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Dildos

A basket of fruit and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, yam, corn, bunch of bananas) in the grass, on top of a tea towel with the word "MASTURBATION" on it.
April Fool's!BanterDildosSex Toy ReviewsShenanigans

Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo?

The world wants to know which household objects can be used as dildos. Pervs have been googling that, pants around...
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Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Review: OhMyG

It freaks me out to imagine the questions sex toy shoppers of today must ask themselves. The landscape of options...
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Uberrime Helios Sun God and Splendid silicone dildos standing on a table, casting a reflection.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Uberrime dildos (Splendid + Helios Sun God)

When I was but a wee sex toy reviewer, every new sex toy material was a treat. Not yet jaded...
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Fun Factory Stronic G pulsator on a slab of white marble.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosGreatest HitsHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Stronic G

Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a...
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New York Toy Collective Carter silicone dildo on a nightstand, next to a golden lamp base and a floral tea cup.
Adventures in SquirtingDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Carter

I squirt every time I use the New York Toy Collective Carter. Movement or not. No matter the external vibe....
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Tiny dildos from Tantus, Bad Dragon and Fun Factory standing up on a wooden display shelf.
April Fool's!DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Tiny Dildos

Perhaps “tiny” is condescending. “Diminutive”? “Miniature”? “Wee”? I don’t want to be flippant or rude, but it’s an objective fact that these dildos are...
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Fun Factory Bouncer kegel ball dildo on an off-white crumpled sheet.
Air Flow, Thrusters & MovementDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Bouncer

Oh, Fun Factory. You poor things. Do you not realize what the word “bouncer” insinuates here in America? That’s the guy...
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Pipedream Ceramix No. 4 ceramic dildo
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy Reviews

Review: Ceramix No. 4

I wanted to feel the sensation of water sloshing in my vagina. Like the refreshing feeling of wading into the ocean....
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Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
Anyway How's Your Sex Life?BanterDildosGreatest HitsGuidesHi, I love youLube etc.Sex Toy ReviewsSunshine & RainbowsVibrators

Sex toys getting me through the pandemic

The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that’s looked like a sort of survivalist...
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Tantus Magma, Tantus Splash, Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish, and Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 lying on colorful striped canvas.
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: Jellyfish 2.0 + Magma

Being a veteran sex toy blogger is a pretty sweet deal sometimes. I get to live to see most of...
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Doc Johnson TruSkyn line: Tru Butt Plug Smooth, Tru Ride, Tru Feel, Tru Curve sitting on a black platter on top of a bed.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Doc Johnson TruSkyn

I should start with an apology, because when this line of sex toys came out, I mocked it. “Hahahahaha Doc...
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Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.
DildosGreatest HitsSex Toy ReviewsSlush pile

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. Let’s start there. I have my Joque harness,...
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Hole Punch Toys Ass Cram Cone, Plugs Bunny, and Crotch Rocket standing on a wood pile in front of a pale blue house.
Anal ToysDildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Hole Punch Toys

There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone...
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Downunder Toys on a platter, left to right: Koala Kiss, Hot Banana Rod, Mr. H Rod (dual-density), Classic Hot Rod, Mr. H Rod (single-density)
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Downunder Toys

Contrary to popular belief, I can be sweet-talked. Start by sending me a nice, gracious email. Acknowledge the work I do in...
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Joyful Pleasure glass dildos: Joyful Princess, Midnight Joy, Orgasmic Key Pleasure, Joyful Blue Swirl
DildosSex Toy Reviews

Review: Joyful Pleasure glass dildos

These glass dildos from Joyful Pleasure presented me with a few obstacles. See, I have this thing with insertable objects where I feel...
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Crystal Delights Ash Girl glass dildo
DildosHi, I love youSex Toy Reviews

Review: The Ash Girl

I have a lot of glass dildos, but I find it disturbingly easy to eschew most of them. When I...
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Illustration of Epiphora

Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.

For over 15 years, I’ve been testing sex toys and writing about them on the internet.

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Very fave sex shops

SheVibe: my all-time fave, with a selection that will blow your brains out Spectrum Boutique: a hip, modern sex shop dedicated to body-safe toys and radical inclusion Lovehoney: the best place to shop for international orders

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Latest posts

Epiphora's best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2024)

Me wearing my harness with the Vixen Creations Leo dildo inside, an orange dildo with a bat pattern.

Queer sex party chronicles: pumpkin spice orgy

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective

Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool’s retrospective

Epiphora's Black Friday sex toy sales and deals!

Best sex toy deals for Black Friday + Cyber Monday! (2023)

A circle of people wearing harnesses and dildos, arranged in a circle and shot from above. Dildos pointing into the middle.

Queer sex party chronicles: a magical birthday

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Greatest Hits

Me holding the Diva Cup silicone menstrual cup, with appropriately blood-colored polish on my fingernails.

Review: Diva Cup

We-Vibe Tango Glow (pink) and Dusk (gray-blue) Pleasure Mate Collection

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

njoy Pure Plugs (medium and large) in a jewelry box with a bunch of gaudy bracelets and rings.

Review: Pure Plugs

Table of dildos! And camera! And notebook! And laptops! And coffee!

15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck

Strapless strap-on dildos. Tantus Feeldoe More, Tantus Realdoe Stout, Fun Factory ShareVibe, Happy Valley Tango.

Why I don’t like strapless strap-on dildos

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