toxic toys

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys

There’s a glimmer of recognition that crosses someone’s face when I ask, “have you ever encountered a sex toy that smelled like a new shower curtain?” The widening of the eyes, the slight nod. This is how I introduce the concept of toxic sex toys, and it is almost always met with understanding. That smell, I explain, is off-gassing from chemicals called phthalates, which are used to soften plastics. “Phthalates have been banned in childrens’ toys,” I tell them, “but the sex toy industry is completely unregulated.” It’s been nearly 10 years since I started in this industry, and yet — sadly — this teaching moment remains as effective as ever. It’s usually the point at which the person shares . . . read more

Review: OVO L1 Silicone Love Balls

Review: OVO L1 Silicone Love Balls

My rollercoaster ride with the OVO L1 Silicone Love Balls began one fateful afternoon in August. Days before, I’d sweated my ass off cleaning and organizing my garage. But it was not completely The Worst, because I had the LELO Luna Beads in my vag. They jiggled and joggled as I hauled boxes back and forth, reminding me that life was perhaps worth living despite the creeping despair that comes with realizing you own way too much goddamn stuff. Then, a few days later, I put in the OVO kegel balls, hoping to replicate the experience as I continued packing for my new home. And… I promptly forgot they were in. They were in for many hours, and I was doing strenuous work, yet they did not shiver, they . . . read more

Once and for all: what's in our sex toys?

Once and for all: what’s in our sex toys?

Everyone knows regulation in the sex toy industry is practically nonexistent, right? We all accept that as fact. We have to do all the material-sniffing and toy-burning for ourselves. We have to use condoms on things because we quite literally have no idea what they contain. Is this how things are destined to be forever? I used to think so, but not anymore. Dildology is a brand new non-profit organization run by Dangerous Lilly, Crista Anne, and Val Orenda that will send sex toys to labs to have them independently tested. With this, there will finally be some accountability within the industry, and we’ll have a much better idea which manufacturers to trust — and which to side-eye. Unfortunately, testing is not . . . read more

Ask Piph #3

Ask Piph #3

Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Your boyfriend seems to be pretty comfortable with your reviewing. I’m curious about your choice to remain anonymous since you seem to be well received. Sorry if this is too personal or involves family dynamics. LOVE your blog. Thank you, friend! Yes, my boyfriend is totally fine with my blog and my insane obsession with sex toys. My parents and some of my family also know, although they don’t have the URL or anything. I’ve been super anonymous since the start, and I’ve kept it that way just in case I ended up getting a “mainstream” job. I definitely feel less protective of my . . . read more

A dude's solution to the problem of phthalates

A dude’s solution to the problem of phthalates

Women! Have you been wondering how to avoid that pesky group of chemicals called phthalates that are often used to soften cheap sex toys? Are you skeptical of those who tell you to simply buy phthalate-free toys? Don’t worry your pretty little head any longer — A Man™ has the solution you long for: “Forget That Soft Sex Toy and Find a Real Man.” The reason is clear. Phthalates can potentially cause health problems, while men do not: Instead of using those soft plastic dildos or sex toys, finding a real man could take care of this problem. Men do not cause multiple organ failure unless they stress you until you take to excessive alcohol drinking and smoking. Men are . . . read more

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