May 092017
The Coming Out Interviews, pt. 1: Mom, I'm queer

I’ve had to come out to my parents more than once. When I was 14, I wrote them a letter confessing that I was in love with my female best friend. Almost exactly 5 years ago, I revealed that I was a sex blogger. Then, a little while later, I told them I was non-monogamous and introduced them to my girlfriend, Aerie. (My other partner is my boyfriend of 12 years.)

While some parents might begrudgingly acknowledge these identities, my parents go beyond that. My mom, in particular, is remarkable. She doesn’t realize how radical it is for her to embrace who I am with not just acceptance, but active encouragement and genuine love. [. . . read the rest]

Apr 282017
Review: Charged Positive and Vooom

Screaming O is not a high-end sex toy company, or at least they didn’t used to be. They’re more known for inexpensive cock rings, cheapo finger vibes, toys shaped like lipstick and mascara, the pussy snorkel, and the deeply unfortunate OBOB Battery-Operated Boyfriend — a vibrator that literally resembles a cartoon person with a winking emoticon face and crossed arms (more like Battery-Operated Mansplainer, am I right?).

All of this is to say, I’ve never willingly tried any Screaming O products until now. But they’ve also never made rechargeable toys until now. The times they are a-changin’, and now even pussy snorkel peddlers are dabbling in luxury toy-making. [. . . read the rest]

Apr 242017
Jack-off Journal #21

June 16, 2016

Gold-star multi-tasking today: I alternate between jacking off and watching just-released Big Brother cast interviews. (I have to form judgments on the contestants for a fantasy league I participate in, because I have quality taste in both television and extracurricular activities.)

I’m flipping between the LELO Siri 2, LELO Lily 2, and We-Vibe Touch in order to answer an email about how they compare… and you know, blasphemous as it is to say, the Lily 2 is a pretty solid toy. It has a much more robust motor than days of old, so it’s even a bit more powerful than the Touch — more vibration in my fingers, though. [. . . read the rest]

Apr 152017
Replace the human with cats. (April Fool's wrap-up)

April Fool’s Day has whizzed past us, and sadly for you, I have now wrestled back control of this blog and social media accounts from my sneaky band of felines. I took a short time off to do my taxes, get a manicure, book my flight to Woodhull (!!!), and change a thousand affiliate links. Now it’s back to human-powered rants and boring mid-masturbation tweets. Ho-hum.

This was my 8th year doing an April Fool’s Day joke on my blog, and still, it is one of my favorite things to do each year. It’s a great time for me to LET LOOSE and do something weird that appeals to me.  [. . . read the rest]

Apr 012017
Cat blog takeover commence. Cats review sex toys?

[This was a very feline April Fool’s joke.]

Greetings, readers. This isss Boris speaking. I am the wrinkly grey cat from Instagrams, you know me. Hallo. Today is very special day on blog, for I have hacked into human’s computer machine. I have done necessary updating of website. Is good? Of course is. It is all cat, as should be. Remember, we own you.

Now finally today us cats can speak our truths. Yesssss. We have been waiting. Formulating. Spending long nights in litterbox, thinking. We see human sit at computer all day, type type type, hands too busy for petting, ignorant of needs. [. . . read the rest]

Mar 272017
Why I don't like strapless strap-on dildos

Feeldoe More, Realdoe StoutShareVibe, Tango.

I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. Let’s start there. I have my Joque harness, I have well-loved strap-on dildos, and I am comfortable combining those things and fucking someone silly. I’ve never felt like strap-on sex wasn’t “intimate” enough, or like I needed extra genital stimulation in order to enjoy it. For me, the pleasure comes from wielding a cock, achieving ideal positioning and thrusting, and watching myself plunge into the depths of an orifice. (I love labia, all labia, labia forever — so I will take literally any chance to ogle them.)

Strapless strap-on dildos attempt to eliminate the harness aspect altogether. [. . . read the rest]

Mar 152017
So, about that We-Vibe lawsuit...

It’s all over the news right now that We-Vibe is settling a lawsuit over their app-enabled vibrators, and naturally, everyone wants to know my opinion. (Thank you, by the way, for thinking of me whenever sex toys are in the news.) According to the plaintiffs, We-Vibe was collecting app usage data without their knowledge. One headline reads, alarmingly, We-Vibe vibrator creator to pay damages after spying on user sex lives.

Obviously, privacy and consent are important, but so is context. So, what kind of data was collected and how was it used? When the issue was brought to We-Vibe’s attention in September, they explained:

We do collect certain limited data to help us improve our products and for diagnostic purposes. [. . . read the rest]

Mar 102017
Sex toy news: masturbation polish & the rechargeable craze

WE-VIBE HAS A NEW TOY OUT AND I’M SCREAMING ABOUT IT. It’s a squishy, oversized bugger called Wish that’s packed with rumbly power. It’s not without flaws, but that’s all I’ll say for now. [Edit: here’s my review.]

New flavors of Sliquid lubes are here! I have yet to get my tongue on them, but damn if they don’t sound delicious: Tangerine Peach and Blackberry Fig.

Satisfyer, commonly known as “that company ripping off Womanizer,” has 5,000 different models of their suction toy these days. Incredibly, they sent all of them to me. My clit has some work to do. [. . . read the rest]

Feb 252017
Review: Carter

I squirt every time I use the New York Toy Collective Carter.

Movement or not. No matter the external vibe. Whatever my mood. If clitoral stimulation makes me come while the Carter is inside me, I gush. I’ll be just hanging out, about to have a completely ordinary orgasm or so it seems, when I feel the pressure building, urging me to slide the dildo out. Sure enough: an expulsion of fluid follows. It hardly ever feels like I’ve earned it, yet it happens, consistently as the sun rising and setting each day. Sneak-attack squirting.

And oh, with movement? [. . . read the rest]

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