I’m offended by Topco’s U Touch line. I wasn’t, at first — I was legitimately intrigued and even somewhat optimistic when I first heard about it. When a big company like Topco realizes rechargeables are the way of the future, it’s reason to be excited. But apparently not that excited. This line offends me because it takes everything we love about rechargeables and shits on it. It steals what’s good and alters it until it’s 10x worse. And then it asks for $85 for the thing, as though we don’t have a precedent, as though LELO and Je Joue and Jimmyjane and Fun Factory don’t exist and haven’t spent years developing this technology. At least when LELO asks $169 for a . . . read more
Why would you even think to do that? WHY?
Those who remember the wrath I unleashed on the Nomi Tang Better than Chocolate may be surprised that I was even interested in the latest Nomi Tang creation, the insertable Getaway Wild. But the shape of the Wild reminded me of my old-time squirting lover, the LELO Ella, so I suspended my previous judgment — — until I dealt with the Wild’s battery compartment. Holy crap, the easiest way to make me quickly hate a toy is to make me loathe putting batteries in it. Honeymoon: immediately, irrevocably, over. Commence irritation and not-entirely-warranted judgment. Let me explain. The base of the toy unscrews to reveal the battery chamber. Inside the chamber is a plastic sheath for the 2 AA batteries. This . . . read more
My standards for the Toyfriends were laughably low. I reviewed their predecessors, the Ticklers, and was astonished by with their lack of power. Although the Toyfriends are bigger and take AAA batteries rather than Ns, I was very skeptical. There are four different Toyfriends: Coney (black), Bubbly (pink), Nosy (yellow), and Seti (blue). And yes, Seti is named after the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence — the manual even says so! Each toy is 7-8″ long and comes with a clear plastic stand and batteries. Each toy takes 2 AAA batteries, inserted into the base side-by-side. The silicone on the Toyfriends is very silky to the touch. The shafts are completely rigid, and the heads don’t have much give (the necks bend, . . . read more
Let’s get one thing out of the way: I don’t like chocolate all that much. In small doses or in Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, okay, but I’m not ravenous for it — and contrary to popular belief, my ovaries do not dictate that I will choose chocolate over a vibrator. But at least Nomi Tang’s Better than Chocolate isn’t called “Sunny Lane’s Cliterrific Manta Ray” or something equally mind-numbing. It at least has an interesting, ear-catching name, and a name that I can appreciate since it looks so nice as an acronym. This is a luxury toy, in part due to its price (nearly $90), in part due to its all-around elegant appearance. I was very impressed with the packaging, which . . . read more