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The bread and butter of this blog: sex toy reviews! Want to browse my reviews in a different way? Check out my Toybox, consult my list of tags, or jump to the worst stuff I’ve tried or my favorites.

Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?
Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo
Sex blogger field notes: audio journal
Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X
Guides
Guides
Let me teach you things! Such as how to become a savvy sex toy shopper and avoid sex toys that will poison you.

Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator
Your genitals deserve better: the case against toxic sex toys
Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2018
How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)
Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide
Banter
Banter
Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about sex-related falsehoods perpetuated by the media. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and True Life: I’m A Sex Toy Reviewer.

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective
Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday
Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?
Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo
Porn gems: playful domination & fireside fucking
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My Celebrator oscillating toothbrush vibrator on a vintage floral patterned surface.

Greatest Hits Sex Toy Reviews Vibrators

Review: My Celebrator

July 1, 2016

What is life if not a series of attempts at proving arrogant men wrong? I never wanted to have to...

Latest posts

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.

Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

Lora DiCarlo Osé twisted up in the only semi-usable position. Also some others from the line: Baci, Carezza, and Filare.

Good riddance, Lora DiCarlo

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Greatest Hits

Step inside my sex toy closet

Spareparts Hardwear Joque harness as modeled by the lovely Penny and Bex.

Review: Joque harness

The LELO Ella, a white dildo with a flat tip, lying on a dark blue sheet. It is slightly wet.

Review: Ella, and my first ejaculation

Together, we form one fully functional human

Me holding the Diva Cup silicone menstrual cup, with appropriately blood-colored polish on my fingernails.

Review: Diva Cup

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