Apr 012012

[APRIL FOOL’S! Take none of this seriously! My past April Fool’s jokes
have been pretty blatant, so I went with a more subtle approach this time.

Don’t crucify me, peeps, but I’m starting to get burnt out on reviewing sex toys. I know, I know! Of course, I’m too obsessed with sex toys to ever completely stop writing about them. But I feel like I need to change things up a little around here so I can keep my sanity. You’ll still read, won’t you? I’ll still bring my trademark snark; I’ll just be broadening my reviewing horizons a bit.

For example, there are a lot of innovative and groundbreaking sex products that I’ve overlooked in the past for judgmental reasons, and I think they deserve a fair shake. So in the coming weeks, keep your eyes peeled for in-depth reviews of the RhinoStepGloryholeTriple Extreme Male StrengthenerCum Cloth, and Bipartisan Bunny.

Also, ebooks! I’ve come to realize the great value of ebooks to reviewers. I’m already halfway through the fabulous Wife 2 Mistress, and I have another book about sexual development for men all queued up on my Kindle. If you have an ebook you’d like me to review, don’t even ask me if I’m interested — simply email it to me and I’d be happy to make time in my schedule to read and critique it.

I’ll also be reviewing some porn made by Khan Tusion, which should be fun. All the enlightening and articulate comments I’ve received from men on my post about Khan Tusion have shown me how wrong I was in my previous assumptions, and I want to make up for that with copious reviews of his revolutionary work.

Aside from reviewing new and different stuff, I will now be accepting paid posts. Approximately 50% of my posts will be written by the gracious people who always email me offering to supply me with engaging content. I trust that they are correct when they tell me that my readers will appreciate what they have to say. It’s a win-win situation, really: I make extra cash and my readers get quality info written by stand-up people.

Last but not least, I plan to accept link exchanges and banner exchanges from anyone who asks me nicely. I will also be joining and promoting any affiliate program that is offered to me, because a lot of them sound pretty promising. I hope to start generating money the moment I place their links and ads on my site.

As a result of these changes, the space for actual posts on my blog will need to become smaller — probably around 200 pixels wide to make room for the sidebar ads and links. Don’t worry, the posts will still be legible when copy/pasted into Word.

I hope you’re as excited about these changes as I am!

  • That’s great news. I’ve been humming and harring about getting a Cum Cloth for ages. Your “in depth” review could be just what I need to make up my mind. 😉

  • I would say that I’m looking forward to reading the new and improved website, but as of today I have changed my religion and sworn off of sinful sex and sex-type things entirely, and will shortly be leaving the internet as well because it is full of dirty things like Planned Parenthood petitions, Oglaf, and the homosex.

    It sounds like your new site will be excellent, though, and I am sorry I will miss all the exciting new advertisements. I like the ones that flash and pop up. I hope you have some of those.

    Is it all right if I still send you a copy of my ebook, even though I won’t be able to read the review since I am also having my eyes removed on Thursday as part of an attempt to make me stop looking at Christopher Walken’s package? I am sure that you will find it interesting. It is kinky Twilight/Star Wars Episode I “fan-fiction” written for a YA age group, and I think it will find an eager audience among your readers. Copyright infringement is not a problem, since I have changed all the names to “Hortense” to avoid confusion, and furthermore, I wrote it in the future when the copyright to those properties had expired. I mailed it back to myself through the timestream with the power of my Time Cube Reversal Engine. So, you know, everything should be fine.

  • neongrey

    I hope you don’t neglect that lovely blowjob lesson book in your newfound ebook adventures! Fifty bucks is a steal for such valuable information!

  • macho99

    This is WAAAAAAAY better than the midi embeded, comic sans and super GIF April fools prank last year. LOL

  • Mia

    It would not be April 1st without Epiphora. 🙂

  • As much as I was really looking forward to a lime green background and hot pink text with glitter graphics and midi music, this is hilarious. Good job, lady.

    In all seriousness, though, I did get really burnt out from doing sex toy reviews and have reviewed all of one beginner BDSM kit, one porn DVD, and a piece of lingerie in the last six months or more, and even those have been a struggle.

  • Sbmsvschoolgirl

    The perfect start to my April 1st. Happy April Fools day!

  • ladyastolat

    LOL! You almost had me. I was like “broader selection of product reviews, that’s cool.” Then I started clicking the links. :P~

  • Pixel

    Lol. Epicness! Though I am sad that I am not being subjected to a new theme song for your blog (your last midi choice was so tasteful!), and some glitter. 😛

  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    You had me up until the Gloryhole.

  • I love your AF posts!

  • Deborah Zarett

    Just checking to make sure this is an April Fool’s joke and you aren’t actually going to again subject yourself to anything made by Khan Tusion. If this were any other date but April 1st, I’d have to find out where you live and stage an intervention… keep the snark coming!

  • Holy crap am I a sucker — even though my brow furrowed in confusion at your willingness to reveiw e-books and sing the praises of Khan Tusion, ya still had me going… in my defense I had not looked at the date of the post… humpf.

  • Wilhelmina

    ha, i snickered at the guest posts and link exchanges. i really want to tell people who email in with that stuff to eff off :/

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