift card!

February 27, 2009
Yep, my friends at Babeland are letting me have a second contest! I’m giving away a $20 Babeland gift card!...
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Babeland Gift Card
Giveaways

Babeland gift card winner!

March 18, 2009
I probably should not admit this, but I have a soft spot for people who are looking for their first...
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Giveaways

Contest: Win the toy I rave about

March 29, 2009
TabuToys has taken notice of my ridiculous and unhealthy obsession with my Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet, and they presented me...
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Giveaways

Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet winner!

April 11, 2009
I received nearly 30 entries to my contest to win the Epiphora-approved Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet, making this contest my...
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Giveaways

Giveaway: Win two bumpy glass dildos!

May 22, 2009
In celebration of my graduation and my leap back into reviewing and blogging, I am excited to announce a bumpy...
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Giveaways

And the bumpy glass goes to…

June 13, 2009
My Twitter contest for a set of two bumpy glass dildos has come to a close, and I must say,...
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BanterGiveawaysTrue Life: I'm A Sex Toy ReviewerWhine Time

Saying “dildo” on Twitter

June 18, 2009
It’s easy to forget, especially within my sex toy bubble, that there are all kinds of people on Twitter. Look...
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Giveaways

Giveaway: Glass dildos galore!

July 18, 2009
Check out them beauts! Meet the Vortex (top) and Pleasure Wand, two absolutely gorgeous glass dildos sent to me from the generous folks...
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Giveaways

RubyGlass21 dildos winners!

August 2, 2009
My contest for two glorious glass dildos from RubyGlass21 has come to a close, and I was delighted with the...
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njoy Pure Wand in its beautiful gift box
Giveaways

Contest: What would you do for a Pure Wand?

August 9, 2009
Ten inches of stainless steel. Two spheres of extreme G-spot stimulation. One and a half pounds. The sex toy, the...
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njoy Pure Wand
Giveaways

Round 2 of the Pure Wand contest begins

August 21, 2009
It’s that time… time to move into the next phase of my What would you do for a Pure Wand?...
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GiveawaysSound Off!

Vote for the Pure Wand winner!

September 5, 2009
A month ago, I began a very hardcore contest called What would you do for a Pure Wand?. I decided...
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njoy Pure Wand
Giveaways

And the winner of the Pure Wand is…

September 14, 2009
After all the voting on the entries for the Pure Wand contest, I am proud to finally announce the winning...
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Giveaways

Blogiversary blowout: oodles of sex toys

October 6, 2009
Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of this here blog, so of course, I wanted to give out some presents! I...
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1 2 3 … 6

Fresh tweets

Latest posts

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Epiphora's orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Orgasmic getaway giveaway! ($1,500 grand prize, 80+ prizes)

Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking

Movie Night: The Final Member

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  • Latest posts
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  • Buy toys
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    • Sex toy sales, deals, and promos
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