Why does Jimmyjane still exist? That’s mean. I know. I should delete that. I should write a new first sentence, something less hopeless and definitive. But sitting down to tell you about Jimmyjane’s recent releases, that is the question that pops into my head. Why, year after year, do they create products with little to no understanding of human needs? Why do they fail to improve upon anything, to move forward in any meaningful way? Why do they insist upon peddling $4,000 bouncy sex castles and $35,000 private jet rides rather than getting people off? Take, for instance, the Form 5. This is the fifth vibrator in the Form series, after we’ve been subjected to a glitchy tooth, malformed tongue, bowling pin, and an insertable vibrator with its . . . read more

The LELO Mia and I go way back. Almost to the beginning of this blog. A lot of things have changed since then — for instance, I am now a hardcore Google Chrome fan, and the clunky Compaq laptop pictured in my original Mia review has been replaced by a sleek white Sony Vaio ((That’s right, bitches, I’m a PC person. Extol me with the virtues of Macs and I’ll chop your head off.)). With the times, Mia has evolved as well. But “second generation” is a confusing thing to say, since technically Mia is in its third generation. I tried the original back in 2008, then another version in early 2011, when the toy was updated with a new (and quite pleasing) . . . read more

For a set of restraints, the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System seems to make a dangerous declaration: fuck bedposts. Having never tried restraints until now, and lacking bedposts, I have no problem with this statement. Especially because this system convinced me that an alternative method of restraint is not only possible; it may be preferable. At first it freaked me out that the only instruction included with the Under the Bed Restraint System consists of two diagrams on the back of the plastic clamshell package. I quickly realized, however, that the restraints are stupidly simple to set up. It’s as easy as lifting up your mattress and tossing the restraints underneath — or threading them under the bed frame, . . . read more