Shiri Zinn

Review: Cupcake

Review: Cupcake

This sex toy is everything I hate. Cutesy. Twee. Pink. Girly. Symbolic. I want to chuck it into a river. So why am I reviewing it? Oh, I have my reasons. Listen to Tommy with a candle burning and they will become clear. I’ll just say this: treat sex toy reviewers like garbage, and we’ll retaliate with a fucking brick wall of links. Like, we will ruin your Google reputation. Not that the Cupcake needs any help. Its shitty icing and stupid cherry and buried vibrations speak for themselves. It comes in a metal tin with a tiny pin-up girl booklet. What? Isn’t that what you want with your vibrator? No? Why? AREN’T YOU A WOMAN? Sorry, this is actually the manual. Which alerts . . . read more

Sex toy news: watery inserts and "glass-like" materials

Sex toy news: watery inserts and “glass-like” materials

Aneros announced the release of their “first female product,” Evi. Despite the problematic nature of that phrase, I still want it. But I’m skeptical about it being a kegel toy and not a butt plug, as it looks like a pretty good butt plug. [Update: I reviewed it here.] Perhaps most intriguingly, Jopen is coming out with a line of toys called Key. Does this ad make anyone else think of those My Little Ponies with the unlocking saddles? God I loved those things. The toys are made with silicone, “real stainless steel alloy metal,” and “glass-like handles.” Because who would want to use real glass?! But they have an enticing video which is drawing me in hardcore. That G-spotting one . . . read more

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