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my cervix is displeased

Ow ow ow ow ow ow owwwwwww.

Supplies for Mirena IUD insertion laid out at the doctor's office, including forceps, lube, gloves, and the Mirena box.
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?Banter

The (not so) harrowing tale of my IUD insertion

The morning of my IUD insertion began with me desperately driving across town to retrieve a sex toy. I didn’t...
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Fun Factory Bi Stronic Fusion pulsator on an ornate rug.
Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: Bi Stronic Fusion

Wipe the stars from your eyes. Dash your dreams. Give up all hope. It sounds perfect on paper: a beautiful...
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Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.
April Fool's!DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tiny Dildos

Perhaps “tiny” is condescending. “Diminutive”? “Miniature”? “Wee”? I don’t want to be flippant or rude, but it’s an objective fact that these dildos are...
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LELO Hula Beads in the snow.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementKegel ExercisersSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Hula Beads

Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO...
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James Deen dildos
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: James Deen dildos

THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY. Having followed porn star James Deen for years,...
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DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Delve

Well, folks, the time has come — I’ve found a NobEssence toy that doesn’t work with my body. But it’s...
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Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. Let’s start there. I have my Joque harness,...
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Bedside table set-up before jacking off at #dildoholiday.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #20

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On...
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Joyful Pleasure glass dildos: Joyful Princess, Midnight Joy, Orgasmic Key Pleasure, Joyful Blue Swirl
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Joyful Pleasure glass dildos

These glass dildos from Joyful Pleasure presented me with a few obstacles. See, I have this thing with insertable objects where I feel...
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Lily LaBeau looking sexy with her skirt pulled up, sitting on a couch.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #15

July 27th, 2012 Creeped myself out watching a Belladonna movie from 9 years ago called StrapOn Chicks: Bella’s Bitches. There...
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Suds rolling down Charley Chase's ass.
FeaturesJack-off Journal

Jack-off Journal #10

July 1st, 2010 I have learned a lesson about lube bottles. Before use, always cautiously test to make sure the...
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Greatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pileVibrators

Review: Rider

The Jollies / LuzArte Rider is an unusual beast. Part lump of silicone, part vibrator, it is meant to nestle...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Minn kGoal kegel exerciser vibrator and my Android phone

Review: kGoal

Bouquet of hand drawn sex toys.

Friends who have sex with each other

LELO Pino... a cock ring "exclusively for bankers"

Um, No: Pino

Dame Products Eva "hands-free" "couples" wearable vibrator standing up like a creepy bug.

Review: Dame Eva

Jimmyjane Form 5 and Hello Touch X vibrators (plus masking tape labels) next to some fall leaves.

Review: Form 5 + Hello Touch X

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